A Reality Check On Your Relationship Here Is How He REALLY Feels About You
Have you ever been confused from not knowing how he really feels about you? Does his behavior seem strange? Read this story and my comment below. If you have anything like this ever happened to you, feel free to share in the comment section down this page!
Here is an e-mail from a subscriber:
A few months ago I began communicating with a guy on a dating site. After talking for several weeks, we went on a date. It went well, but I had to go out of town after that. We could not see each other for a month, but continued to talk on the phone a few times a week, with him initiating communication.
During this time talking, he set up a date and asked me to go to a wedding with him. We were happily dating for two months. He had his bday coming up and asked me to come see him the night before and see him on the afternoon of his bday. He wanted me to leave mid-afternoon, though because his good friend and friend’s girlfriend were coming to see him and they were all going out. He said he wanted a “guys’ night out.” This really just sounded to me like he wanted to spend the evening stag with a couple. I went to see him but left early the next day and told him I was upset that he would ask me to come and then leave to hang out with a couple.
He left the country for a few days, and when he came back he wanted to see me. I told him I needed him to apologize to me for how he acted and for hurting my feelings. When he saw me a few days later, he came dressed up, brought me an orchid, and wanted to take me out. We had a nice time but I didn’t really feel better. The next day he called and said he was coming into my town in a week for work and would like to see me. He refused to stay with me, however, saying he wanted to stay in a hotel. “But that I could stay with him in the hotel.” I felt like this was really weird, since I had routinely spent the night at his house when I was invited to go see him.
So, I freaked out and broke up with him. The next day, I texted him and said I was really sorry and that I had overreacted. I called him, left a message saying the same thing. I heard from him a few days later in a text. He said that he had been thinking, and that we shouldn’t see each other because he didn’t treat me the way I wanted to be treated to should be. I asked him if we could discuss this fiasco, and he agreed. But as he was on a Bachelor party weekend across the country, we waited about four days to talk.
When I called him to talk about this situation I had created, I apologized, took the blame, said I had acted like a crazy person, and asked him if he thought we could still date. He said he did, and wanted to see me that week. So when he came to town, we had dinner and watched a movie. It went fine. He said we might be able to see each other on Friday or Saturday.
I asked him if he would like me to drive to see him on Friday, and he said he had been “debating it” because of his work schedule but that I was “of course invited.” I ended up going to see him, and again, everything went fine. After I left on Saturday, though, I thought about my time with him and realized he had been disengaged. He seemed reluctant to engage in conversation with me. He just seemed quiet.
I was driving to see my family from his house, and about 6 hours in I decided to call him and ask if he was okay. He didn’t pick up. And didn’t call me back.
That was last Saturday. On Monday I sent him a text asking if he had had a good break from work, and he said it was fine, but that he hadn’t gotten enough done. So he responded, but he didn’t ask me anything. Again, a refusal to engage. I haven’t heard from him since the text on Monday. I sent him a text yesterday saying that “I hope you had a good day,” but I have not called or emailed him.
I am not sure what to do at this point. I feel like he is evaluating our relationship-but I am worried that he has decided not to see me. I am also worried that because of my past psychotic behavior, too much pressure will make him run screaming.
What is your advice? Do I call him? It’s almost been a week since we have talked. Or do I need to leave him alone? Is there any hope here for our relationship?
You were just dating and it appears that he did not want at that point to make you a bigger part of his life.
It is very clear from his behavior that he is treating you as a casual dating relationship or a ‘friend with benefits’ to be precise. I can understand you being upset over him not inviting you to celebrate his ‘real’ b-day to which his friends were invited.
It is also clear that by not inviting you to hang out with his friends who are a couple he has demonstrated to you loud and clear that he does not want his friends to perceive the two of you as a couple.
Again, by choosing to stay at a hotel instead of staying with you he is showing you where you stand in your relationship. I understand him coming for work and his company’s paying for the hotel; nevertheless, he could have checked in and stayed with you if he wanted to. Yes, he said you were invited to spend the night at his hotel room; this is what men do also when they have a hooker entertain them while on a business trip.
Do you not see it?
What should you do? You ask.
My answer would be that you should do a reality check on your relationship. This is not what you want for yourself! You don’t want to be treated like a cheap hooker or swept under the rug. You want to have the security from knowing that the man you are with is truly dedicated to you and sees you as his future family and not just a sex toy!
Have you ever had anything like this happen to you?
Do you ever get blindsided and fail to see where you stand with a guy even when everyone else around you tells you the unbiased truth?