How to Get a Boyfriend in 12 Steps
We like things totally spelled out these days: 8 ways to lose 10 pounds, 14 steps to financial success and 5 steps to building the perfect resume. It’s almost like following a recipe. Up front, recipes tell you exactly what you will need for ingredients, each individual step to get to the end result. Some even tell you the total amount of time that will be required to bake that perfect cake: 25 minutes preparation, 60 minutes baking time, 85 minutes overall.
If only things were that simple in getting a boyfriend. You know, something that said to mix up 1 cup of patience, 2 gallons of persistence, and a good dollop of a sense of humor; total time overall: 3 to 6 months, and be married within a year. Unfortunately, even though men claim to be more logical and less emotion-driven than women, I have found that the perfect method for getting that great boyfriend is not all that scientific.
That being said, my years of experience as a dating coach have helped me develop a sort of formula for my clients to improve their chances of obtaining that mysterious and highly desirable prize of a boyfriend. It’s not foolproof but this method has worked for my clients and my friends and I think it could help you too.
Step 1: Make Sure Your Target is Available.
Let’s say you meet a man you like. Before you start your journey to couple-hood, make sure that your target man is actually available. Don’t drive yourself crazy chasing after a guy that already has a girlfriend or is married.
Also, make sure he’s not newly broken up with and is currently on the rebound. Rebounders are unlikely to stay in their next relationship so if you’re looking for a boyfriend, someone on the rebound is not good boyfriend material.
Step 2: Silence that Biological Clock.
Nothing will scare off a guy more quickly than being overeager for marriage and babies. It’s not that it’s wrong to want that, just don’t start talking about it on your first few dates.
If You’re Serious About Getting That Boyfriend, Put Effort into Your Dating Life.
The women who are the most successful at getting and keeping a boyfriend are those that put serious time and effort into dating.
You never know when you might meet that perfect potential boyfriend so project an air of confidence, think about some interesting conversational topics (stay away from weather, politics, religions, and exes), and seek out opportunities to meet new people.
The more interactions you have with people, hobbies or sports you participate in, and chance meetings you have increase your chances of meeting the right guy. Dating is a numbers game whether you like it or not, and women who always seem to find a great boyfriend and land the husband of their dreams know it.
The more people you meet, the better the odds of finding a boyfriend. Even if you meet men you are not attracted to, they can later become your friends and in turn introduce you to someone who has a great potential to be your boyfriend.
Step 4: Smile and Be Approachable.
People who smile attract more people to them. When you notice that man at the coffee shop that you want to talk to, smile at him. If he smiles back, make a move and start up a conversation. Make sure that when you’re out and about that men feel like they can approach you. Let him know that you’re interested and he’ll ask you out in no time.
Step 5: Challenge Him.
This may seem like the exact opposite of step 4 but it’s not. Make sure he knows you like him but when you know that he’s interested in you, don’t get clingy. You want to present a little bit of mystery that he’ll want to figure out. Don’t put it all out there on your first date, chattering on about yourself for hours on end. Save up some of those stories for the next time you’re out.
I’m not suggesting that you don’t return his calls. You need to make it clear that you’re into him, but don’t sit at home waiting for him to call and don’t pressure him into talking about how he feels about you. Once you’re a bit further on in your relationship and things are more serious, things will change and you’ll need to have that talk about feelings but rush it and you could scare him away.
Step 6: Dating Is Not A Competition.
Being confident is one thing. Competing with your date, dressing like you’re still on the job, or pushing to open your own door and pay for your own way are almost surefire ways to make those first couple of dates your only dates.
He may want to prove that chivalry isn’t dead or he may just not want you to make him feel like less of a man because you don’t need him to do those nice things for you. Open up and smile and say thank you if he does something nice for you.
Step 7: There’s no Substitute for Chemistry.
You may really want a boyfriend but if you’re not feeling that spark when you see him he would make a better friend than a boyfriend so start back at Step 1 and find your boyfriend.
Step 8: Don’t Have Sex Just Because You’ve Reached the Third Date.
You know how your mother always said something horrible like “men won’t buy the cow when they can get the milk for free?” While I completely disagree with comparing women to cows, there is some truth to the statement.
There is no magic number of dates before you should jump into the sack but for the best relationship results, you should wait until you guys have talked about not seeing other people before you start having sex.
It’s not just safer but it’s more likely to lead to a successful relationship.
Step 9: Be Flexible.
If you want to make this relationship work, you have to be open to some compromise.
Not changing who you are, but in a relationship neither of you should feel threatened or act like it’s always your way or the highway.
If he has to work or he made plans with the guys the month before, don’t throw a hissy fit.
Be supportive of his priorities and preferences and he should be supportive of yours. Compromise is essential to a good relationship but it won’t work if one person is always giving into the other’s strongly voiced opinions.
Step 10: Don’t Cheat.
You should never put up with a man that cheats on you and you should also never cheat. If you’re into your boyfriend, you need to commit to making the relationship work. That means no dating or obvious flirting with other men.
Step 11: Let Him Know You Think He’s Special.
The way you treat him and the things you say to him should reinforce the idea that you think he’s pretty damn awesome.
Don’t go overboard and shower him with gifts or unwarranted praise but he should never doubt that he’s important in your life.
Step 12: Be Yourself and Don’t Try to Change Him.
Men fear that women will try to trap them and change everything about them.
Even if you have no plans to do this he may unfortunately be predisposed to think you want to make him into something he’s not if you try to get him to cancel his poker night or take you shopping.
And he should have no plans to change you. When you first met you were interested in him as he was and he was interested in you as you were.
Don’t act like he’s a project that you need to fix.Share on Facebook