Everything is very open and very clear explanation …
May 21, 2013 by Elaine AmDee
Filed under Dating Tips For Women
Comment posted Does He Bring Drama Into Your Life? by Deuvanira.
everything is very open and very clear explanation of issues. it contains truly information. your website is very useful. thanks for sharing. looking forward to more!
Recent comments by Deuvanira
- Why He Is Hiding His True Feelings From You
men are so confusing!
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Dear Becca,
Seriously? It’s not like the guy was cheating on you or was a closet serial killer he was going through a messy custody battle. He probably felt ashamed of the whole situation and as he admitted was scared of losing you and scaring you off and can you blame him? Yes it’s wrong he didn’t tell you about that. But after just 3 months and only seeing each other once a week I would hardly call you’re relationship that serious or that far along. Also, you went snopping behind his back and then got angry at him for not telling you about something that was quite frankly none of your business. If you find that devestating then you need to grow up that’s life – we all have a past. If the situation were reversed I’m sure you would understand but it sounds to me you don’t know how to be a supportive partner and that’s why you aren’t going to have a long term future with this guy. You’re mad at him for lying to you, breaking your trust but then you “investigated” him like a criminal breaking his. Lying is wrong period, but I don’t think the reason why he lied is evil or malicious, its because he wanted to not drag you into the drama in the first place! Looks like you created your own.
Just my two sense
- B (in a happy, honnest relationship built on trust)
As far as I am concerned he deserved what he got because he should have been honest from day 1. He wanted the best of both worlds and unforunately for him Becca was a step ahead. Nothing wrong with conducting her own investigations to safeguard her heart. Who knows his probably still fooling with the mother of his or why would she be stalking him and interfering in his personal life. It is very easy for him to say he was going to tell her – but when? when she has fallen head over heels and pregnant with his baby?? I dont think so. Wise move Becca.
hey friend i’m need share my expenrinces here ,, i’m know one men in dating site about 6 month ago ,, he always asking me to marrid with him becouse he love me so much ,,, and i’m two time have broken heart i’m need to believe to him but is not easy for me ,,and he never give enough attention for me but he always tell me about he like some think wow ,,,so i’m need to know from u are my friend to give me commen is that type true men be my future husband ,,thanks
I totally disagree with Bambi. I can’t think of anything more important than having a child, and to conceal that from someone for more than three months indicates this man has a serious problem. Maybe it’s not something one would mention on a first date, but after three months…..come on!
Bambi, your comment says you are in a good relationship built on trust…that’s wonderful, but Becca’s relationship was built on lies and dishonesty, not trust. I’m sure she sensed that at some level, or she would not have checked into this man’s background. I don’t blame her for that. Turns out her instincts were spot on! It would be nice if we could take everyone we meet at their word, but unfortunately it doesn’t always work that way. And the man’s response that he lied because he cared so much about her is a load of garbage. You don’t show your affection by lying and deceiving you supposedly care about.
I have a serious problem I hope you can at least touch on please!!! I started seeing a guy who was younger than me after nearly 3 years of being single and just focusing on me and my little girl and getting over a divorce and then had jumped right into a relationship with a man I thought was the one and it was on and off for three years. Finally I moved away and got over him and started seeing this younger guy and I felt butterflies and excitement again like I never thought I would. We seemed to click and it went fast and we were inseperable for 3 months. But, at the beginning his ex text saying she missed him(highschool sweetheart whose now engaged) and said I think you need to deal with your feelings on that before we get more serious. He said no don’t say that, you wouldn’t still be here when I got back. So I trusted he was choosing me and felt the same for me. He made comments about how his father said this is how true love is, it just hits you like a train and you’ll do anything to see the person, so I asked if thats how he felt and he said yes. One day all of a sudden while we were hanging out he said he just saw too many things that wouldn’t work and we shouldn’t be together. I acted cool and I noticed him balling as he left down my stairs to his car. I didn’t hear from him for 3 months and then he text saying sorry for the way he left and his schedule was wide open whenever I wanted to meet. We did and it was like nothing changed, spent the weekend together and he said he wanted to see if something was still there and it was. Then he leaves and sends a text saying sorry it was selfish of him to think we could just start back up where we left off and he’s confused and blah blah. So then it has basically turned into an ocassional fling and there was lots of drama in between and him lashing out and calling me names, going to my mothers he knows is mentally abusive to me, just to hurt me and talked some horrible things about me and now hate’s my family though and says he’ll never go around them. Anyway here’s where my situation becomes more difficult, I am 7 months pregnant with his son and could not reach him at first cause he was purposely ignoring me, then later said we could talk about it and he seemed like he was going to be involved, then left again and I heard nothing and now he’s saying till I have proof I won’t believe he’s mine. But after being mean to me tries adding me as a friend on facebook which he deactivated long ago. We used to communicate so well, be on the same page, have fun, and he held me on a pedastal saying he didn’t know why someone like me would be with someone like him and then he turned and started belittling me, acting negative, and he has admitted to being insecure and depressed so I just don’t know what to think or do?? I have said I’m done and have been ignoring him basically and if we do talk it’s short and sweet. What do you think and what should I do about this??
p.s He does drink a lot I found out. When we first met he said he rarely drank or went out and I didn’t see any signs that he drank so much. He said all he did was go out with the guys after work on fridays and have a few beers and he was always over to my place by 7 or 8 though on those days so I had no reason to be suspicious until I started smelling beer on his breathe, which he tried to hide cause he’d say how can you smell that? Then after we split I find out he actually does go out all the time and goes to bars alone. He got a DUI coming to see me one night, which I told him not to and he is now on probation and stuff and says he’s working on not drinking and getting his life together. The thing is a week before we met I had prayed and asked the universe to bring me someone that I was ready and he was all those things I asked for at first. When we met we just happened to be across from each other and just kept catching each others eye and smiling. Finally he came over and we had amazing chemistry and seemed to have the same views on everything. Oddly enough though the one issue we had was our views on parenting he is into spanking and tough love and I’m into time outs and nurturing and now we’re having a child. He tried to step right in and start disciplining my daughter also, which I didnt like how he was with her after a while. He started to get aggressive and would get mad and say mean things to her so I really didnt see him after that much, but other times he is great. Im starting to think he may have some kind of disorder like bi polar or something.. He isnt the caring sensative, would do anything for me guy I met and I dont know how to handle things now that im having his child.
Mandi,
If he is an alcoholic (and it sounds like he is from what you are describing) then he is unable to make mature decisions in his life, and it should not be expected of him. Alcoholism is an addiction & a disease, and it really messes up with all aspects of a person’s life. He needs to get help and to get sober before we can even start a discussion on where you should go from here.
Thank you and he told me he would go to counseling and thought maybe he should then doesn’t and I just tried to be supportive and let him know I was there for him and let him be. Then I get texts out of the blue asking how im doing and when I say great hope your doing well and do not try to keep the conversation going, he wrote back and said so is this guy (whose a friend of mine) going to be my baby’s father now or you just gave up on me?? I just said You haven’t been around at all and you can’t give up something you never really had so I’m justfocusing on my life and me and my childrens happiness, but I wish you nothing but the best always. He then gets real defensive and says well I’ll just leave you alone then, tell this guy to have fun raising my kid. So how should I take that and why is he acting this way when I haven’t been hateful or tried pushing him to do anything and he’s the one whose decided not to be involved? He is only 23 and It doesn’t seem like he is a raging alcoholic, but that something more is going on. I do undersand that he needs to figure some things out with his life before we could ever be a possibility and he has said no matter what I say and do I love you, your daughter, and the baby and want to be there, but once I let him in again he backs away again and never asks about the baby and complains that he hate’s the name I picked and nothing I do is ever right in his eyes. So what I want to know is since we are having a child together how should I react, just ignore him all together, play nice, is there a certain way to respond? I don’t want to cause more conflict or seem like I’m trying to keep him from his child and I’m scared he will use the child as a form of control to hurt me just from comments and things he’s said and done.
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everything is very open and very clear explanation of issues. it contains truly information. your website is very useful. thanks for sharing. looking forward to more!
very interesting article. valuable information here on relationship advice
good story. I really enjoyed reading it.
we all have drama but to a different degree… the key is to keep your dating drama to a minimum
i love this article! very entertaining and insightful!