Do you know when a man you are with has a genuine interest in you and when he is just using you for sex?
If you don’t know how to tell when a man is using you as a booty call, pay attention here because I am about to reveal tell-tale signs a man is using you for sex.
Sign No.1 – You always meet at your home. You never go to his area and he wants to keep it that way. He never invites you over and if he does, you go straight to his house without making a public appearance with him in his neighborhood. He does that because he doesn’t want to be seen with you, which is a sure sign he doesn’t want to acknowledge your relationship as anything more than a booty call.
And this brings you to Sign No.2 – he never takes you anywhere in public.
A client of mine complained that her man refused to take her anywhere constantly making excuses why he couldn’t do it – he didn’t want to be seen with her because of his ex-wife whom he still shared custody of their two kids with, he was a homebody who didn’t really get out much, and the list of his excuses goes on. She insisted that he took her somewhere, perhaps for a bike ride, so he finally gave in and they went on a bike ride, but he only did it under pressure of her ultimatum knowing that if he hadn’t taken her, the continuous and uninterrupted stream of sex he was getting would have stopped.
My point is, if a man doesn’t volunteer to take you somewhere that means he doesn’t want to be seen with you thus keeping your relationship a secret.
You may wonder why he stopped taking you places. Perhaps in the beginning of your affair he took you out and spent money on you, but once you became sexually intimate all that stopped. This is because in the beginning of your dating relationship he had to court you, so that you would consider sleeping with him, but once that started happening, he no longer needed to continue spending money and effort on you.
Sign No.3 – he never makes plans with you in advance.
If you ever wonder why he always seems to text you or call you on a minute notice, this is a sure sign of a booty call. This is because when he contacts you, he is looking for an instant gratification. He is horny and he wants to get some now. Perhaps he went out drinking hoping to meet someone to take home, but that didn’t happen, so now it’s 2 AM and the bar is closing, and he is drunk and horny and wants to come over for sex.
A subscriber to my newsletter writes:
“So he called me last night at 2am. He had been out with friends, some were still in the club and he was like come out and come dancing. The reason I took the call was it startled me and no one usually rings at 2am so I just picked it up without thinking. Anyway, we spoke for about 20 minutes. So we chatted a little and I was like I am not coming to meet you tonight, he said he would be in touch…. Regards, Nicole”
My response: ~ Nicole, kudos on not going over. He should know better than to call you and ask you to come over to his place at two in the morning!
If a man doesn’t make plans with you in advance, and only calls you when he is drunk and horny, and out of other options, this is a sure sign that he is just using you for sex.
Do you want to know how to turn your casual date into a boyfriend or turn your boyfriend into a husband? Read This Page
So, you and your boyfriend got into a big right. You may have sad some hurtful things to each other. You may both be feeling hurt, and feeling right at the same time. And neither one of you wants to take responsibility what the argument. Will he call you to apologize? You should you call him first? And what should you say if you decide to call him first?
Or, you may be thinking, perhaps a text message is a better way to start the conversation. But you fear rejection, because if you call him first and don’t hear back from him, it will feel like rejection.
You want him to be the one to initiate contact. And you want to know whether he’ll call you or text you first.
Although there is no certain way to tell for sure whether a guy will call you in this situation, fortunately there are telltale signs that he will call you sooner or later. Read on to find out what they are!
1. He is keeping tabs on your FaceBook activity.
When a guy really misses you, he will be checking on your social networks accounts to find out what you are up to. And he won’t just do it once, randomly, and out of boredom. He will literally obsess over your FaceBook, Twitter and Instagram.
You know he is checking up on you when he “likes” your photos on FaceBook, comments on your posts, etc.
If he does any of these, you can be sure, he will be contacting you very soon!
2. He’s been the one to contact you after a fight in the past.
Old habits die hard. Has he been the one to initiate contact in the past? People don’t change their habits. If he is the kind of guy who is the first to say sorry, chances are, you’ll be hearing from him soon. But if he is the kind whose pride is bigger than his heart, you may want to reach out to him first. He may be wanting to hear from you really bad, but making the first step to reconciliation is not his style.
3. He was the one to blame.
Ok, in an argument, there are always conflicting positions. And typically, each side of the fight thinks that their position is the right one. But this isn’t what I am talking about here. I am referring to something one should be really sorry for doing. Has he said mean things to you in the heat of the argument? Has he called you names? Did he put you down or did he intentionally hurt your feelings? If so, he should be the one apologizing for what he’s said. If he is a good person, you’ll sure be hearing from him very soon!
It’s a well know phenomenon – women tend to want to get married and make it official more often than not while men tend to drag their feet.
Here is a message I received from one of my readers in which she is asking this common question:
“My boyfriend and I started dating when we were 16 years old we dated on and off for several years but we were too young to make a commitment. We both married other people and raised families. We reunited over 3 years ago when we were both separated from our spouses, he had been separated from his wife for over 8 years, I had only been separated for about 6 months but was in the process of divorce. His divorce was finalized this February. We have lived together for over 2 years now and have a great relationship, we love each other very much and have a great time together, we are best friends. I am ready to get married, I want that commitment from him to build a strong and loving life together. We have talked about marriage, he has asked me what date I want to get married, and even talked to my son about us getting married. However he says he is not ready yet that he just got divorced and if it gets brought up even by someone else he get angry and starts yelling about how he is not ready yet. I am very confused at this point about his reactions, one minute he is talking like he’s going to propose and the next he’s yelling at me that he’s tired of it being brought up. I am heartbroken because I don’t know if he really wants to get married, he says he does someday but I don’t understand why he acts like this about it. I’m not sure if I should move out and get on with my life, and I don’t know if I could live without him, or just hang on to the hope that he will come around soon.”
Imagine this. You have a picture perfect relationship. You and your boyfriend are inseparable. You have a lot in common. You do things together. You enjoy each other’s company more so than you enjoy the company of anyone else or being by yourself. You can do things alone but you’d rather have your someone special with you to share those great life experiences with. You support each other’s goals and aspirations. Your sexual chemistry is off the charts. Most importantly, he is completely and utterly dedicated to you, just like you are to him. And, his desire to spend the rest of your life with you is unquestionable. He talks about it all the time and brings up the future in conversation here and there, which tells you that clearly and without a doubt he sees you in his life for the rest of his days.
But when you touch on the topic of marriage, he tells you it’s not time yet, or that a few years need to go by before he decides to make it official. And you just know that for some reason he is just putting off this conversation until another time, or avoiding it altogether.
Why does he seem so reluctant to marry you? What does marriage mean to him, and why does the marriage talk seem to make him run for the hills?
I’ve talked to many single men who are presently dating or are in monogamous relationships. The group of men I surveyed included mostly residents of the state of California. The age group was between the ages of 25 y.o. and 50 y.o.
I asked them what they thought about marriage, and whether they considered marriage in their future.
The answers varied depending on the age and the seriousness of the current relationship.
Dan, 26 y.o., auto mechanic, casually dating, says “I’d like to get married one day, but at this time I am just not ready. I am working on my career right now, and I’d like to go back to school again to further my education. Marriage requires money, and I am not in a position right now to start a family. It will be a few years before I seriously start looking for my future wife.”
Scott, 41 y.o., business executive, dating someone, says “I am looking forward to starting a family. I think my current girlfriend has a strong wife potential. She loves children, we get along great, and we’ve been together for almost two years now. The thing I don’t necessarily like about her is her religious upbringing and religious believes I don’t share. I don’t know if I feel comfortable raising children with such strong religious influence, but I don’t think that this alone should be a deal breaker. I am thinking that I will go ahead and take the plunge. Perhaps, after our two year anniversary is when she’ll be really expecting a proposal and I won’t be able to drag it out much longer. I love her, and I truly think there isn’t anyone better for me out there!”
Mike, 48 y.o., an accountant, dating, says “I’ve been married before, and I know that people can change, grow apart, and not have much in common anymore after years of being together. I hope that my next serious relationship will last for the rest of my life. I want someone to grow old with. I am looking for someone who shares the same views on life, and who wants the same things in their future as I do. I don’t know if marriage is necessarily the solution, I just want to have someone in my life to share it all with, but don’t mind getting married if I find the right woman. “
Many other men’s answers were along the same lines. The bottom line is, when a man finds the right woman, he will have no qualms about settling down. Marriage is a selfish decision after all. It’s a way to make one’s life better and more fulfilling. Why wouldn’t someone want to make their life better and more fulfilling? We all want more happiness in our life. And when a man knows that you are the one who can help him achieve his life goals, when you share an incredible chemistry, and have the same views on the future, he’ll rush up to the altar.
The reason men are hesitant to marry is because they are not sure. It’s the uncertainty that everyone is afraid of. He wants to know that it’s going to work. He wants to know that you are absolutely the best one for him out there, and that he isn’t going to miss out on anything, and that if he doesn’t run to the clerk recorder’s office to make it official, someone else will.
If you are with a man who says he loves you and yet still hasn’t popped the question, you may be wondering whether he really does love you as he says. All kinds of doubt can crawl into your mind, and you may start feeling very insecure in your relationship. Does he really love me? you ask yourself. How can I tell if he really loves me? And wouldn’t he want to spend the rest of his life with me if he really did love me and thought I am the one he wants to be with?
The reality is that love and marriage commitment are two different things. A man can love a woman very much and yet not see the future with her. And if a man doesn’t see his future with a specific woman by his side, he will never marry her unless the picture of his future changes, the woman changes, their relationship changes, or some other changes take place that make your man see his future differently or see you in his future, whereas he didn’t feel that way before.
If you want your man to commit to you, you need to convey to him by your actions that the future with you will be exactly what he wants for himself in his future, but even better. In short, men opinions do matter.
As women, we often paint a picture of our future the way we see it, and often without consideration of what the man wants in his future. We see him, of course, as a part of our lives, a part of our future. And we are convinced that this is what he wants also; we wouldn’t wish him unhappiness, of course. We assume that we both want the same thing in the future, when in reality, if that was the truth, then why would any man in his right mind refuse to accept this gift?
If you want a man to commit to you, talk to him about your future together, and make sure you are both on the same page. Some men are reluctant to talk about the future, and some are afraid to tell you with complete honesty what it is they really want in the future. At times, this topic is difficult to discuss, and some men may try to avoid it altogether. Learn how to communicate with your man in an open and honest way so that he will open up to you about his future – Read This Page >>>
When you saw the title of this article, you probably said to yourself, duh, of course, I know that my man needs to trust me; and I don’t see a reason for him to not trust me; I have given him no reason to not trust me.
But wait, TRUST that I am talking about here is not trust that you have when you know someone is not going to cheat on you or steal from you. I am talking about trust in knowing that your man can open up to you and show you his ugliest side and knowing that you will not turn your back on him.
This kind of trust is hard to earn, and it comes with time. This is why you and your man need to spend a lot of time together, share thoughts, conversations and activities, and see each other in situations ranging from extreme, uncomfortable, difficult, stressful and challenging, as well as situations that are tempting.
Here is an example;
Once upon a time I went on a road trip with a good friend (platonic friend) whom I had known for a couple of years. I thought I knew him very well.
As we drove on the freeway in my car, suddenly steam started to come from under the hood. We got off the freeway barely making it and ended up stranded in the middle of nowhere in the dark. It wasn’t very late in the evening, but it was already dark. There wasn’t a gas station around, and nowhere to look for help.
We opened the hood and determined that the steam was coming from the radiator. The engine was overheating as there wasn’t any water left in the radiator.
It was December and it was very cold. We were stranded in the middle of nowhere.
Luckily I had a whole case of bottled water in the trunk. It came in handy. We started opening bottles of water and pouring it into the radiator. I was anxious and apprehensive.
My friend seemed to be feeling the same.
Instead of reassuring me and giving me confidence in knowing that he was going to handle it (like we’d expect a man), he was just as nervous as I was and seemed to have lost it.
As the engine cooled off a bit he got behind the wheel and told me he was going to drive back on the freeway so that we could make it to the nearest gas station where we could get more water, re-group, and decide what to do from there.
It made me very nervous to get back on the freeway but we made it. The next exit had a gas station right by the freeway. We pulled up to the gas station at the time when the worker’s shift was ending. They closed the doors to count the money and told us that we could leave my car key at their shop for the morning staff to take a look at my car (there was a repair shop right on the property).
Finally we got a friend to come pick us up, and the car was checked and fixed the following day.
But after that experience with my friend I thought to myself that the whole time up until the incident happened I didn’t know what kind of a guy he really was. My experience with him under extreme circumstances showed me that he wasn’t the kind of guy I would ever want to be with on a romantic level even if I was interested in him romantically (which I was not).
So, when I talk about developing trust with your man I refer to the kind of trust in knowing that you will have his back and he will have yours.
As a woman you are not expected to be the stronger party. He should be the one.
Nevertheless, your man, likewise should have trust in knowing that no matter what you will have his back too. He needs to know that in a difficult and challenging situation you won’t run away and drop him like a hot potato to seek greener pastures.
He should be able to relax around you knowing that you have his best interest at heart.
So, how do you show him this other than by artificially manufacturing a stressful situation?
You can communicate with him in a special way. Don’t worry, you won’t have to tell him that he can trust you. Rather, you can implant the idea into his mind when you know how to communicate with men in a way that makes them feel bonded with you.
There is a way to make your man trust you, and make him feel unstoppable surges of love toward you.
Have you ever noticed that your boyfriend or the guy you are dating started to act differently toward you? Like his phone calls are becoming few and far between, he doesn’t rush to the phone when you call and takes his time to return your calls and texts. He doesn’t take the initiative to see you as frequently as he used to. He starts spending more time away from you, doing other things and hanging out with the boys more. He suddenly becomes busy with work or chores, and takes more time away from you than he used to.
These are all the signs that his feelings for you are becoming less strong, and the initial spark is disappearing.
Why does it happen?
Well, to sum it up, men lose interest when they are disappointed. Here is how it typically happens:
When you first meet a guy, there is usually instant attraction, instant spark. To let this spark develop into something more, you start seeing each other frequently because you two want to see each other, spend time together, and get to know each other better in the hopes that the other person turns out to be what you want them to be.
The more time you spend together, the more you learn about each other. If the information you receive about each other confirms your dreams of the perfect mate and makes the hopes become reality, you two bond.
But, if the person, once you get to know them better turns out to be far from your dream, you start to lose interest. You may still hang out together, become complacent, but for lack of better options, you still see each other, merely for companionship, and maybe physical intimacy. But you start thinking about other members of the opposite sex, keep your options open, and explore what else is out there.
This is exactly what happens to a man when the woman he is seeing doesn’t confirm his dreams of the perfect mate for him.
If you think that your guy is the one for you, but he is starting to lose interest in your relationship, you can change it. When you know how to trigger the right emotional buttons, you can easily turn the situation around and help him see you as the one for him.
Read This Page to find out how to trigger those secret hidden emotional hot buttons to make your man feel unstoppable surges of love and romance toward you – Click Here to Learn how to make him fall in love with you with a renewed passion and desire!
At some point in our lives we are bound to experience a breakup. No one is exempt from breakups, except for maybe a handful of couples who get together very young, get married and stay together for the rest of their lives. The rest of us have and will experience a break up or a few. Breakups suck, especially when you are the one on the receiving end of a breakup. But even when you are the one breaking up with someone, there is always a sense of failure, and a sense of a loss of something that could have been and never was, or perhaps seemed to be something special at one time and turned out to be a lie.
Many people want to know though why someone would break up with them, especially when the person ending the relationship doesn’t give an explanation. They just stop calling, leaving you agonizing about what went wrong and what you could have done differently to prevent a break up. And more importantly, you just want to know what mistakes you made in the past so you could prevent a break up in the future.
In this article I want to talk about the most common reasons men break up with women (by the way, these are the same reasons women break up with men, they are universal but for the purpose of this article we will refer to men).
So, here it goes.
A man will break up with a woman when he gets disappointed in her ability to be the one he hoped she would be and to fulfill his desires he hoped she’d fulfill.
This reason is applicable to every stage of the relationship from the first date to casual dating to a serious relationship and marriage.
Let’s talk about some specifics starting with a first date.
Let’s say you meet on a dating site and go on a first date. You seem to enjoy your time together. But for some reason your guy never calls to follow up. You are probably confused, and think that you two had a great potential. Why isn’t he calling? The answer is simple; something that he determined on the first date tells him that you will not fulfill the desires he is looking to fulfill in dating (or a relationship). For instance, if he is looking to have children one day and you’ve told him that you desire no children in the future, and he is a serious man with serious intentions who is looking for a wife, he isn’t going to waste his time dating a woman who is not a wife material for him, no matter how much he enjoyed spending time with her.
Or perhaps you’ve told him during your first date that you plan on moving to another state in a few months, and he doesn’t want to start a relationship with someone when there is no future.
Or maybe (if this is a situation with online dating) he expected you to look different than what you look like in person.
Or perhaps he didn’t like the way you treated the waiter, or the way you moved, talked or laughed. I can continue this list indefinitely, but you get the idea.
So, let’s move on and talk about the reasons men dump women after dating them for some time.
Let’s say you past the first date stage. You go on a few dates and he stops calling. You think that up until that point everything was going well. What happened?
The same situation here; when you first men, he thought you had a potential to fulfill his certain desires. But after a few dates he realized that you two aren’t a good match.
Now, what about a man who leaves a woman after dating her for a long time?
Same thing here; after dating for a few months or even a few years he’s realized that you aren’t the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with.
This is because for some reason he did not see that you could meet the 3 Requirements men have for the women they marry.
You can learn about these reasons on This Page >>>
Click Here Now >>>
Ever wonder how your ex feels about you and about the breakup? Someone shared this song on FaceBook and I thought it was a fantastic insight into feelings of a man who is broken up with his woman. In this song, the singer talks about the deepest suffering of a man who is wondering whether the woman he is broken up with feels the same way as he does.
Perhaps your ex feels the same way about you and the break up and wondering if you are suffering too as much as he does. Find out how to get him back on This Page >>>
Read This Page >>> to learn how to get your ex back!
Are you wondering how the man you are dating feels about you?
Have you been waiting for him to open up and tell you about his feelings for you, but he won’t?
If so, you may be agonizing, wondering about how your man feels about you, whether he feels the same way you feel about him, and where your relationship is going.
Unfortunately, often men are not as open about their feelings as we would like them to be.
This is predominantly because men are raised to be the strong silent type, and often they don’t know how to talk about their feelings.
Moreover, they don’t have the skills to express their feelings, and a lot of times they can’t even get in touch with their feelings and are not sure exactly how they feel about you.
The good thing is that there are tools that can help you, as his woman, to make him open up to you and start expressing what he feels about you more.
First of all, you need to make him as comfortable and relaxed to express his feelings as you can.
To do so, never judge him no matter what kind of a secret he tells you.
He may be inclined to tell you about his deepest fears, or about something he is embarrassed to admit to you or to anyone else about himself.
Men do have secrets, and some of their secrets are so embarrassing that they are afraid that someone will find out.
Worse yet, they certainly don’t want to be judged by their women, or the women who are important to them. And they certainly don’t want to be judged by the women they care for and don’t want to lose.
If a man feels that a woman will judge him or think less of him because of something about him he isn’t proud of, he will certainly want to keep that a secret from her.
But you can show him that you accept him no matter what, and that will help him open up to you more and more, slowly but surely.
On this page you will learn how to make your man open up to you, and not only that, but also, how you can use simple communication to help facilitate the process of falling in love with you and help your man fall deeply in love with you! Read This Page >>>
How many times have you seen a man start dating a new woman as soon as you walk out the door?
Unfortunately it is not uncommon for a man to run to a new woman as soon as a break up happens. It’s called a rebound relationship.
Why do men do that? And most importantly, does it mean you can’t get him back?
Well, as they say, the best way to get over someone is to get under somebody else. Can this really be the case in your situation?
One of my clients said she broke up with her boyfriend because he wouldn’t commit and he was active on a dating site they met through that same evening apparently looking for someone else.
Unfortunately, some men (and some women) are just like that. They can’t stand being alone for five minutes, and so they need someone to feel good about themselves.
These people don’t take the time to grieve the loss of the relationship because it is just too painful to not have somebody with them at all times.
Especially in light of being dumped. They need to rebuild their fragile egos, redeem themselves publicly and throw their new dates in your face.
You may have initiated the breakup hoping that your man will realize what he is about to lose and will take actions to change. But he, instead of begging you to stay with him, went onto a dating site and is meeting other women while you are at home alone thinking about him.
And while you are thinking of the things you can do to get him back, he is out on a date with someone else. And what’s worse, he has added his new woman on FaceBook and is posting flirtatious comments addressing her on his wall.
He may even be posting pictures of them together having a good time, potentially at a party, a concert, or some cool fun venue you and he used to go together.
And it seems like he is completely happy with the new woman and a thought of you doesn’t even cross his mind.
Should you be worried?
From what I’ve seen, this type of behavior is only targeted to get YOUR attention. After all, if he was serious about this new woman, wouldn’t he be more careful about flaunting his new (read, fragile) relationship publicly? Wouldn’t he be more careful about protecting it and waiting for it to get stronger before putting it on a display for everyone to see?
If anything, I see this kind of behavior as a pathetic attempt to get your attention and to make you jealous. In which case, this is a good thing if you still want to get him back because this means that he is still not over you and is definitely thinking about you.
As long as your ex is doing things that would normally get your attention (provided you still care), he is not over you and the chances of you getting him back are still good.
But I get asked this question a lot; do rebound relationships ever last?
The answer is two-fold; it depends on whether the new woman he is with is up to his standards.
What does it mean?
Well, often people get into rebound relationships just to numb the pain of the breakup. That’s why they are called rebound relationships. They are meant to serve as a buffer to protect from pain.
When a relationship ends, typically both people feel loss even if the relationship wasn’t always pleasant. Of course, there must have been some problems or disagreements, and this is why it ended. But there must have been something good about the relationship. And when the good part of the relationship is gone, we feel great loss.
So, to numb the pain of that loss, people find someone just to fill the void.
The person who enters a rebound relationship with a new partner may or may not feel overly excited about that new person. But even when he is extremely excited about the new woman, that still doesn’t mean that he won’t change his mind about her later. It all depends on the other person.
If the other person is someone your ex would date under normal circumstances, than the relationship has a potential to develop into something serious. But what I’ve seen rather often is that people who are hurting in the breakup the most enter new relationships or start dating just about anyone who comes along and returns their interest. They don’t care about who the person is, as long as it is someone.
Usually those rebound relationships end quickly, and after the person on the rebound realizes that he isn’t that into the new person anyway. And if this kind of relationship lasts, it is usually not fulfilling at all, and it feels even worse being in that relationship than being completely single.
Being with a new person whom we don’t feel much of a connection with intensifies the pain of the break up, so essentially it worsens the problem instead of fixing it.
In fact, if you are broken up with your ex right now, and know that he is dating someone else, I highly recommend that you let him date that other person or even go on dates with multiple people, because if your relationship had any substance at all (which I assume it did, or you wouldn’t be reading this), he will compare everyone to you, and you will always win.
So, is there a chance that his new relationship will turn into something more substantial? Yes there is. But this will only happen if the person he is with right now is a better fit for him than you were, or at least equally compatible with him as you.
I am not talking about being prettier, thinner or sexier than her. This is one of the most common mistakes I see people make after a break up.
They compare the new person in the looks department, and then they end up questioning their ex’s choices when the woman isn’t as pretty as them.
Looks have absolutely nothing to do with whom we choose. If your ex was with you, that means he was attracted to your looks. If he is dating someone else now, this means that he is attracted to the new person’s looks enough to date her.
What matters is overall compatibility, passion, commonalities, etc.
Do they have a lot of fun together? Do they get along well or do they fight? Do they have good communication? Are they strongly attracted to each other sexually and are they sexually compatible?
One or two dates don’t mean anything. But what if your ex has been dating someone new for a while?
Is there a chance he may end up with that person and leave your relationship behind?
There is. And this is where you need to know how to go about showing him that you are better for him than the new person.
Not only that, but if he falls in love with the new person, you will have missed your chance.
What you need to do right now is to make him fall in love with you again with a renewed passion.
And I will show you how to do that, so Read This Page >>>