Before You Commit – Stop, Look, and Listen

January 28, 2010 by  
Filed under Commitment

When a woman decides to commit to a man, she gives not just her heart, but her soul and whole being as well. She surrenders her loyalty and faithfulness. She makes his needs a priority. She makes it a point to take care of him, help him with his plans and supports his goals. She encourages him when he hit rock bottom and inspires him to be on his best element. A man who is blessed with a woman’s love and commitment is truly an anointed man.

It’s just right that when a woman decides to love and commit herself, she must choose a man worthy of her love and commitment. This is only possible when she can set her standards right. And the right standards that every woman should have is find a man who can be equally loyal and faithful to her, a man who can love her for who she is, a man who is willing to provide and protect, a man who can be proud of her and let the whole world know that she is his woman.

And to make sure to that these standards are met, she should stop, look and listen before deciding to commit herself in the relationship. Not to rush things and test the waters first before deciding to dive deep. This is one secret in having a blissful and meaningful relationship.

Below are some of the scenarios you can create and questions to ponder upon to figure out just want kind of man your potential mate is, and whether he’s good enough for your unconditional love and commitment.

• How does he react when you have a problem?

For instance, your car broke down. Your stress and exhaustion are starting to show up in your face and your voice… if he asks you, “What’s wrong?” that’s a good start. It shows that he has been paying attention to know when you’re not your normal self. But when you answer him, “My car broke down and I don’t have the budget to get it fix right now so I’m just a bit worried how I’m going to get to work tomorrow,” and he answers, “Okay, I’m sure you can figure something out,” you can scratch him off. He is definitely not worthy of your love and commitment.

Be clear that you are not asking him for money to fix your car. You’re trying to see if he’s going to look deeper and find out if there’s anything he can do to help, whether to give you some advice on how to get the car fixed, or fix it himself. Did he offer to drive you to work while your car is in the shop? Or give you the number of a guy who can fix your car?

A real man gets out of his way to help the woman he cares about. If you have a problem and your man does nothing about it- he doesn’t try to make it better. He is not a good candidate for your love.

• How does he react under pressure?

Let’s say your ex boyfriend is starting to call again, and it’s making you uncomfortable because the break was just far too nasty and you just don’t want to go down that road again. You tell your new guy that you’re bothered and worried how to make your ex go away. A man worthy of you will immediately see what he can do, he can (a) make your ex stop calling, (b) make you feel safe and protected. Or he can tell you how to deal with unwanted phone calls, or may give you a few words to tell your ex to stop calling.

This is a pressure situation; it doesn’t require action, but reaction. Relationships encounter pressures time and time again, and you should know as early as possible if your new guy is ready to handle some of it.

• How does he handle bad news?

Let’s say you lose someone really close to you. A man worthy of your love and devotion will immediately offer some form of comfort and help so that you can take your time to grieve. He may offer to drive you where you want to go. He may offer to go with you to the funeral home while you see about the funeral arrangements, and extend his condolences to your family. Take note, ladies, your man is not going to sit there and let you recollect your childhood memories with the deceased. It’s not what men do. But a real man will respond with some kind of a solution. He will see what he can do to help you stop crying, because no man wants to see his girl crying. If your man is not doing anything to comfort you, if he is not offering some kind of solutions to make you feel better, then he needs to be buried away. He doesn’t deserve your unconditional love.

• How does he react when you told him “NO”?

When a man asks for sex, and you said no, his reaction to your answer will tell you everything you need to know about him. If the flowers stop coming, if the phone calls become limited, and the dating stop happening, then you have to accept that this man is in for the sex alone. You need to move on and forget about this guy. But if your refusal doesn’t deter, and he continues to woo you, then he’s really interested in you. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still interested in the sex, but he’s also interested in knowing how you feel and what your conditions about it are. This is when you realize that the relationship becomes about what you want and what your needs are… and that’s what every woman deserves.

So there you have it, ladies- the perfect way to find out if he is the right man for you. Never sell yourself short. You deserve the right man and the right kind of love.

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One Response to “Before You Commit – Stop, Look, and Listen”
  1. jeanett says:

    I like it when folks come together and share opinions.
    Great site, continue the good work!

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