Signs He Is Using You for Sex

May 22, 2015 by  
Filed under Commitment, Commitment Issues

Do you know when a man you are with has a genuine interest in you and when he is just using you for sex?

If you don’t know how to tell when a man is using you as a booty call, pay attention here because I am about to reveal tell-tale signs a man is using you for sex.

Sign No.1You always meet at your home. You never go to his area and he wants to keep it that way. He never invites you over and if he does, you go straight to his house without making a public appearance with him in his neighborhood. He does that because he doesn’t want to be seen with you, which is a sure sign he doesn’t want to acknowledge your relationship as anything more than a booty call.

And this brings you to Sign No.2he never takes you anywhere in public.

A client of mine complained that her man refused to take her anywhere constantly making excuses why he couldn’t do it – he didn’t want to be seen with her because of his ex-wife whom he still shared custody of their two kids with, he was a homebody who didn’t really get out much, and the list of his excuses goes on. She insisted that he took her somewhere, perhaps for a bike ride, so he finally gave in and they went on a bike ride, but he only did it under pressure of her ultimatum knowing that if he hadn’t taken her, the continuous and uninterrupted stream of sex he was getting would have stopped.

My point is, if a man doesn’t volunteer to take you somewhere that means he doesn’t want to be seen with you thus keeping your relationship a secret.

You may wonder why he stopped taking you places. Perhaps in the beginning of your affair he took you out and spent money on you, but once you became sexually intimate all that stopped. This is because in the beginning of your dating relationship he had to court you, so that you would consider sleeping with him, but once that started happening, he no longer needed to continue spending money and effort on you.

Sign No.3he never makes plans with you in advance.
If you ever wonder why he always seems to text you or call you on a minute notice, this is a sure sign of a booty call. This is because when he contacts you, he is looking for an instant gratification. He is horny and he wants to get some now. Perhaps he went out drinking hoping to meet someone to take home, but that didn’t happen, so now it’s 2 AM and the bar is closing, and he is drunk and horny and wants to come over for sex.

A subscriber to my newsletter writes:
“So he called me last night at 2am. He had been out with friends, some were still in the club and he was like come out and come dancing. The reason I took the call was it startled me and no one usually rings at 2am so I just picked it up without thinking. Anyway, we spoke for about 20 minutes. So we chatted a little and I was like I am not coming to meet you tonight, he said he would be in touch…. Regards, Nicole”

My response: ~ Nicole, kudos on not going over. He should know better than to call you and ask you to come over to his place at two in the morning!

If a man doesn’t make plans with you in advance, and only calls you when he is drunk and horny, and out of other options, this is a sure sign that he is just using you for sex.

Do you want to know how to turn your casual date into a boyfriend or turn your boyfriend into a husband? Read This Page

 


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Why Doesn’t My Boyfriend Want To Marry Me?

February 17, 2015 by  
Filed under Commitment, Commitment Issues

It’s a well know phenomenon – women tend to want to get married and make it official more often than not while men tend to drag their feet.

Here is a message I received from one of my readers in which she is asking this common question:

“My boyfriend and I started dating when we were 16 years old we dated on and off for several years but we were too young to make a commitment. We both married other people and raised families. We reunited over 3 years ago when we were both separated from our spouses, he had been separated from his wife for over 8 years, I had only been separated for about 6 months but was in the process of divorce. His divorce was finalized this February. We have lived together for over 2 years now and have a great relationship, we love each other very much and have a great time together, we are best friends. I am ready to get married, I want that commitment from him to build a strong and loving life together. We have talked about marriage, he has asked me what date I want to get married, and even talked to my son about us getting married. However he says he is not ready yet that he just got divorced and if it gets brought up even by someone else he get angry and starts yelling about how he is not ready yet. I am very confused at this point about his reactions, one minute he is talking like he’s going to propose and the next he’s yelling at me that he’s tired of it being brought up. I am heartbroken because I don’t know if he really wants to get married, he says he does someday but I don’t understand why he acts like this about it. I’m not sure if I should move out and get on with my life, and I don’t know if I could live without him, or just hang on to the hope that he will come around soon.”

Imagine this. You have a picture perfect relationship. You and your boyfriend are inseparable. You have a lot in common. You do things together. You enjoy each other’s company more so than you enjoy the company of anyone else or being by yourself. You can do things alone but you’d rather have your someone special with you to share those great life experiences with. You support each other’s goals and aspirations. Your sexual chemistry is off the charts. Most importantly, he is completely and utterly dedicated to you, just like you are to him. And, his desire to spend the rest of your life with you is unquestionable. He talks about it all the time and brings up the future in conversation here and there, which tells you that clearly and without a doubt he sees you in his life for the rest of his days.

But when you touch on the topic of marriage, he tells you it’s not time yet, or that a few years need to go by before he decides to make it official. And you just know that for some reason he is just putting off this conversation until another time, or avoiding it altogether.

Why does he seem so reluctant to marry you? What does marriage mean to him, and why does the marriage talk seem to make him run for the hills?

I’ve talked to many single men who are presently dating or are in monogamous relationships. The group of men I surveyed included mostly residents of the state of California. The age group was between the ages of 25 y.o. and 50 y.o.

I asked them what they thought about marriage, and whether they considered marriage in their future.

The answers varied depending on the age and the seriousness of the current relationship.

Dan, 26 y.o., auto mechanic, casually dating, says “I’d like to get married one day, but at this time I am just not ready. I am working on my career right now, and I’d like to go back to school again to further my education. Marriage requires money, and I am not in a position right now to start a family. It will be a few years before I seriously start looking for my future wife.”

Scott, 41 y.o., business executive, dating someone, says “I am looking forward to starting a family. I think my current girlfriend has a strong wife potential. She loves children, we get along great, and we’ve been together for almost two years now. The thing I don’t necessarily like about her is her religious upbringing and religious believes I don’t share. I don’t know if I feel comfortable raising children with such strong religious influence, but I don’t think that this alone should be a deal breaker. I am thinking that I will go ahead and take the plunge. Perhaps, after our two year anniversary is when she’ll be really expecting a proposal and I won’t be able to drag it out much longer. I love her, and I truly think there isn’t anyone better for me out there!”

Mike, 48 y.o., an accountant, dating, says “I’ve been married before, and I know that people can change, grow apart, and not have much in common anymore after years of being together. I hope that my next serious relationship will last for the rest of my life. I want someone to grow old with. I am looking for someone who shares the same views on life, and who wants the same things in their future as I do. I don’t know if marriage is necessarily the solution, I just want to have someone in my life to share it all with, but don’t mind getting married if I find the right woman. “

Many other men’s answers were along the same lines. The bottom line is, when a man finds the right woman, he will have no qualms about settling down. Marriage is a selfish decision after all. It’s a way to make one’s life better and more fulfilling. Why wouldn’t someone want to make their life better and more fulfilling? We all want more happiness in our life. And when a man knows that you are the one who can help him achieve his life goals, when you share an incredible chemistry, and have the same views on the future, he’ll rush up to the altar.

The reason men are hesitant to marry is because they are not sure. It’s the uncertainty that everyone is afraid of. He wants to know that it’s going to work. He wants to know that you are absolutely the best one for him out there, and that he isn’t going to miss out on anything, and that if he doesn’t run to the clerk recorder’s office to make it official, someone else will.

Do you want to know how to make him sure you are the one for him? Do you want to know how to banish his fears? Read This PageYour Guide to Marriage Commitment >>>

 


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Why Men Fall Out Of Love

March 24, 2014 by  
Filed under Commitment Issues

Have you ever noticed that your boyfriend or the guy you are dating started to act differently toward you? Like his phone calls are becoming few and far between, he doesn’t rush to the phone when you call and takes his time to return your calls and texts. He doesn’t take the initiative to see you as frequently as he used to. He starts spending more time away from you, doing other things and hanging out with the boys more. He suddenly becomes busy with work or chores, and takes more time away from you than he used to.

These are all the signs that his feelings for you are becoming less strong, and the initial spark is disappearing.

Why does it happen?

Well, to sum it up, men lose interest when they are disappointed. Here is how it typically happens:

When you first meet a guy, there is usually instant attraction, instant spark. To let this spark develop into something more, you start seeing each other frequently because you two want to see each other, spend time together, and get to know each other better in the hopes that the other person turns out to be what you want them to be.

The more time you spend together, the more you learn about each other. If the information you receive about each other confirms your dreams of the perfect mate and makes the hopes become reality, you two bond.

But, if the person, once you get to know them better turns out to be far from your dream, you start to lose interest. You may still hang out together, become complacent, but for lack of better options, you still see each other, merely for companionship, and maybe physical intimacy. But you start thinking about other members of the opposite sex, keep your options open, and explore what else is out there.

This is exactly what happens to a man when the woman he is seeing doesn’t confirm his dreams of the perfect mate for him.

If you think that your guy is the one for you, but he is starting to lose interest in your relationship, you can change it. When you know how to trigger the right emotional buttons, you can easily turn the situation around and help him see you as the one for him.

Read This Page to find out how to trigger those secret hidden emotional hot buttons to make your man feel unstoppable surges of love and romance toward you – Click Here to Learn how to make him fall in love with you with a renewed passion and desire!

 


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What If Your Guy Did THIS?

November 8, 2012 by  
Filed under Commitment Issues

I receive my fair share of e-mails from women who are confused by the behavior their men display. Today’s e-mail seems pretty interesting, as it touches on the subject that I think many women can relate to whether they are in a relationship, are dating, or are looking for The One.

If you are like most women, you can probably relate, share your experience, and exchange opinions with other subscribers.

I wonder how many of you have been in a situation similar to this, or perhaps, on the other end of this situation.

Read This Page and share your thoughts in the comment section down below this post!

Here is an e-mail from a middle-aged woman I got this morning:

Hi Elaine,

I have been reading your e-mails and purchased your books Find Your Future Husband and 16 Secrets to Becoming an Irresistible Woman which have helped me get on the right track to finding the man of my dreams and keeping him.

I am not engaged to be married to a wonderful man who is kind, generous, handsome, athletic, financially secure, educated, and is everything I’ve always wanted in a man (thanks to your books and my rigorousness in following the advice I got from them) .
He treats me wonderfully, and we generally have good open communication (I also purchased your book Men Communications Secrets Decoded so I know how to talk to him and make him open up to me).

However, something happened today that baffled me. I am not sure how to take it and how to act.

I hope you could respond to me and shed some light on this situation. Whether you decide to respond privately or share my story via your e-mail column is fine with me. In fact, it would be interesting to know what your other subscribers think of my situation and if anyone has been in a similar situation before.

I and my boyfriend went our dancing last night. He was wearing authentic pants and asked someone to take a full body picture of us so that his pants were captured full length.

This morning he texted me from work asking me to post that photo on FaceBook and tag him in it which I did. As soon as I posted it, he tagged his ex-girlfriend in that pic (even though she wasn’t in it and she wasn’t even at the dance club with us). I believe she broke up with him two years ago and is now married, but they are still friends on FaceBook.

This made me feel a bit insecure and very angry. I felt that it was disrespectful toward me. I felt subjected to public humiliation because the pic I posted of us had his girlfriend tagged in it.

I immediately thought of what my FaceBook friends would think of that. Now I don’t feel very close to him and I want to ask him why he did that. Perhaps I should tell him how I feel about it.

I think that it could be a reason for an argument or a fight and I don’t think it’s a big deal, but I still feel disrespected. I don’t want to ruin the good thing we have, but I don’t know how to approach this subject.

He also emailed me after he tagged her saying that he just wanted her to see his pants. I don’t buy it. For one, I don’t see why he would even need her to see his pants picture. Secondly, since she is on his friends list, she would see that photo in her feed anyway.
He is tagged in many of my pictures, and I am tagged in many of his. Also, our status on FaceBook is Engaged. So, why would he need to humiliate me like that by associating one of our photos with his ex? Also, why didn’t he just send her that pic through a private message if he simply wanted to show her the pants? Why make a big deal about it and do it in front of everybody?

Please, help me! I need your advice!

SandraHere is my response:

Dear Sandra,

From what I see, you should not feel insecure. You guys are engaged. He is publically displaying it on FaceBook; he is tagging you in his photos and is tagged in yours.

The only reason that I see he could have for tagging his ex in that pic is his own issues and insecurities. Perhaps he still has some residual pain due to their breakup several years ago and is feeling that he has to rub it in her face that he is now happy with someone else. It’s all about bragging and it’s making him feel better about himself.

He sounds insecure, but you shouldn’t be. If anything, he is doing this because he wants to appear worthy by showing you off. You can be proud of that. He is not hiding you. He asked YOU to post his picture, so that everyone (his ex in particular) could see the hottie he is with now (since the photo was linked to your profile).

You can simply ignore the situation. You can ask him head on why he did that (without accusing him). You can also ask him not to tag people in your photos unless they are actually in the picture. You can tell him how it makes you feel (insecure and humiliated). But all of these things would show your insecurities. However, talking openly about your insecurities make you seem more confident because someone who is insecure and is willing to talk about it is actually showing confidence. Yes, it takes guts to open up and be vulnerable. But my best advice for you is be mature. Don’t let the small things get to you.

He is proudly showing you off (even if it’s to his ex). This means in his opinion you are BETTER than she was. Yes, he is being very immature, but men do all kinds of things because of one single reason – pride.

You can help him in his mission to elevate his status by commenting on that picture. Say something like Nice pants. This will show three things that will make him appreciate you even more:

– That you are confident (because you are not getting jealous or upset)

– That you are on HIS SIDE (you have his back)

– You help him in his greatest masculine mission – elevating his STATUS

This will also show YOUR FaceBook friends that you are cool with having his ex tagged in that photo as if you know who she is and is not upset about it. Maybe she was even there at the club with you taking that photo of the two of you (no one knows that). And frankly, you are probably the only one who even noticed that she was tagged in that photo. We think that everyone is following our FaceBook updates. The reality is that most people simply don’t care. They go on FaceBook to talk about themselves, post their update and pictures. People don’t care as much as you think. So, don’t worry about who thinks what.

If that was a concern, I would honestly tell you, but from what you’ve described, it’s nothing to worry about. Insecurities and anxiety are the biggest reasons why breakups happen. And since you seem to like my books and my advice, I suggest that you check out my advice on how to build confidence in a relationship on This Page!

Sincerely,

Elaine

Now, getting back to the blog you, my dear subscribers and blog readers; what do YOU think of this situation? Please share your opinions and experiences in the comment section below!


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How to Make Him Interested In What You Have to Say

August 19, 2012 by  
Filed under Commitment Issues

Have you ever felt that you are trying to talk to your guy, but no matter what you say you feel like you are talking to the wall? If your man is not interested in what you say, you are not able to communicate with him effectively. And if you want to get your point across, and most importantly get results, you must learn how to communicate with him in a way that makes him take an interest in what you have to say, make him want to engage in a conversation and share his own thoughts and feelings.

Learning how to talk to your man to get through to him can be a challenging task, but with a little bit of guidance, it could be done.

We are here to help you understand and learn how to communicate with your man effectively.

– Listen

It seems counterproductive to learn good listening skills first, but if you want to make sure your man listens to you and takes an interest in the topic of discussion, you must first give him the pleasure of being listened to.

When you listen to him, you acquire a good understanding of what he is interested in, and in the way he communicated his thoughts and feelings. Knowing his way of communication will give you a solid understanding of how he wants to be communicated to.

Active listening needs to be practiced. What this means, is that you don’t just keep silent when he is talking, you are actually receiving the information he is sharing.
Humans have strong filtering mechanisms when it comes to communication. When one person is talking, the other is filtering out irrelevant information and hears only what he or she wants to hear, while the point the speaker is trying to make is completely different.

As a result, we fail to understand each other’s message. Thus, we are not being effective in trying to resolve our issues.

When you are listening to your partner, remember to ensure that you are actually getting the message. If not clear on something he is saying, ask him, what do you mean by that? Be sure to understand the concept behind the words, and that he feels heard and understood. Only then you can request to be listened to and to be heard in return.

When your man knows he can count on you listening and making an effort to get his point, he will be willing to listen to you. He will take a much greater interest in what you saying when he knows that your communication is a two-way street.

– Empathize

We all want to feel that when we share our thoughts and feelings, the person we are sharing with is empathetic to us.

Don’t criticize or argue, or try to make a point that your man is wrong in this particular instance. When he opens up to you, he wants to feel that you are on his side. He certainly doesn’t want to be faced with arguments and accusations. All he wants is to be heard.

When you are empathetic with your man, he will feel that you are his true partner and a friend. He’ll stop fearing that whatever he says is going to be questioned and criticized. He will then become more open with you, as well as more interested in what you have to say in response.

When you need to bring something up to his attention, he will take a great interest in what you have to say once you establish a solid foundation of positive communication.

– Don’t Nag

Nagging is the cause of major problems in a relationship. You want your man to do something and you want it done yesterday. But he is still vegetating in front of the TV with a beer and chips. What can you do to make him move and get to work?

Nagging is not going to help. If anything, it will only make damage. Instead, start doing the things you need done yourself. Once he sees that you are trying to fix the sprinkler system, he’ll feel guilty to making you do the job. Just watch how fast he will rush to help you out.

Another reason why it’s so much easier to motivate a man to do things by doing them yourself is that once he sees that his woman is doing his job, he will fell emasculated and will be immediately compelled to change that. Every man wants to be viewed as the provider and protector, the strong one who knows how to fix things. When he sees that his weaker half is trying to do his job, he will immediately stop you from doing it and will do it himself.

Lastly, a man deep down always feels superior to a woman. If you do his job, he will be afraid that you will screw up. He may not be happy about you trying to do what needs to be done and even become grouchy, but in the end, he will start doing what you want him to do.

As you see, with the right communication tools you can get any man to do what you want. As the saying goes, the man is the head but the woman is the neck. Although your man may be in charge, it is your job to navigate in the relationship.

To learn more about how to communicate with your man to make him do whatever you want him to do, Read This Page>>>


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Why Men Fall Out Of Love

July 21, 2012 by  
Filed under Commitment Issues

Men are weird, said one woman to me. One day they are in love, and the next they act as if they don’t know you. Apparently, men can fall in love very fast, sometimes a lot faster than us, women. Men, however, can fall out of love just as fast, so if you want to keep your man in love, you must know what makes men fall in love and what makes them fall out of love!

There are natural instincts which make a man fall in love, and which you can unintentionally or purposely trigger which will determine whether you will keep your man in love or drive him away with the speed of light!

Now, I decided to ask men how they feel about falling in love, and what I discovered might be of interest to you.

Hopefully, some of their answers can shine the light on the issue with men losing interest too fast.

Paul, 54 recalls a time when he fell in love with a woman very fast.

I met a woman at a social event, got her number, and we finally had our first date.

I drove to her town and we went out to dinner.

After dinner she invited me over to her place. She said she’d bake an apple pie for me.

When we got there she lit candles, and we sat down to have the apple pie. It was a small pie and it was very sweet.

After we had the pie she literally attacked me on the couch. You know me, I am a meek person. I was just sitting there with my hands folded when she made the first move.

The night went great and when I drove home I felt like I didn’t want to see any other woman and was ready to pull down my dating site profile.

I called her the next morning.

She didn’t answer the phone and I couldn’t leave a message because her mail box was full.

I took my dog to the dog park nearby and waited for her to call me back hoping that she’d see my number of her caller ID and get back with me.

I came home an hour later, ran some errands, cleaned my house, and still there was no call from her.

That afternoon I called her again. I still couldn’t leave a message so I decided to just keep calling. However, a friend of mine who stopped by suggested that I stop calling her and wait for her to call me back. He said she’d think I was a stalker had I kept calling her.

She lives about eighty miles away and I was considering going over to her house despite my friend’s suggestion to leave her alone.

I really felt that I was in love, and that it was love at first sight.

I wanted to ask her to see me exclusively. She had told me she was looking for a relationship and so was I. I just didn’t want to stop dating on match until I knew that she wanted the same with me.

I finally got a call back from her several days later! (I had to leave a note at her house to get her attention).

She said that she did not return my calls because she felt bad that she invited me over on the first date. We agreed that I would call her again on Wednesday.

I had no idea what I was going to say to her on Wednesday. I was very nervous and talked to a couple of friends who suggested that I should just tell her what I wanted, and that I wanted to see her and no one else, and to gauge her interest in a relationship with me.

I didn’t want to scare her away though.

Since I didn’t know how she felt I continued to meet women on match.

That weekend I met another woman and our date went great. She came over, brought a bottle of wine and dinner to celebrate her promotion.

Our date went great, and I was sure she could have stayed the night but I didn’t want her to as I’d had a bad experience with the first woman. I thought if I’d had this new woman spend the night she could have freaked out just like the first one and wouldn’t want to see me again.

I am now over the first one. After thinking about how much trouble it was, how much drama it involved, I wanted to have a relationship that wouldn’t require as much effort in trying to get a woman to have a relationship with me.

The new gal is a lot of fun and there hasn’t been any drama with her, so I will continue seeing her.

After I heard this story I was shocked. Wow! He thought he was in love at first sight with the first woman, and suddenly he changed his tune.

It is apparent that when a woman brings drama into a relationship, acts insecure and unsure about how she feels about a relationship, the guy won’t stick around.

Have you ever lost a guy because of this?

Did you know that men have natural instincts that dictate whom they date, whom they fall in love with, and whom they commit to?

Read This Page to learn about men’s natural instincts and how YOU as a woman can push his hot buttons to make him fall in love with you and commit to you when you have this knowledge – Read This Page>>>


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Why Men Pull Away During Early Stages Of a Relationship

July 3, 2012 by  
Filed under Commitment Issues

Early stages of a relationship are probably the most fragile time when both women and men alike are the most sensitive to each other’s little quirks and nuances. If you have gone out with a guy and have a weird feeling after a few dates that he is starting to pull away from you, and perhaps even lose attraction early on, pay close attention to the early signs that indicate that your man’s interest in a relationship is waning, because if you are still interested in keeping your guy’s interest, there are ways to gain it back fast. The key here is to understand why he is withdrawing and what is causing it, so you can adjust your behavior accordingly to what suits your relationship better.

First and foremost, you need to ask yourself whether you are sure your guy has a great potential to fulfill your desires in a relationship, and why you want to keep this man rather than finding someone who won’t require so much work to maintain a relationship with. If you decide after much consideration and looking at pros and cons that your guy is a keeper, and you are willing to put in a little work to set the stage for a good promising relationship early on, keep reading! And if you shall decide, after a careful consideration, that you would rather look elsewhere and start dating other men, trying to attract a guy who is on the same page with you, read This Page>>> instead!

Now, assuming that you still want to keep the guy who is starting to pull away from you, but isn’t completely out of your life at this stage, I have some great news for you. In order to determine what made him have a change of heart on you so suddenly, I recommend that you ask yourself the following questions:

Was there anything that I said or did that may have caused him to pull away?

Perhaps you had a little disagreement, but the reason for such disagreement was that you couldn’t see eye to eye on some bigger and important issue. An example would be a disagreement about personal values, family, spending time, lifestyle, etc.

Men know early on if the women they date have a potential for something serious or are just good for a fling. If your personal values are far too different, that could be the reason he started to pull away from you. If a man doesn’t see a potential future with you, he is less likely to lead you on. He would rather show you through his action that he isn’t planning on having a serious relationship with you than face the dreaded serious talk leading nowhere later on.

When was his last relationship and how did it end?

One of multiple reasons men pull away in early stages of a relationship is that they aren’t over their previous relationships. They start dating again after a painful breakup thinking that a new relationship will fix the giant hole in their lives left after the break up, but they don’t realize that they are nowhere near being ready for a new relationship.

It’s best in that case to let the guy alone and to allow him to straighten up his past and the wreckage of the past relationship. In this case, the reason he pulled away has nothing to do with you. You could have been the best date and a girlfriend for your guy, but not being ready for a new relationship, as well as not being emotionally available for a new start has put an end to your relationship.

Did he voice his strong opinions about something that you do or did that made him uncomfortable?

If so, it is important to recognize these issues early on in a relationship. Often, we are so caught up in the new and exciting feeling we get when we start falling in love that we completely overlook the early warning signs present in a relationship.

This doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you. This could be completely your man’s personal issues, and somehow you may have done something unwittingly to trigger and push his hot buttons that ultimately made him pull away.

Whether you can identify with any of these early signs on an impending breakup, know that if you are sure that your man is the one you want to keep, there are ways to bring him back and overcome the obstacles standing on your way to a great relationship.

Read this page>>> to learn how to fix your relationship and remove the obstacles fast!

Click here now>>>


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Why Men Do Not Understand Love

June 29, 2012 by  
Filed under Commitment Issues

Sheila was sitting in her den repeating to herself over and over, He doesn’t love me, he doesn’t love me, he doesn’t love me, how can he not love me? We’ve been dating for several months; in the beginning of the relationship he told me all the things that proved that he was falling in love with me!

He wanted to be together every waking moment. He came to see her every day, and on some days came to pick her up and to drive her to his house in the Foothills. He told her he wanted to be a couple; he wanted her to be his girlfriend. He said to her on their third date that he was falling in love with her. In fact, he said I wish we could fast-track the time so now we would have about six months together under our belt and I could tell you I love you. Oh well, what the heck, I’ll tell you anyway! I love you! I’m gonna marry you!

The next day she called her girlfriend and cried with excitement: I am going to marry this guy!

Well, said her girlfriend, I can’t tell you what to do, but you have to decide for yourself. Isn’t it a little too soon for that? I mean, I understand you are feeling like you are falling for him, but you know, love and marriage are two different things. Attraction and love are two different things. What you are feeling right now is strong attraction, but is it really enough for marriage?

They didn’t get married that day. In fact, whole that thing happened over the weekend, when the marriage license bureau was closed. It was closed till Tuesday because of the holidays.

Let’s wait till Tuesday, she said. I won’t marry you today but we’ll get married on Tuesday.

Sounds good, he replied.

He gave her that loving look; the kind of look you see in the guy’s eyes when he is falling in love with you.

You just know that look. It doesn’t have anything to do with lust. You know it’s more than lust. A lot more. It’s a true excitement men get when they know they’ve met someone special.

I’ve been waiting for you my whole life, he said. This is why I didn’t get married before. You are the one I’ve been waiting for!

By Tuesday she felt a little settled in her excitement. I think I’m gonna wait and see where this goes. That’s right, she thought, I’ll wait and see.

On the back of her mind she knew that this man was the first man who she was sure she was going to marry.

She had never felt this way about any other man before.

Fast-forward several months.

She is alone in her house reminiscing the events of the relationship and the break up. They are broken up again, and she can’t remember how many times exactly they broke up before.

The first time it happened because they had an argument. They got into a fight about some little things that didn’t matter. She was hurt.

You know that sinking pain in your stomach that you experience when someone punches you real hard?

That was the pain she felt the first time they broke up.

She crawled into a fetal position in her bed and didn’t want to get up to go to work. She called in sick.

She following day the lingering pain made her completely unable to concentrate. She was in her office staring at the wall all day. She didn’t get to do much that day.

This time it seemed easier. He was pulling away, but at least he was honest about what he felt.

He told her she wasn’t the one. He had hoped she would be, but discovered that she wasn’t.

He couldn’t commit, let alone continue with her.

But he still texted her.

Sometimes he texted her late at night. He asked her if she missed him.

And when she asked why do you want to know, he’d say, because I miss you.

Then she said, why don’t you come over tomorrow?

He said he was busy all weekend and his brother was coming into town, but that he’d come to see her the following week.

He sent her some pictures of his new truck by text, and she began to wonder why he was still sharing with her the events of his life now that they weren’t together.

Perhaps he still loved her. But what does he want? Does he want to try it again?

She looked at the previous text messages he’d sent. It was clear that he loved her and missed her. But there was something that he just couldn’t get over.

It wasn’t cheating. It wasn’t temper tantrums and angry outbursts. In fact, Sheila was a kind, even-keeled person with a great sense of humor and a positive attitude toward life.

Was there a chance she could save her relationship with the man who once was so excited about her and to bring back the love and commitment they had in the past?

It wasn’t too late. He hadn’t moved on, and he wasn’t with anyone else.

Clearly, he still cared about her and missed her a lot. But he didn’t want to be in a relationship with her anymore.

Do you love me? She asked him via text.

Its not about love, honey, he said. Love is confusing.

What do you mean? She asked

It means I don’t understand it, he replied

What don’t you understand about it?

Seems like everything. I gotta go! Text you later, he said.

He didn’t want to engage in a conversation on the topic of why he felt the way he felt.

It was disheartening to hear the words from his mouth I don’t know, honey… I don’t know what love is… I am confused… I don’t know how I feel anymore…

Love is confusing for many of us. But for men, it is even more confusing than it is for women.

Men aren’t in touch with their feelings, and they don’t understand why they feel the way they feel.

Sometimes they feel love, deep emotional attraction, excitement about the woman they love.

And sometimes they don’t.

Sheila was left to her own devices.

If she wanted to re-build her relationship, she was the one who had to do the work.

Yes, as harsh as it sounded, when her man pulled away, it had become her responsibility to bring them back together.

This is when I met her.

Devastated about losing her relationship, the hopes she had, the family she had hoped to build with him, the future she envisioned with him and for herself.

All seemed lost. Or perhaps there was still hope?

I sure thought so, because after I started working with Sheila was not only able to bring back her man, but to keep him for good. Learn what I taught Sheila on This Page>>>


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Why Men Pull Away When The Relationship Gets Serious

June 25, 2012 by  
Filed under Commitment Issues

One of the most common question I get from my subscribers is Why do men pull away when the relationship gets serious? Typically the relationship starts off great, you meet a guy, you hit it off, you begin getting to know each other, and the next thing you know, you two start spending more time together. And then suddenly he pulls away. Why does it happen just as soon as you begin to think that he is getting serious about you, and that you two are about to become a couple?

Watch this video in which I play a recording from an interview I had with a guy who tells us with complete honesty why he pulled away in a relationship when it seemed to feel right, which will give you a great insight into the mind of a man, and draw the curtains to expose the truth about what’s really going on inside when he pulls away, tells you he isn’t feeling it anymore, or simply disappears on you!

Do you have a question about your guy pulling away? Do you want to comment on the information in this video? To share your story and ask for advice and opinion from other women reading this blog, leave a comment down below!


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What is a Relationship Without Commitment Called

June 22, 2012 by  
Filed under Commitment Issues

As someone who has seen many relationships due to my line of work I can say that I’ve seen it all. Almost. And the most common question that I hear from women who want to settle down in a healthy committed relationship but seem to have trouble doing so for one reason or another is what is a relationship without commitment. In this article I wanted to summarize the characteristics of a non-committal relationship and provide some of the most common examples and definitions, so get ready to learn! And if you are a guy who accidentally stumbled across this page (since I am writing it mainly for women), please do share your thoughts on the subject in the comment section down below!

If you are not sure whether you are in a committed relationship or casual, read these signs of a relationship without commitment, and the more signs are applicable to you, the more casual your relationship is.

Whether you are looking for information in search for answers to burning questions, or are just browsing this site out of curiosity, I invite you to participate in the conversation!

So, here are the most common signs of a relationship without commitment:

– You and your partner are NOT married/engaged

– You and your partner date other people

– You and your partner do not have responsibilities and obligations of a committed relationship toward each other

– You and your partner do not have the rights of a committed relationship

– If one of you were to accept a date invitation from someone else, the other would have absolutely no business knowing about that

– You or your partner, or both of you have active publically visible profiles on one or more dating sites, and you are open to meeting someone through them

– You and your partner do not include each other in important life decisions, and each of you doesn’t consider the other when making life-changing decisions such as where to live, whether to buy a house or a condo, whether one of you should take a job that requires relocation, etc.

– You and your partner do not ask for advice or an opinion of the other when it comes to making decisions

Do you want to add to this list? I’d love to hear from you!

And here are the other names for a relationship without commitment.

Booty Call – typically a booty call will originate from a late-night horny guy looking to get laid quickly and bail. A booty call is more of a one-night stand repeated over time with the same person. There is no emotional involvement in this type of arrangement. Typically a man will assume that if the woman goes along with this type of arrangement, it is consensual.

Casual dating – typically the kind of dating that determines which way the relationship will go. This is the phase of dating when two people are getting to know each other. This is when they evaluate each other’s fitness for a potential relationship.

At this point, the relationship is not yet committed. If one or both partners are looking for a committed relationship, they are likely to explore such possibilities within their relationship. If one or both people are looking for something casual, this casual relationship will always stay casual (unless, of course, you check out my book Guide to Commitment 😉 )

Then there is also something we can refer to as hooking up and hanging out, as Toby Keith says in his song I’m just talking about tonight. This is basically a type of a relationship in which you and your guy periodically get together at his house or yours, watch movies, eat popcorn, make out on the couch and have sex. You sorta hang out, and yet, not really a committed relationship. Basically, you and your guy do not have any responsibilities of a committed relationship toward each other, and each of you has his or her own life.

I hope you enjoyed this article. If you want to add something, or leave a comment, or even ask a question, go ahead and do so in the comment section below!


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