Commitment Issues In A Relationship Why Men Do Not Commit

There is a certain necessity and requirement to know whether a person intends to commit in a relationship or not. This is important for everyone involved in the relationship. The worst thing in the world is to be in love and devoted to a person that will not commit to you and is not willing to make that ever important commitment in a relationship. This can lead to a variety of negative feelings and emotions.

There are times when people enter into a relationship with false hopes. They may believe that their partner is honest when they say that they want to be in a committed relationship. However, somewhere throughout the relationship that partner changes their mind and decides that perhaps a long-term, fully committed relationship is not for them. This can lead to a great deal of frustration and unhappiness. The person that is committed will begin to think that they are just wasting their time in the relationship and that it will go nowhere and nothing will be gained. People that cannot commit may have this problem for a variety of reasons.

The number one reason that people cannot commit is due to an emotional issue which could be something in their past. This could be something that has caused them emotional damage. They cannot get past this bad experience and they may have fear about trying to deal with this and get over it. They cannot trust anyone, especially within a relationship as long as they have these feelings and this hurt that they are harboring. The past must be dealt with before a person can ever have a meaningful relationship or a future with anyone. If this is not done, there will be continual hurt and pain that will manifest itself into any relationship they enter into.

Other people that do not commit are merely involved in a relationship as a way to have someone in their life while they are searching for something better or more suited for them. They are always looking at members of the opposite sex even when they are in a relationship. They do not care if their partner is with them or sees them doing it.

This type of behavior is extremely disrespectful and despicable for anyone. These types of people do not feel that they are with the person that they belong with. However, they are settling for a lesser relationship until they find something better that comes along in front of them.

People of this type should be avoided at all costs by those looking for a committed relationship. These people are truly afraid of commitment. People that desire that lasting relationship and find themselves with a person afraid of or unwilling to commit, they may find that they are unhappy, brokenhearted, and that they are always disappointed by their mate. These commitment seeking individuals have to make a decision as to whether they want to continue to stay with the person they are with or end the relationship and cut their losses.

Sometimes, the easiest way to know where a relationship will go is to be up front from the very beginning. Before you get seriously involved in a relationship, spend some time with the prospective partner. Talk between yourselves and be open and honest. Find out how both of you feel about a possible long-term relationship and about a commitment. This can prevent any false hopes or problems later on with confusion over what the relationship involves.

If your man is reluctant to commit to a serious relationship and marriage, Read This Page ==> How to Make a Man Commit

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How To Make a Man Open Up – Make Your Guy Excited About Opening Up and Talking To You

We all have things in our lives that affect our mood and our state of happiness. Sometimes you will notice that your boyfriend is bothered by something but he isn’t as open as you’d like him to be.

Men, unlike women, when bothered by something will want to go into their cave and hide away. They prefer to work on the solution to the problem alone until it is resolved.

As a wise woman you don’t want to keep bugging your guy with questions that only irritate him more. And you don’t want to offer solutions, because offering your man solutions will only make him feel less of a man.

A wise woman knows how to get a man to open up and talk to her in a way that is non-threatening in which he will be receptive to talking and opening up.

Deep down inside men want to be heard and understood, but continuously asking him questions such as What’s Wrong? Is Everything Ok? Will not bring him closer to you.

The worst thing you can do is to assume that the reason he is not talkative is that he is having second thoughts about you. Nine times out of ten the reasons for his silence and moodiness have nothing to do with you or your relationship. But it can be aggravated by you asking him questions he doesn’t want to hear.

So, if your man goes into his cave and wants to be alone, chances are, things in his life are a little rough right now. Don’t add insult to injury by asking him questions that will provoke anger or upset him. Learn how to communicate with your man in a way that will make him excited about opening up to you. Read This Page to learn the secrets to making your man open up to you!

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Why Men Dump Women

Do you know a sure-fire way to get dumped by a guy?

There is one certain way to drive your man further away – a woman who will never shut up!

Sure, we all love the attention…

We want to feel heard…

We love to talk about our feelings… and relationships….

And if you talk endlessly about your relationship, he will be certain to leave you very soon….

In fact, this is one of the biggest complains I hear from men ….

‘She just never shuts up…. she wants to talk about our relationship all the time…. that’s all she talks about…. ‘

And if you bring up the subject of where this relationship is going, want to ‘work’ on the relationship, or want to discuss your relationship in the hopes to make it better….’ this will magnify tenfold…. and as far as men can see, this is ALL you talk about ALL THE TIME….

And it may not feel like it to you, but he will think that all of your conversations end up turning onto the path of discussing your relationship!

Men don’t want to ‘work’ on the relationship…

They want to feel like the relationship is unfolding naturally, without pressure and ‘talking’, or ‘working’ on the relationship. If it feels like work, he will not get HIS needs met in this relationship.

He already has a job…. and he doesn’t need to feel like he has to work at home!

He wants to feel your femininity. He wants to feel comfort and safety at home.

If you become emotionally unstable around your man… if you are happy one day and upset with him the next… he will be sure to leave the relationship in which he feels like he has to walk on eggshells…

A man will NEVER commit to a woman with whom he constantly feels PRESSURE… and if you are making him walk on egg shells, ask yourself, have I noticed that he became withdrawn? And if the answer is YES… even if you are in denial… the TRUTH is that he may be on his way out!

If you go through emotional mood swings every time he is around you, he will be sure to NEVER commit to you.

And when I talk to men who are happily married, they all tell me that their current wifes had never brought up the subject of ‘where this relationship is going’….

It came naturally… and he must be the one to decide that he wants to marry you… even if you have decided that a long time ago!

As long as you understand the process of commitment, and how it grows and becomes a REAL commitment….

… and if you have already read my Guide To Commitment, you already know the biggest complaint that men have about women…. what kind of a woman men want to commit to, and how to trigger the hidden psychological triggers to make him WANT commitment naturally, without pressure and ultimatums, and how to get him lifetime commitment by simply understanding how the path to commitment works!

As long as your relationship is developing toward spending more time together, making plans and keeping them, establishing a solid foundation to lasting love and connection…. you are right on the path to commitment.

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The Truth About Storybook Romance

We love romance novels and chick flicks. The reason for it is simple – we want to have that love in our lives, but because we don’t yet have it, we love watching movies and reading books about what we don’t have.

It’s almost like an escape from the reality.

But the truth is, we all want to be a part of the fairy tale. So, what’s stopping you from finding it in your own life?

Perhaps you are single and looking for the right man, or are dating a man but you don’t feel that the level of connection between the two of you is what you are looking for in an ‘ideal man’. Or you may be in love with a man who doesn’t share the same level of emotional involvement as you do.

What can you do to change it? You’ve been reading lots of romance books; they all end with a happy ending. How come you can’t have that happily-ever-after in your own life?

The truth about romantic books is that most of them will tell you a love story of two people who fantasize about each other, and set on a path to find each other, connect and be together. But the fairy tale ends as soon as they ARE together. It doesn’t tell you what happens afterwards. It doesn’t tell you all the typical problems and disagreements that couples experience once they are together.

Learning how to deal with disagreements, learning the art of communication and learning how to understand your partner better is something that they don’t teach us in school. And once the fairy tale ends, we are often stuck looking for answers to our common relationship questions and problems.

One of the things you can do to improve communication with your partner is by putting yourself in his shoes and asking yourself, what would I not like or what would I want to improve in our relationship if I were him? How does he perceive what I do? And by doing so you may discover what will be an epiphany to you.

You may start understanding something that you had no idea about by simply putting yourself in your partner’s shoes.

Such role reversal game is something that you should do periodically just to keep in check.

Try this exercise: Remember something that took place recently in your relationship. Perhaps it was a moment when your partner seemed withdrawn. Now, picture the situation with reversed roles – what was it that directly preceded this? What were you two doing or taking about? And think how this same situation could have been seen from the other person’s perspective. Than if you find that you would have acted the same if you were him, identify your mistakes or areas of improvement and when the timing is right, let your partner know that you understand how he perceived the same situation and if necessary apologize.

Don’t be defensive and try to explain things and your actions. Simply admit that you were wrong and that you have now realized how the same situation was seen by your partner. Say it and drop it. He will respect you a lot more if you admit your mistakes and are determined to improve, than if you continue denying them.

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How To Make Your Boyfriend To Open Up More

Have you ever felt frustrated because your boyfriend doesn’t open up and communicate what’s in his mind and the things that may bother him? Have you ever found yourself puzzled when he seems angry and withdrawn but won’t talk?

Men don’t like to talk about their problems nearly as much as women do, and tend to withdraw when they encounter problems until they resolve them. And if the problem remains unresolved, the man will remain withdrawn and slowly pull away from the relationship.

If this happens often, chances are that he will end the relationship at some point. And if he is the kind of a man that doesn’t open up easily, just like most men, he probably won’t even say that he wants to end the relationship; he will simply stop calling you.

Before this happens you need to step in and learn how to communicate with your man and how to get him to open up to you.

If you want to get your man to open up more, try these tips and note how much your communication with your man will improve.

1. Use open-ended questions.

An open-ended question is one that prompts the other person to answer in his own words. An open-ended question is one that starts with what, why, how, etc. An example of an open-ended question is: what kind of things do you like to do? This kind of a question opens the doors to the other person to brainstorm and to talk about things he likes.

In a relationship, you can use an open-ended question to ask, for instance, How should we spend the next weekend? or Do you like to do anything fun this weekend?

When you are encountering problems in a relationship, you can use similar types of questions to discuss the problems and to get your man to open up. For instance, you can ask him, What was the best thing that I did for you? This kind of a question can give you a lot of insight into his mind and give you guidance on what are some things that he wants you do start doing more of.

To learn more about how to communicate with your man in a positive way that will help you two grow closer together, go to http://talk-to-men.com

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Why Independent Women Can’t Keep a Man

 If you have been following the latest trends, reading all kinds of women’s magazines and listening to you girlfriends giving you advice on how to have a relationship with your man, you know that men like independent women.

But ironically, a woman’s independence is one of the major contributors into relationship break ups.

How could that be?

See, the reason we unwittingly drive a man away is by being independent, not showing emotions in a healthy way and being aloof, as if not needing a man.

But what makes a man attracted to a woman is how she makes him feel.

And a man most of the time won’t tell you this, but he will keep track of the things you say and do.

He wants to know that the woman he is with makes him feel important.

And if he can’t feel important around her, why be with her?

Men are driven by accomplishments and success. If you are with a man, he wants to know you need him because this will show him that he is important.

So, how can you be independent and still show him that you need him without being overbearing or needy?

It’s the little things that count.

Men want to be able to add value to your life. If you can talk to him about something you don’t really understand, for instance, how to fix some minor things in your car, how to fix your stereo system, where to take your can for a break job, a good place to shop for hardware, why your computer is acting up, and many other things that you may very well know but he doesn’t necessarily know that you don’t need his help with them, he will be glad to show you and to help you.

Always appreciate when he does something for you, even if you know that you could do it better.

Don’t tell him, oh thanks but no thanks, I can do it myself…. if he wants to help you, let him.

This is how you can maintain your independence and still show him that he is needed and important.

On the flip side, do not EXPECT things from him, and don’t take him for granted. If you put it out there that you need some help moving furniture and he doesn’t offer his help, don’t expect it from him and don’t ask. If he already knows that this is something you are doing, and yet fails to offer his manly hand, perhaps you should re-consider if he really is the guy for you.

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The Ultimate Guide to Commitment Phobic Men

Commitment phobic men are masters at deceptively keeping you hooked on them.

Just about every woman has dated at least one commitment phobic man in her life. They are the ones who keep you waiting for the day they’ll finally agree to live with you or marry you or commit exclusively to you. But they never do. When you meet them they are hard to resist because they compliment you and appeal to your vanity. And they lie. They lie about being in love with you, they lie about wanting to date you long term, they lie about not wanting just a sexual fling. And they don’t care.

Here are examples of Commitment Phobic Male Behavior:

You date for one week and he tells you he loves you, the next week you never hear from him again
You date for a month and he tells you he only wants to date you, then you find out a friend saw him flirting at a party with someone else…the night he was too tired to go out with you
You live with him for 8 years and he still won’t marry you
He still doesn’t call you his girlfriend and sees his mom more than he sees you, after one year of dating

Commitment phobic men are men who cannot commit to you with the emotional intimacy of marriage or living together because they are emotionally attached to someone or something else that makes emotional intimacy with you impossible.

I know you’re thinking right now, “But how can I avoid these men when I don’t know if a guy is commitment phobic until after we’ve dated for weeks or months?

Actually, it’s easy to spot a commitment phobic man when you first meet him, just by talking to him for a short period of time, before you even date him. You just need to know what behavior traits to look for. You must focus on certain signs a guy gives you that are indications of commitment phobic problems. These “red flags” are glaringly apparent when you know what they are. But even if you know what they are, you must summon the inner strength to ignore a commitment phobic man’s charismatic charm, the appeal of his compliments, and your codependent desire to care for him.

Don’t even give a guy like this a chance by dating him even once, if it’s possible. Once you date him, he’ll trap you with his bag of deceptive tricks, and manipulate you into feeling a comfortable false sense of emotional intimacy by telling you “You’re the woman I’ve always dreamed of finding”.

It’s important to know the ploys and manipulative behavior of these men. They have the ability to make a woman feel a “codependent” need to take care of them by appealing to her need to feel special by taking care of others. They paint themselves as helpless victims of past love relationships, past failed jobs, and parents who abused them; and this makes a woman feel vulnerable to wanting to “fix” their lives and be the one to finally make them happy.

If you were the one in your family tending to the emotional needs of your parents or siblings, you will be easily lured into the world of a commitment phobic man. I highly suggest you read books on codependency by Melodie Beatty and learn what codependency is. It’s important to know if you are susceptible to the charm of commitment phobic men due to your codependent behavioral upbringing.

Commitment phobic men hide behind a persona of charm and adulation towards women that completely camouflages how they truly feel inside. Behind the charming façade of a commitment phobic man’s outer persona, is a man who wants to control, deceive and abuse women. They are unhappy with their lives and often blame a woman in their past for ruining it. Of course, this blame started with their mother, and has now transferred onto another woman in their life. But usually they don’t realize the first seed of hatred towards women, and desperate neediness of them, started with their mother.

These men don’t trust women, like women, respect women or admire women – they hate them. Many of these men are victims of verbal and sexual abuse as children. They have mothers who made their lives miserable, and now they will let out their anger and resentment on you.

When you first meet a commitment phobic man, he will have certain behavior traits that creep into his facade of adulation towards you. It’s important to see these traits as red flags that signal how potentially disastrous dating a man like this can be. These initial behavior traits may seem innocent enough, but they are telltale signs of bigger problems to come. I call them 1st Stage Behavior Traits because this is the behavior you can detect when first meeting or dating a commitment phobic.

1st Stage Behavior Traits of Commitment Phobic Men:

Behavior Trait #1: He will single out insecure women who need attention and compliments to feel good about their life. Then he will say something to a woman that is slightly inappropriate about how sexually alluring she looks. This helps them find the woman who will put up with their problems because her self worth is tied up in someone else’s opinion of her. This is the kind of woman they can control. The woman who doesn’t walk away in disgust is their next victim.

Behavior Trait #2 He will keep the truth about his past life, his finances, his past relationships, his relationship with his mother, and how he truly feels about commitment from you. The real him will be well hidden from your outer view. Most commitment phobic men have deep feelings of shame about themselves and their life and they will hide that shame by doing things to cover up the truth about their life.

One commitment phobic guy I dated didn’t have a decent car, so he used his mother’s car to impress me, but never told me he was using her car until a month of dating him. Another guy I dated took me out to an expensive restaurant on a first blind date and constantly tipped the waiters with large bills. Then I realized on the 2nd date he really couldn’t afford to be so extravagant when I saw his “down and out” apartment lifestyle. He had to give me a false impression about having lots of money, as if that one night would cloud my ability to see his dismal apartment.

There is nothing wrong with a guy wanting to impress you on a date by taking you to a nice restaurant or driving his parent’s car. But there is something wrong with a guy deliberately presenting himself as someone he isn’t just to keep you from knowing the real him. If he has to keep facts about his life from you, he isn’t honest, regardless of the reason he’s doing it. Unfortunately many women who first date commitment phobic men catch a deception, and then they make excuses for why he did it. They don’t realize that once you accept any deception, you will be dealing with bigger lies and secrets to come.

Behavior trait #3: You can never have a conversation with him about what his relationship goals are. He’ll act uncomfortable, and sometimes visibly annoyed. If you sense he isn’t open to a future that includes the kind of commitment you are looking for from a man, don’t consider dating him. Men who won’t commit in relationships will show you by their facial expression and behavior, when you bring up the subject of commitment that it’s one subject they don’t care to discuss. You must realize he has commitment issues when he freezes up when you talk about what you are looking for in a long term relationship. And if he tells you he never wants to get married, he’s doing you a big favor. Believe him and don’t think you can change him, regardless of how much he tells you “you’re the woman of his dreams”. Don’t even consider being the one who’ll be that loving wife he never found. Remember this: with commitment phobic men, it’s not only what they say that matters; it’s their attitude about certain subjects and what you sense they are keeping from you. It’s that unsettling feeling in your gut that this guy isn’t being totally honest with you.

If you do continue to date a guy like this, you’ve accepted behavior that already sets the tone for how he’ll continue to treat you, which will be all about what matters to him. Many women feel it isn’t their right to talk about their relationship needs when they first meet a guy. They feel they will scare the guy away because he’ll immediately think they want to marry him. Wrong! This is the time you must talk about what you want in life. If you don’t tell a guy you want to get married and have kids one day, you will give up your right to expect to get it down the road as far as he’s concerned. Commitment phobic men don’t waste their time with women who declare confidently that they want to get married and have kids. It’s the surest way to watch them disappear.

Behavior trait#4: Another surefire sign that a guy is a commitment phobic is when he will never do anything on time and will always change the time and day of your date or be late for your date. He will also never agree with your suggestion about the date. If you make a decision about the movie you want to see or the restaurant you want to go to, he will want to try a different one. If you accept this behavior, he will continue to act controlling with you, by never focusing on pleasing YOU in the relationship. Of course, you may not notice these first signs when he keeps telling you how beautiful you are and how he can’t wait to make love to you. You won’t be annoyed that he’s always late when he flatters you all the time, right? He is setting up control in the relationship; one that gives him the right to dictate to you what the terms of the relationship will be. And those terms will not include committing to you.

Behavior trait #5: He will make you feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet. He will shower you with his desire for you and give you compliments to an extreme. He will tell you that you are the only woman who understands him, makes him feel such intense attraction, and that he knows he will fall in love with you because you are the woman of his dreams (if he isn’t in love with you already). This is all to distract you from getting to know the real person behind those compliments, seeing all those deceptions and false pretenses.

Behavior trait #6: He will have a dependent personality which means he will need you to take care of him and he will only appreciate you when you do things for him. He will paint himself as a victim of life with bad luck and bad, cruel women. “Thank god he’s finally found you” will be his motto. That is, until he gets bored with you and moves on to someone else. And even if he doesn’t, he’ll never commit to you or fulfill you emotionally. He will lump you in the pile of all those other cruel women who never understand him or care about him. And all you will feel when he moves on is how much you were used and unappreciated.

It’s easy to spot a commitment phobic man when you notice these behavior traits. Usually the first behavior trait is hard to detect until you’ve dated him for awhile and realize the real truth about his life and his past. But the other behavior traits show up immediately: his constant barrage of compliments and making you feel like you are the woman of his dreams; his first comment to you being inappropriate about your physical appearance (or inappropriate touching); his victim mentality about past relationships; his reluctant, almost angry attitude about talking about commitment in a relationship, his constant control of how you both spend your time together by always being late and wanting to change plans and never letting you decide what to do on a date.

These behavior traits may seem harmless and insignificant, but they are red flag signs of serious trouble to come.

See the signs, and when you do, close the door on his opportunity to date you. You deserve a man who offers you so much more.

Beth Cofone

Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Ultimate-Guide-to-Commitment-Phobic-Men&id=2708064] The Ultimate Guide to Commitment Phobic Men

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Commitment Phobic Boyfriend. Is Your Boyfriend a Commitment Phobe?

You may be asking yourself, is my boyfriend a commitment phobic? And what is a commitment phobe anyway? Some will even say, all men are commitment phobics. It’s true that men do get this bad rap of “not being able to commit” to one woman.

This post contributed by a guest blogger analyses commitment phobia and the signs of a commitment phobic. Written by a woman this commitment phobic analysis may give you some serious food for thought. Ask yourself, is my boyfriend displaying some of these commitment phobic signs? Do you think some of the commitment issues described by the author are present in your boyfriend? Perhaps this can help shine the light on your boyfriend’s fear of commitment.

I have to say, I am probably one of the worst commitment phobes to ever exist on this planet. I was held as a child, I’m not a whore nor a player, and I’m not some flaky person. After some thought and reflection, I came up with some of my own personal perceptions vs truths about my own commitment phobes.

1. Perception about commitment phobic: I don’t like it when people make a big deal about anything. You know, when you announce something new to people and they go “OMG, WHAT?!” and they start looking at you like you did something totally unheard of and you now must be looked at and gossiped about. I honestly hate it. I guess it’s because I’m pretty self-conscious. I like to be known for my achievements, but I hate it when people just PUSH me into the spotlight about my personal life. I guess you could say that I’m pretty introverted when it comes to my personal life.

Truth about commitment phobic: No one cares. It’s inevitable that people will be surprised at first especially if you’re basically to yourself or if it’s BAM, unexpected. But, this isn’t middle school anymore. We have learned that yes, guys do not have cooties. So, if you’re like me and you just would rather have people stay out of your business, then don’t act like it’s such a big deal and shrug it off. People will just accept it as a part of your daily life. I had to seriously work up my confidence to rock a full face of makeup everyday. It’s because I hated it when people just stared VERY AWKWARDLY into my face and go “IS THAT EYELINER?!” Yes. Yes it is. Now get out of my face.

2. Perception about commitment phobes: I am a workaholic. Yes, a full fledged workaholic. Any relationship will get in my way of schoolwork and I will fail. Basically, I can’t handle 2 relationships at one time.

Truth about commitment phobes: I have pushed away guys who wanted to date me because well, once school kicked in, I got very busy. I have yet to find how some people in my school are able to have a life and yet be valedictorians. I think that it has something to do with being able to just separate your mind into two entities, one for work/school and the other for your life. I haven’t been able to do that. But I’m trying!

3. Perception about commitment phobes: I am a micro-analyzer. I look for flaws, little idiosyncrasies that define a person and decide that I hate them and they need to conform to my standards. I can be tough and uncompromising. Excuse my language but I can be so harsh and critical. I know that right now I’m going to squish two things into one, but they mesh so well together that you guys forgive me right? It’s difficult for me to let my guard down and really let people get to know me.

Truth about commitment phobes: I think that the micro-analyzing has to do with not being able to let people into my life. I know people who are super nice at first, but once you get closer to them, they’ll just try to slip away because well, they feel too trapped. Oh my goodness this is like Book for Dummies- How to be a commitment phobe. But yes, it’s true. I have issues trusting people that and so I know for a fact that I push people away as soon as they start to wander into the “very close” territory. It’s terrifying. So next time someone tells you that they can’t commit because they can’t trust people? Know that it can actually be a problem. How to deal? I’m trying to get over the fact that people won’t make a big fuss over everything unless you let them so trying to trust people will be the next step for me.

4. Perception about commitment phobic: I am the biggest perfectionist on the face of this planet. Everything needs to conform to my standards and reach my personal moral code. I have issues with people not doing what I say or want them to do.

Truth about commitment phobic: Okay, now this one I think I am almost successful in dealing with. After hurting a whole lot of people because they don’t reach my standards of working or well, anything else, I’ve come to realize that you can’t expect people to do exactly what you want because they aren’t you. They aren’t mind readers. Also, you need to realize that you have to trust people to do what you asked. Unless they are truly incapable of doing something or completely untrustworthy, those people will come through for you. It takes some blind faith and it’s terrifying. But ultimately, it’s good for you. It takes a whole lot of scary steps to build up trust with a person and a strong relationship is based off of trust, right?

Honestly ladies, I can’t pretend to be some sort of Dr. Phil-esque relationship genius. I have so many issues with my own personal life that it’s kind of stupid for me to try to give you some serious advice about what to do with your problems. All I can do is to put my problems on display and hope that you realize that yes, there are other commitment phobes like you and yes, you can battle this too. I think that if you closely analyze your own reasons for not being able to commit, lest even make the first step, you could possibly see that everything is just a cycle. I hate being fussed over, so I don’t trust people to just accept things and move forward in a normal fashion. I also am extremely serious about my work so I don’t trust people enough to be able to accept my workaholic nature and well, work with it instead of against it. This leads to me micro-analyzing because I, like every other woman, seek perfection. This leads to me pushing people away as soon as I realize that they aren’t perfect. It’s horrifying now that I’m reading this to myself.

Ladies, I wish you the best of luck. We are all in this together. If you have serious issues with trust and commitment, talk to yourself. Find out what’s holding you back. I’m still on my journey and I know that it can’t be quite painful trying to open yourself up to others, but I’m sure that it’ll be worth it.

Post Contributed By http://prettychinadoll.blogspot.com/

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How Early Age Development Could Cripple His Ability To Commit

Attempting to define the period of middle age is similar to attempting to place a specific time table on a period of history.

There are many opinions, and many disagree on when it begins or ends. Some theorists believe that lower-class people experience mid-life event at an earlier age than do middle-class people; thus, it may be wise not to tie the stages of adult development to a specific timetable (Farrell and Rosenberg, 1981).

Parental considerations are a must when dealing with the single, middle aged male. If the parents are more dependent and have aged poorly, or if they are in need of physical attention, the male may begin to see himself as becoming middle aged. This may be particularly true of the single male because of focal issues.

A single man may tend to have a greater focus of attention on his parents than a married man with children; however, a man with children may enter mid-life awareness as a result of an occurrence related to his family of choice (wife or children). As earlier noted, these transitions may occur as a result of life-cycle change or as a result of crisis.

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Is He Giving Her Mixed Signals? Guys Giving Women Mixed Signals

Have you ever been with a guy who seems to be giving you mixed signals? You know, when one day everything seems great, and the next, he pulls away, doesn’t call you and doesn’t respond to your phone calls? Here is an e-mail from a reader:

Hi Elaine,

This guy I used to date is giving me mixed signals. I don’t understand if he is playing games or if he is just not interested. Sometimes I think if he was just not interested than why won’t he just tell me? Why does he keep me hanging on?

Thank you,

Katie

Dear Katie,

You didn’t explain in detail how exactly he is giving you mixed signals and what you mean by mixed signals. One thing I know for sure – guys don’t intentionally mislead you. If he is loving and caring one day and the next day he doesn’t call you, this is just bad manners. You may want to reconsider how much importance you place on this relationship. If, on the other hand you have just started dating, he is just taking it slow just like most any guy I know. You know, guys don’t usually jump into a serious relationship after a few dates, except those men who are insecure and needy, and who need constant re-assurance.

I explain in depth the dynamics of a relationship development in my Guide To Commitment. But I wanted to briefly mention that the way women and men see the development of a relationship varies greatly. We, women tend to make up our mind about a guy rather quickly. Men, however, come to view relationships from a completely different standpoint, which is covered in Guide To Commitment. Of course this response is brief and doesn’t even scratch the surface of what this Guide covers, but I wanted to briefly mention so that you understand this. He is taking his time.

You may be wondering just when will he make up his mind? It really depends on the guy, the woman and the relationship they build together, but it is critical to understand that you can’t pressure someone into committing to you sooner than they are ready. You have to be on the same wave length. A relationship should unfold naturally, without pressure on either part as I say in Guide To Commitment.

Sincerely,

Elaine

So, this is the question and answer. Do you have an opinion about this? Have you ever been in a situation with a guy who is giving you mixed signals? Please, leave a comment in this post if you would like to share your experience, stories, and opinion.

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