What That Means When You Stop Hearing From Him

I get a lot of e-mails from women (and men as well) asking me why would someone they’ve gone out on several dates with suddenly disappear or gradually vanish in thin air?

The very obvious explanation is that the person who stops contacting us is not longer interested in us. But obviously we don’t see it that way, so we keep making up excuses for them in our head because the loud and clear message is just too painful to accept.

Yes, it is painful to admit that someone we are interested in is not interested in us in return especially after we have time and feelings invested in that person.

We think that unless we hear from the horse’s mouth that they don’t want to see us anymore we should not assume that they have lost interest.

So, why won’t they just tell us? For one, someone we hardly know does not always feel (and most times they don’t) that they owe us an explanation.

Unless you are boyfriend/girlfriend, it is unreasonable to put them on a spot and demand an explanation after three or four dates. Dating does not equal a relationship. When we date, we meet up with a purpose to get to know the person and to determine if we want to see them for another date. If after three dates a person decides that he does not want to see someone for a fourth date, there is no reason they should be held liable for an explanation. They’ve simply decided after three dates that this is not going to work.

Calling them and confronting them will be of no use. It’s just as pointless as asking a person on a dating site why they don’t want to date us. In any case the answer you will receive if you were to ask would not please you.

Worse yet, getting an answer to your question as to why someone has rejected you can often lead to conflict, arguments, attempts to change their mind, tears, and other very negative consequences. So, why in the world would we want to put ourselves through so many unpleasant emotions when it is so much more painless to just disappear hoping that the other person gets the hint?

If you are on the receiving end of such disappearing act, you are probably mad thinking that they must have given you an explanation as if they owe you one. But really, think about it! Would that make you happy to have been rejected straight in the face or would it be easier for you to get a great deal of confusion but no insults and put-downs such direct rejection represents?

And it certainly is easier for the rejector to let you down easy rather than explain to someone they barely know after a few dates and whom they’ve already decided not to see again why they decided not to see them again.

Worst case scenario, the person who is rejecting another will lie and to make up the reason for the rejection. They can say they are still not over their ex and don’t want a relationship; they can make up a lie that they are actually getting together with the ex; or they may make up a lie that they are just too busy and do not have time for a relationship or don’t want a relationship at this time.

All these things mean one thing really – they do not want a relationship with the other person and they make up white lies to lessen the pain of the rejection.

But you may be saying, I felt such intense chemistry and connection; we seemed to have so much in common, etc. That can’t be the case with me!

If you think this situation does not apply to you, and you are just different, and this can’t be applicable to you, and you want to get the guy back even if you weren’t boyfriend/girlfriend but rather dated casually, check out my other page on How To Get Him Back == > Click Here To Read!

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How To Make a Man Fall In Love With You

How to make a man fall in love with you – while there is a lot to learn about men which can’t be covered in a two minute video or a seven page report, I hope that these tips will be of help!

Thank you everyone who came and read the report. I got lots of emails and positive feedback on it. Taking it down now.

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How To Find True Love

If you are tired of dating, tired of going out on a lot of meaningless dates always ending up bad, tired of meeting men you have no chemistry with, or meeting men who you do have chemistry with but who for some reason don’t follow up, tired of dating the wrong men, tired of getting involved with men who never want to take the relationship to the next level, and tired of getting into a dating relationship only to get hurt and burned again, read this article because I wrote it for you.

I know how frustrating it could be when you look for love and not finding any.

At some point you may start to think that there must be something wrong with you.

But trust me, as a dating and relationship coach who has worked with hundreds if not thousands of women (I’ve lost count), I can tell you for sure – IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!

And right in this article I want to tell you my personal secrets on attracting the true love into your life once and for all!

If you are sick and tired of dating, the information you will find on this page will give you a SHORTCUT to finding the MAN OF YOUR DREAMS!

The One Challenge That Stands On Your Way Of Finding The Man Of Your Dreams

If you are like most women who are presently single and looking, you don’t want just any man. You want the right man.

The good news is that right now, there are many great single men to choose from.

The bad news is that with so many single men to weed through it is extremely hard to find that rare man who is THE RIGHT ONE!

So, the number one secret to finding THE RIGHT MAN for you is to know exactly what you are looking for.

I know it may sound like common sense to you, but TRUST ME, if you think you know what you want you will be surprised to find out that many women know what it should feel like when you find that man, but at the same time we can be very vague about what that man has to be and represent in order for us to experience that feeling.

If you are not clear on what makes you feel a certain way about a man you need to really sit and think about it.

Is it his looks? Is it about his confidence? Is it about the way he treats you? Is it about him being attentive? Is it about doing things together? Is it about him sharing the things that he loves with you? Is it about him being responsive and accountable, and always calling you when he says he will?

What is it that you want your ideal man to be?

Once you figure out what you want, it will become easier to find what you are looking for.

It may not be that he’s got a great job and a fast car, but you will know what it is that makes you feel good when you are with a man.

Look for those things, and not the materialistic check marks on a piece of paper.

Perhaps the man you are looking for is much closer than you think.

In my book Find Your Future Husband I teach you exactly how to find the exact kind of man you want and who is also right for your relationship.

I get many emails from women who tell me they’ve read the book, met the man and started a relationship. I get lots of emails from women who actually have been in relationships and even gotten married after they read that book.

So, if you haven’t gotten your copy yet, I encourage you that you learn more about this program and you can read more about it on This Page >>>

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Ways To Make a Man Fall In Love With You

One of the most frequently asked question I get from women is ‘how do I make a man chase me and fall in love with me?’

It doesn’t matter if you have just met a guy and want him to take active interest in you.

It doesn’t matter if it’s your boyfriend who seemed to be pulling away.

It doesn’t matter if it’s your husband who is starting to act indifferent and disinterested toward you.

You can bring your man close to you NO MATTER WHAT! 

Read this page to learn how to == > Make Him Fall In Love With You

And right in this article I want to give you 3 strategies you can use right away to instantly become more attractive to any man!

1. Stop trying to impress him and enjoy your relationship in the moment.

Too many times we use the wrong strategies when we try to get a man attracted to us. Trying too hard to impress a man is a transparent game that men see through.

The easiest way to impress a man and make him take an active interest in you is by being yourself.

I know, this is no rocket science and you’ve heard it before.

But if this is the case, how come so many single women still try so hard to impress a man?

When you try too hard, a man will see it.

When you try to show off your smarts, brag about your career and accomplishments, show him your possessions, dress up in the latest and greatest fashion and designer labels, he will see through it.

What he is going to think is  – wow! She’s trying too hard. I wonder why she feels the need to try so hard to impress me. I wonder if there is something wrong with her that she has to work so hard to get a man.

2. Take pride in who you are without constantly competing with other women.

There is nothing wrong with being competitive when it comes to career, education and sports. But competing with other women for the man you want is the fastest way to repel a man. When you feel the need to compete with others what you are saying to a man is that you aren’t good enough, and have to prove yourself in order to get his love.

Men are preprogrammed to compete with other men in order to get women. When you start competing with other women for a man this sends him an instant signal – there is something entirely wrong with this relationship; it just doesn’t feel right.

The good news is that once you stop trying to compete with other women for his affection he will feel that there is something different about you. He will become curious about you, and he will want to know more about you.

He then will want to spend more time with you and to get to know you better. He will think, ‘hmmm, there is just something different about her; I don’t know what it is, and I can’t put a finger on it; but I want to invest more time in her and explore it further.’

3. Stop playing repulsive mind games.

When you play ‘hard to get’, or ‘mind games’ men know it.

When you play hard to get what you show a guy is that you aren’t good enough to genuinely attract a man, and that you are so ashamed of yourself the way you are that you have to pretend to be something you are not in order to hook a guy.

Your good intentions become a ‘hidden agenda’ as far as he is concerned. And sensing a ‘hidden agenda’ is the greatest men repellant.

There are many men attractors and men repellants. If you don’t know what they are, chances are you will get them wrong or at least some of them mixed up, and in an attempt to attract a man may use the things that actually repel him.

To find out more about how to be the woman of his desire, read this page == > How to Attract Men

If you want to learn:

-          Why men pull away when they start to get close to a woman and how to overcome this most common relationship killer which will otherwise kill your budding relationship

-          How to instantly gain more respect from a man and encourage him to listen and to understand you

-           One simple mindset that prevents women from truly attracting and connecting with a man on a deep emotional level

-          Why men pull away in long-term relationships and the single biggest reason why relationships fall apart

-          Why some women achieve deep long term commitment with men effortlessly and some women struggle moving the relationship to the next level

-          Why some women suffer a lot more due to a break up than others – it has nothing to do with the level of attachment or the length of a relationship, but it has to do with one simple practically technical matter that we have complete control over

-          One thing that creates a level of intimacy more so than the physical – if your relationship lacks that it’s deem to a failure

-          How being an ‘independent’ woman who has her own full life can kill a relationship or prevent it from getting to the next level

Read this page == > How to Attract Men

You will also learn about:

-          18 men repellants – if you display any one of these, every one of your relationships will die no matter how hard you try to save it

-          13 men attractors you must possess if you want men to feel at ease around you and want to be with you

-          What makes a woman irresistibly attractive to a man

-          One trait very few women possess that makes a man notice her as someone very special and how to develop it

… and there is more….

So read this page == > How to Attract Men

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How To Make a Man Fall In Love With You Do This One Thing To Make Him Fall For You

If you want to make a man fall in love with you it may seem like a daunting task at first when you don’t know exactly how to push his hidden psychological triggers, those hot buttons that make any man fall in love with you.

This is why I am going to tell you right on this page what it is that men need to fall desperately and hopelessly in love with a woman.

The best thing is that every woman already has the hidden power to make any man fall in love with her. If only you learn how to discover those hidden powers within yourself, your man will fall in love with you forever!

Click Here To Read>>>

All too often we get confused not knowing what he wants and how to get his love.

So, Let’s look at the process of how we fall in love to understand what a man needs in order to fall in love with a woman.

The initial stages of love are rose-colored. This stage is called ‘infatuation’.

Without the initial infatuation the relationship is doomed.

But when we refer to ‘infatuation’ or ‘falling in love’ we fail to realize that the initial chemistry and physical attraction is not enough.

The feeling of falling in love is intoxicating. You feel as if you were walking on clouds. You feel happy. You want to be a better person for another.

The man feels the same. When a man falls in love he wants to be a better man for the woman he loves.

The woman becomes his inspiration.

I remember my man kept telling me he wanted to work harder and be a better man because he knew he wanted to have a family with me.

When your man feels the initial feelings of attraction, you, as a wise woman know how to turn his initial physical attraction into curiosity that grows into deep emotional attraction. 

Lack of emotional attraction is the major reason why men pull away in relationships.

When a man pursues you in the beginning he does so because he feels the “physical chemistry” or “physical attraction”. You can also call it “sexual attraction”.

A man can feel sexual attraction for almost any woman as long as she’s got boobs and a butt. If you don’t think this is true – ask men and they’ll tell you.

What goes beyond the physical attraction is another story.

A woman who is successful at capturing a man’s attention on a deep level emotional attraction gets the ring on her finger.

Going from the initial physical attraction to a deeper emotional attraction can seem a difficult task for some women. The root of the problem is in lack of understanding how male attraction process works.

For a man, unlike for a woman, purely physical attraction does not equal emotional attraction. Rather, a man, as a hunter will pursue you because there is a ‘prize’ at the end of the chase.

If you, during the courtship phase are able to ensure he develops an equal emotional attraction toward you, you will keep him forever!

If not, he will always see you as a casual girl versus a wife material.

If you are having trouble transitioning your relationship smoothly and naturally from the initial shallow physical attraction into strong and deep emotional attraction and bond that grows into love that lasts a life time, I invite you to look into my program that teaches you how to do exactly that – Click Here Now To Read!

If you find yourself constantly caught in bad relationships; if your relationships seem to “stop” and not move forward after men get what they want; if you have trouble moving from a casual relationship into a deeply bonded and committed, you need to read this page>>>

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The Perfect Booty Call |Can a Guy Be a Booty Call

Why is it that when we say ‘booty call’ we most frequently refer to a woman? Can’t a guy be a booty call? Of course a guy can. Watch this funny video! Have you ever had a guy/booty call? Or, if you are a guy, have you ever been a booty call? Would love to hear your story – watch this video and leave a comment below!

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How To Make a Guy Uncomfortable On a First Date

I don’t know why this story came to mind; perhaps because I get a lot of questions concerning a first date from my subscribers, but I thought I’d share this story and see what you guys think. Feel free to leave a comment down below.

When it comes to a first date, there are no strict rules to follow. Of course there are things you can do on a first date to ensure a second date, and I get more in depth on that in my book Find Your Future Husband, but in this article I wanted to address what you should not do on a first date, and in particular – you should avoid making your date uncomfortable.

Here is how a woman made this guy feel very super uncomfortable on their first date.

A cute guy was sitting at a bar next to me and my friend. He was jittery and for some reason he started a conversation with us (myself and my male friend). It turned out that the guy was waiting for his Internet date to show up. He told us he was nervous as it often is with first dates.

His date showed up. She was attractive in my opinion, but I could tell by the expression on the guy’s face she wasn’t what he had expected. And by the way, here is how to tell if the guy is attracted to you or not – is he smiling? What does his body language say? What do his eyes say? These are all signs you can’t miss if you know what to look for.

In any case, with this guy – he didn’t smile when he saw his date; in fact there was this expression of a surprise that quickly came on his face and went away. I could tell that he tried to not show his slight disappointment.

When his date showed up she approached to kiss him on a cheek as a friendly gesture. He leaned back and away from her as the first impulse but realized he shouldn’t have shown his slight disappointment.

Not only did his date fail to recognize his body language, she appeared rather pleased with the first impression he had made on her to the degree that she handed me her iPhone and asked me to take a picture of the two of them.

I could see the nervous jerking smile that came across his face. His date literally climbed onto his lap, embraced him with both arms and prepared to pose for the picture.

I took a snap shot and was ready to hand back her iPhone when she said, “take some more” and went onto posing and making all kinds of facial expressions – happy, smiley, sexy.

“You should upload them on your FaceBook” I said jokingly.

“That’s exactly what I am going to do” she said.

Sure enough, the next thing she did was upload those pictures on her FaceBook!

When she went to the bathroom the guy said “whew!” Other than that he was out of words.

So, my male friend cheered him up “well, at least you can tell for sure you are getting laid tonight”.

“Yeah” the guy said.

Ok, the moral of the story – hmmmm….. what do you think of this?

Like this story? Share it on FaceBook!

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He Lied About His Age Is It a Deal Breaker

It’s easy to be dishonest in your dating profile and there are some folks who fully take advantage of the anonymity of the Internet dating.

Some of the biggest lies I have encountered on dating sites is exaggerating the height, embellishing the income, and lowering the age by as much as 10 years!

While body type is subjective, and what one perceives as athletic and toned appears to be big and beautiful to another, or slim to one can mean average to another, the age is really what it is – if he is born in 1965 that makes him 45 years of age, not 37 and not 42; forty five!

How hard is it to do the math?

It could be very frustrating to find out that the man you’ve been seeing in the hopes to marry him one day and have a bunch of kids together is in reality 52 and not 42 as you had hoped.

To me, if a guy is dishonest upfront, this is a serious red flag. If he lies about things like his age, to me it means he has no qualms about not being completely honest. Maybe to him it seems like a minor embellishment; to me it indicates that the person cannot be trusted. Even if he lies about his age by 3 or 2 years.

There are things you can do to minimize the potentially harmful effects of deception. For instance, prior to meeting in person you can request a picture of the driver’s license e-mailed to you to verify the age. If you have talked via e-mail and on the phone and got to know each other a little, you should not feel discomfort asking about a copy of the driver’s license. If he has nothing to hide he will not have any problems sending it to you.

Men understand that women are cautious on dating sites. If he’s got something to hide he will refuse, or even get pissed off at you. In this case you know you’ve just saved yourself time and simply move on.

In my book Find Your Future Husband I give you lots of great tips on how to do your own homework and investigate the truth about a man you meet on a dating site before you get too invested in him and to avoid potential heartbreak, so check it out Here>>>

Is it a deal breaker when you find out he’s lied about his age?

Can you forgive someone who’s lied to you once or does it mean to you that he is a pathological liar and that’s what’s expected going forward? Or will you dump a guy and not look back when you catch him?

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A Reality Check On Your Relationship Here Is How He REALLY Feels About You

Have you ever been confused from not knowing how he really feels about you? Does his behavior seem strange? Read this story and my comment below. If you have anything like this ever happened to you, feel free to share in the comment section down this page!

Here is an e-mail from a subscriber:

Hi Elaine,

A few months ago I began communicating with a guy on a dating site. After talking for several weeks, we went on a date. It went well, but I had to go out of town after that. We could not see each other for a month, but continued to talk on the phone a few times a week, with him initiating communication.

During this time talking, he set up a date and asked me to go to a wedding with him. We were happily dating for two months. He had his bday coming up and asked me to come see him the night before and see him on the afternoon of his bday. He wanted me to leave mid-afternoon, though because his good friend and friend’s girlfriend were coming to see him and they were all going out. He said he wanted a “guys’ night out.” This really just sounded to me like he wanted to spend the evening stag with a couple. I went to see him but left early the next day and told him I was upset that he would ask me to come and then leave to hang out with a couple.

He left the country for a few days, and when he came back he wanted to see me. I told him I needed him to apologize to me for how he acted and for hurting my feelings. When he saw me a few days later, he came dressed up, brought me an orchid, and wanted to take me out. We had a nice time but I didn’t really feel better. The next day he called and said he was coming into my town in a week for work and would like to see me. He refused to stay with me, however, saying he wanted to stay in a hotel. “But that I could stay with him in the hotel.” I felt like this was really weird, since I had routinely spent the night at his house when I was invited to go see him.

So, I freaked out and broke up with him. The next day, I texted him and said I was really sorry and that I had overreacted. I called him, left a message saying the same thing. I heard from him a few days later in a text. He said that he had been thinking, and that we shouldn’t see each other because he didn’t treat me the way I wanted to be treated to should be. I asked him if we could discuss this fiasco, and he agreed. But as he was on a Bachelor party weekend across the country, we waited about four days to talk.

When I called him to talk about this situation I had created, I apologized, took the blame, said I had acted like a crazy person, and asked him if he thought we could still date. He said he did, and wanted to see me that week. So when he came to town, we had dinner and watched a movie. It went fine. He said we might be able to see each other on Friday or Saturday.

I asked him if he would like me to drive to see him on Friday, and he said he had been “debating it” because of his work schedule but that I was “of course invited.” I ended up going to see him, and again, everything went fine. After I left on Saturday, though, I thought about my time with him and realized he had been disengaged. He seemed reluctant to engage in conversation with me. He just seemed quiet.

I was driving to see my family from his house, and about 6 hours in I decided to call him and ask if he was okay. He didn’t pick up. And didn’t call me back.

That was last Saturday. On Monday I sent him a text asking if he had had a good break from work, and he said it was fine, but that he hadn’t gotten enough done. So he responded, but he didn’t ask me anything. Again, a refusal to engage. I haven’t heard from him since the text on Monday. I sent him a text yesterday saying that “I hope you had a good day,” but I have not called or emailed him.

I am not sure what to do at this point. I feel like he is evaluating our relationship-but I am worried that he has decided not to see me. I am also worried that because of my past psychotic behavior, too much pressure will make him run screaming.

What is your advice? Do I call him? It’s almost been a week since we have talked. Or do I need to leave him alone? Is there any hope here for our relationship?

Dianna

Dear Dianna,

You were just dating and it appears that he did not want at that point to make you a bigger part of his life.

It is very clear from his behavior that he is treating you as a casual dating relationship or a ‘friend with benefits’ to be precise. I can understand you being upset over him not inviting you to celebrate his ‘real’ b-day to which his friends were invited.

It is also clear that by not inviting you to hang out with his friends who are a couple he has demonstrated to you loud and clear that he does not want his friends to perceive the two of you as a couple.

Again, by choosing to stay at a hotel instead of staying with you he is showing you where you stand in your relationship. I understand him coming for work and his company’s paying for the hotel; nevertheless, he could have checked in and stayed with you if he wanted to. Yes, he said you were invited to spend the night at his hotel room; this is what men do also when they have a hooker entertain them while on a business trip.

Do you not see it?

What should you do? You ask.

My answer would be that you should do a reality check on your relationship. This is not what you want for yourself! You don’t want to be treated like a cheap hooker or swept under the rug. You want to have the security from knowing that the man you are with is truly dedicated to you and sees you as his future family and not just a sex toy!

Have you ever had anything like this happen to you?

Do you ever get blindsided and fail to see where you stand with a guy even when everyone else around you tells you the unbiased truth?

Do you want to know what really attracts a man on a deep emotional level and how to go from a casual ‘date’ to the woman he can’t live without and can’t bear to lose? Read This Page!

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My Boyfriend Wants Me To Lose Weight

What do you do when your boyfriend tells you ‘lose weight’? How do you react when your boyfriend wants you to lose weight and is being direct about it? Here is an email I received from a subscriber:

Hi Elaine,

My boyfriend told me lose weight. I feel very hurt and don’t know how to react. The problem is that he is a good guy and he tells me he doesn’t want to hurt me, but I can tell that since I started gaining weight in the past six months he is not as attracted to me as much anymore. He tells me I am wonderful and beautiful, and he really wants to be in a relationship with me but he feels that me gaining weight has taken a toll on our relationship.

He is a photographer and he photographs models for magazines. He says that physical beauty if important to him because he is very visual and even though he knows it’s shallow he can’t help it because this is what he is attracted to.

But I still feel very hurt and rejected. I don’t want to break up with him because we have a good loving relationship, but I don’t know what to tell him, and how to respond. I am not fat but not model-skinny either.

I don’t know how to react to this. He feels guilty for telling me this but he says that it’s better to be honest and not hide how he feels about this because we have open communication. One part of me is glad he is open with me because it would be much worse if he didn’t tell me how he feels about this issue and instead started cheating with someone skinnier.

What should I do? I want to know if there is anyone else who has experienced this problem with a boyfriend or a husband, and how they solved this.

Thanks

Maria

Hi Maria,

How do YOU feel about your weight? Do YOU want to lose weight? This is what it really comes down to. Listen, if you are happy with your appearance you should not alter who you are and what makes you happy. However, you need to ask yourself if this is the kind of sacrifice you are willing to make for your boyfriend to be happy, and how this will reflect on your relationship. There is a bigger issue behind the question of losing weight; your boyfriend may feel that you don’t respect him and his wishes, and that you are not willing to do your part in a relationship to make it work.

Do you feel that your boyfriend’s request is unreasonable? Or do you feel that you NEED to lose weight?

One of the reasons men drift away from a relationship is the loss of physical attraction. As I explain in my book Guide To Commitment, physical attraction and chemistry is a paramount ingredient of a healthy relationship. It is not the only thing that needs to be present in a relationship, but one of them; a very important one. You need to decide how YOU can balance being who you are and pleasing your boyfriend. If being yourself is incompatible with being in a relationship you should decide what’s more important to you – your authenticity or your relationship. That’s a decision YOU need to make.

 Elaine

Has your boyfriend even said he wants you to lose weight? Has the man you date ever hinted that you should lose weight? What did you do? How did you react? Leave your comment below! Like this post? Share it on Facebook!

You can read my personal weight loss story and check out my video in which I talk about how I personally lost weight on This Page!

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