I am about to release a book about how I found and married the man of my dreams after turning 40. This is my second marriage. When I met my husband I was divorced and had two children from my previous marriage.
I made this short homemade video to document the highlights of our love story. Please let me know what you think about this video by leaving a comment below this article in the comment box on by leaving comment on the YouTube page in the comment section of this video on YouTube.
All of the women leaving constructive and useful feedback about this video will receive my book for free when it is finalized, so when leaving your comments, please leave your e-mail address in the e-mail address box to make sure you receive the book. The book is in electronic format and will be sent to your email address.
Thank you for your time!
This funny video shows you how to pick a husband. Oh, if finding a husband was THIS easy!
Down below is a video I recently made in which I teach men what women want in a man. I’d like to hear your feedback. Agree? Disagree? Anything you could add? Leave your comment in the comment section below!
It’s not a secret that men categorize women into two types – the girls they have fun with and no strings attached, and the girls they marry.
The trick is to determine whether your guy is thinking of you long-term or a ‘good for now’ girl and to become the one he’ll want to keep forever.
The secret to becoming the woman men envision as their future wife rather than a passing casual girl lies here == > Make Him Fall In Love
So, what’s the difference between the casual girl and the woman all men want to marry?
There are certain traits that women men commit to display. Men pick up on subtle unspoken signals from the very first time they meet you.
Believe it or not, men instantly identify the value of the woman and place her in the appropriate category.
The girls who get in the casual category will have a much harder time digging out of that category and getting into the category of potential wives. But it’s not hard to do once you follow the script I have outlined in my program here ==> Make Him Fall In Love
There are certain traits that you should have in order for a man to take you seriously. And if you think that what you’ve heard before about playing hard to get, about not kissing and not sleeping with a man too soon, and being aloof and artificially unavailable will get you a ring on your finger you can’t be farther from the truth!
In fact, men don’t like women who play hard to get and will often stop pursuing a woman because they read her games as lack of interest.
Instead of trying to artificially inflate your worth by trying hard to get, how about using the REAL strategies that show any man how to be the woman a man can’t live without.
I will show you exactly how – read this entire page and you will see how this has helped other women just like you to become the woman men marry == > Make Him Fall In Love
Do you want to know if commitment phobics finally commit to marriage? You bet! Here is a true story of a man who was a commitment phobic and who is now happily married for more than two years.
Several years ago I got into a minor fender bender accident and I needed a lawyer. James, a lawyer living in my town who took my case, was a typical commitment phobic.
Divorced, with two kids and insane hatred toward divorces, marriages and his ex wife who drove him nuts by not allowing him to see his children he swore he’d never get married again.
At that time he was dating Betty, his girlfriend who was divorced with two kids.
His kids were boys; her kids were girls.
Betty had a hot body and a beautiful face. They had a relationship for a year and a half and she was pushing for marriage.
James loved Betty but he did not feel like marrying her. In fact he swore that he did not want to get married because of his prior bad experience with divorce and also because he thought that bringing another woman into his life would jeopardize his custodial arrangements with his kids.
If you know anything about California family law, getting married can be a strong detriment for a parent and is certainly a ‘significant change of circumstances’ under which a party can bring a motion for modification of custody. In laymen terms this means that if he got married his ex wife could file papers in court to ask the judge to reduce his time with his children claiming that the new wife would be detrimental to their kids.
After struggling with James’ non-commitment Betty finally moved on.
James dated several women casually and as soon as the woman wanted something more serious he told her that he was not looking for anything more serious and gradually disappeared from her life. He told me that every time a woman and he became intimate she immediately started to assume that this was going somewhere, so he sensed it.
When James met Sally she wasn’t any different from his other dates. They met on a dating site, went out three times, and slept together on their third date, which was no different from everyone else he had met before EXCEPT Sally was pretty laid back and she did not assume that they were in a relationship after they slept together.
James continued to call her and ask her out. After a while he stopped seeing anyone else because he had such a good time with Sally that seeing anyone else did not appeal to him anymore.
Not once did Sally ask where their relationship was going. Not once did she ask if he was seeing anyone else or if he had stopped.
At some point my case was closed and I lost track of James. Six months later I ran into him by accident. We had a small chit chat and he told me he was on the way to his girlfriend’s house. I asked if it was the same person he had been dating and he said yes.
Another six months or so went by and I ran into James again. At this time he said his girlfriend was in the process of moving in with him and he was putting an addition to his house to make it roomier for the kids (Sally had three). I asked if he was planning to get married and he said he had not thought about it yet, and probably not but if he ever did get married again she’d be the one.
A few months went by and they got engaged and married shortly after. I called James because I needed paperwork from my old case in which he represented me and he told me he had gotten married. Actually he was very excited as he spoke about it. I still run into him here and there and he is still happily married.
So, you may ask, what the heck did Sally do differently that made a commitment phobic commit?
Let me spell it out here; She did not assume anything; she went with the flow; she allowed the natural progression of a relationship to take its place on its own. She never asked where their relationship was going. She allowed her future husband to take the lead and decide on his own time that he was so in love with her that he WANTED to marry her.
She just knew THE SECRETS TO MAKING A MAN COMMIT!
If you’ve had a chance to check out Commitment Phobic To Husband it pretty much spells out everything a wise woman knows about men and what a commitment process involves. You need to allow the man to be the lead.
Pressuring a man into commitment will not get you in the door. It will only get you out the door. For a man to commit he has to WANT to commit. In other words, it has to be HIS initiative. And if you don’t know how to relax, stop worrying about the timelines and the time frames for moving in, getting engaged and getting married and want to be in control of your life, I recommend that you check out Commitment Phobic To Husband if you haven’t yet because the women who have – already know the secrets to making a man want to commit to you forever – Click Here to Read>>>
If your boyfriend is reluctant to marriage, there could be multiple reasons why he won’t marry you, including the ones that you could change. But sometimes there is really nothing wrong with you personally, but he still won’t marry you. When it comes to marriage and the reason he doesn’t want to marry you, men and women think the same. The easiest way for you to figure out why he won’t marry you is to put yourself in his shoes and ask yourself, would I want to marry me if I were in his shoes? You may just come up with the answer to your own question.
But if you want to know why I didn’t marry my wonderful boyfriend, read this article and ask yourself, perhaps this is the reason or at least one of the reasons your boyfriend doesn’t want to marry you.
One of the fears men carry about marriage and commitment is DIVORCE. Yes, men fear divorce worse than the fire. Divorce will, just like a forest fire take away your house, your car, and your savings account, along with your IRA, stocks, bonds and your social security.
If you have children, it will most likely take them away as well, or at least hamper a man’s time with them and easy access to them.
Why in the world would a man want to surrender everything he’s worked for and saved in his life. Parting with your life savings, your house and nice cars is certainly not on everybody’s to-do list.
Being a debt-free with no outstanding liabilities and no mortgage to pay is a breeze especially when you are financially secure. Marrying someone who has more debt than they make automatically puts you in the position where you might and certainly will end up throwing your own good money after somebody else’s before marriage incurred debt. That’s just that!
If you are broke, with bad credit, lots of liabilities and horrible spending habits; if you spend more than you make and ‘rob Peter to pay Paul’, and your boyfriend is making good money and has a savings account, ask yourself, why is the world would he marry me? It is especially true if he is already getting the ‘free milk’, you are living together as a husband and wife, you do his laundry, cook for him and sleep with him. What is he missing out?
But if you don’t think that this situation is applicable to you; if you have your life in order and your act together, consider reading about Commitment!
Find out how to make a man commit to marriage, read == > Make Him Commit!
If you are struggling with making your man marry you, you are not alone. Many women express concerns about men and commitment and for a great number of women men are beyond understanding. This article explains some very critical things a woman must learn to understand why some women can make men marry them without much effort, while others struggle with making a man commit.
When you want to make a man marry you it is your natural desire. And yet, when you concentrate your effort on making him marry you or make some sort of formal commitment to you, you are unwittingly killing the romance. The more you struggle with making him commit and marry you, the more mundane your relationship becomes. There is no spark, no romance. To a man it feels like he is being pressured into commitment.
If you really want him to marry you, you must relax and let the relationship unfold naturally.
Men want to feel that they are the ones who are making the decision to marry you. They can’t stand being pressured, coerced, or convinced. If a man marries you because he has finally given up to your begging and pleading, convincing and coercing, this marriage won’t last.
Another thing to understand about men and marriage is that not all men are made for it. Some men prefer to stay unmarried forever. This is where you need to identify whether your man is the marrying type.
But the most important thing you must realize is that there are two kinds of women; one kind is the kind of women men marry, and the other kind is the women who seem to stay single forever. It’s not about the looks or money, but the women who seem to make men desperately fall in love possess certain personality traits that turn men into hopeless romantics and motivated warriors.
One way to approach management of money in a relationship is each person keeps their own financial resources and common expenses are shared 50:50. Call this the roommate solution for this is generally how financial management is done when unrelated individuals share a living arrangement. I don’t know your financial details, you don’t know mine and as long as we each put in to pay the common bills on time, no problems.
If you are in a committed relationship and this is how the money is approached this is a great business relationship. You can probably maintain this for a while but what happens when one half of the relationship wants something the other half can’t afford? The lesser income partner always trumps the higher because if he or she can’t afford half, the household goes without? The natural progression of this is easy to foresee – the one with greater financial resources will start covering the costs of those wanted items. In the beginning, no problem, maybe gratitude or appreciation for accessing more than the individual might afford.
Over time, this is a huge potential for conflict, resentment, and embarrassment. If I’m the one with fewer resources, I start to feel guilty; I’m not pulling my fair share. If I’m the one with the resources, I might begin to feel resentful that I’m always putting out the money, taking care of things when my partner is short. Without communication, the hidden emotions manifest in behaviors that can undermine the relationship. I’m angry so I withhold sex. I’m humiliated and don’t feel I can make a preference known when decisions are made. The power imbalance just festers.
The roommate solution works for non-involved roommates because when you are not in a committed relationship with someone there are no expectations. When you are in a relationship with someone, there are expectations. I expect my partner to take care of me when I can’t take care of myself. To help me make sure my basic needs are managed. Support me while I seek to better myself and invest in our future.
An investment in a future together requires a partnership. A strong partnership is not about equal income and expenses, but equal respect and understanding which are based on communication.
One way to approach that partnership is to acknowledge that individual incomes belong to the individual but the common unit that the relationship creates, the couple, the family; has common expenses and goals. Each person controls their own financial resources and each contributes to a common pool that all household expenses are then paid from. Monthly, recurring expenses are paid from the common fund. Larger expenses are discussed and planned for. A way to mange funding those larger expenses (cruise vacation, property taxes) is to set up individual savings accounts and contribute monthly or quarterly into those accounts until the expense comes due.
This partnership method enables the individual to retain financial autonomy while supporting the whole of the relationship. I can still give a gift to my spouse but because we discuss any large financial obligations, plan and have a process for funding those larger expenses; no one person is covering the cost without balanced discussion, or input from the other. The financial contribution may not be the same from both of us, but before we get to an unequal cost share, we have discussed it and worked through any issues or feelings that may bring up. Together we have set our financial goals and priorities.
This post was contributed by Vicki Hudson at Home & Hearth
Marissa wrote to me for the first time after a chain of short term relationships that all ended up the same way – the man she was seeing suddenly disappeared on her after a few dates. She wanted to know what it was that she did wrong that repelled men.
After a few coaching sessions she started to change the way she approached dating and relationships.
The most critical improvement that I saw in her was that she began to approach dating as a fun ‘get to know’ process, without relying too much on the first impressions, and without trusting your gut and jumping to conclusions, but simply going with the flaw and enjoying the ride rather than trying to come to a destination.
She bought all of my books, by she says that the book she found the most useful for her situation was Find Your Future Husband.
She says that it was really a life-changing experience and that reading it enlightened her tremendously and made her change the way she was with men. I just received an e-mail from her in which she was saying she is getting married to a man she met six months ago, and that it was my book Find Your Future Husband that was the turning stone for her. Without it, she said, she’d probably still be in the dark maze of dating horrors.
See, when you approach dating from a perspective of a fun journey, instead of a quick shortcut to a desired destination, you become relax, and men pick up on those vibes.
You are no longer tense. You no longer counting dates. You no longer rely on the taught principles that a woman is expected to follow a certain path in dating, such as, kissing on a second date, sex on the third, and marriage after a year of dating.
See, those pre-programmed, preconceived notions just don’t hold true in real life.
When you approach dating as fun, you don’t become nervous when he fails to call you when you expect him to; you don’t become agitated when things don’t move as fast as you expect them to, and you don’t get upset and give your boyfriend an ultimatum when he doesn’t propose to you after a year.
You carry yourself with pride, knowing your value. You don’t care what everyone thinks. You don’t get upset because your sister is getting married after six months of dating and you still are single after going out with your man for a year and a half.
You are relaxed. You are enjoying your life. You radiate happiness. You draw men toward you. You are a challenge because you don’t chase them. They chase you instead. And your value in your man’s eyes boosts tenfold.
Enjoy your singlehood and don’t count days that you are not yet engaged to be married.
He’s perfect- he treats you well, you have piles of things in common and he’s all about the time you have together. But how come he’s still single? Could it be that he’s already attached? Here are some ways to tell if your date is married.
First, it’s a good idea to remember why it’s not good for him to be married in the first place. After you’ve been single for a bit, and dated a few weirdos, a guy who’s already attached may not sound so bad. At least you can tell he can make a commitment right? However it’s really important to remember that when you enter into a relationship with someone who already has a partner that the final outcome is going to leave at least one of you badly hurt- and it’s likely more than one will be affected.
Many men will say they are separated or living together, but living in the spare bedroom. That their marriage is over in everything but name and they are planning to leave. If you have feelings for a man like this, tell him you are interested in dating once he’s living on his own.
If he’s said nothing about a partner, he still may be attached. It’s important to trust your gut reaction. If you have a feeling that something is not quite right, you are likely to be correct.
The obvious things such as wedding rings, or tan lines are often a dead giveaway, as are the pictures in the wallet or the photo of a woman coming up when “home” rings him. However some men, especially habitual cheaters are good at hiding these signs. They may have a separate phone for talking with you, and keep both lives very separate.
If he hasn’t invited you to his home or gives you strict rules for interaction that’s a big warning sign. You might be able to tell if your date is married by the fact he is evasive about his home life in anyway, or prefers to always hang out at your house. If he’s an out of town love, this may be because it’s easier for him to build a false life away from home. How does he feel about you coming to visit him in his home town?
Does he want you to meet other people from his life? If he has children, he may be cautious about you meeting them at first, but what about his friends? Does he want to socialize with you by yourself all the time in quiet and secluded places or is he keen to meet you anywhere?
Use google to do a little background checking. It’s all part of the modern dating life and completely fine to check him out online. Look at things such as facebook and social networking sites where he may have a wife or girlfriend declared. Some have discovered their boyfriend is already attached after they were tagged on a facebook page.
So what happens if you discover the man you’ve fallen in love with is not only yours, but someone else’s? If you discover your date is married, it’s important to recognize how large a deception he has tried to pull over you and ask yourself if that is the sort of person you should commit yourself to.
A USA Today article posted on July 18, 2005 claims that there has been a significant decline in the divorce rate all over the United States. The U.S. divorce rate is currently at 17.7% per 1,000 married women. A very considerable decrease compared to the 1980 U.S. divorce rate, which is at 22.6%.
However, there has also been a significant decline in the U.S. marriage rate. From the 76.5% per 1,000 unmarried women in the year 1970, there has been a 50% drop to this day’s meager 39.9.
Does this imply that there is a growing concern among Americans that fewer couples prefer not to marry? Or are married couples trying to keep their marriages strong and fulfilling?
Why Do Married Couples Call It Quits?
The main causes of divorce in 2004 have been determined to be the following (in correct order, from highest rank).
– Extra-marital affairs
– Family strains
– Emotional and/or physical abuse
– Mid-life crisis
– Addictions like, but not limited to alcoholism, gambling
– Being a workaholic
But if you look closely, these situations could have been prevented had there been a viable and strong foundation for the relationship built on trust and fostered by good communication.