Four Breakup Mistakes Women Make
When you feel that your relationship is in danger and is coming to its end, you often become emotional and lose composure. This will inevitably result in you making one or more of the most common breakup mistakes women make.
Take a look at this list of mistakes, and see if you are making any of them:
~ Using sex to save the relationship
One of the most common mistakes women make when their boyfriends or the men they date initiate a breakup conversation is enticing them with sex hoping that the intercourse will make the men feel different about the break up, or make them forget the reasons why they want a breakup.
Some women may even feel that since the sex is always good it can effectively make the man dismiss the reasons he wants a breakup and to stay in the relationship for the sake of sex.
The reality is that while it is easy to entice a man with sex, using sex as the single tool to fix an impending breakup is simply not effective and will not result in the desired outcome. While a man, in many cases, will not turn down an opportunity to have sex with the woman he is about to break up with, chances are it will be their final sexual encounter, or worse yet, it can turn what used to be a full-fledged relationship into an occasional booty call.
Never use sex in an attempt to keep a man. If a serious relationship is what you want, don’t give sex without a man’s full commitment.
~ Contradicting your man’s reasons for a breakup
When your man brings up his reasons for ending the relationship during a breakup conversation, many women often are compelled to disagree with his statements, contradict them, and even fight with his opinion.
Remember, that a man’s opinion is just what it is – his opinion. It doesn’t mean he is right and you are wrong. It doesn’t mean he is wrong and you are right. It simply means that you two don’t see things eye to eye.
When Ben told Katie that he couldn’t be with her because he didn’t feel she was nurturing, she yelled at him “How can you say these things about me? I love my children and I am a very nurturing mother!” What nurturing meant to Ben didn’t mean the same to Katie. The reality was that Ben did not feel nurtured. It didn’t matter if she was nurturing toward others. While she was a very loving mother, her entire love bank was dedicated to her children. Ben, however, did not feel that she was as loving toward him as his ideal girlfriend would be.
Katie wasn’t wrong for not giving her loving care to Ben and choosing to give it all to her children. Neither was Ben for wanting to be loved and nurtured in a relationship. It was simply the fact that Katie, in her current situation, did not have any more to offer to Ben who felt short-changed. Their expectations of a relationship and their capacity to fulfill each other’s needs simply did not match.
~ Promising to change
Promising to change is another common wrongful tactic women often employ during a breakup conversation. In reality, people rarely change. Moreover, when people do change, they usually do so because of their personal growth, their own reasons, or simply with age. Granted, our interests change over time; we grow; we become more mature; we learn from our life experiences. But making promises to change overnight is no different from committing fraud. A woman can sometimes promise to make changes under pressure when her relationship with the man she loves in at stake. Living up to those promises proven nearly impossible, however, and while it may work for a while, it will inevitably cause long term negative effects.
Dave complained that Mary didn’t share his love for the outdoors. He told her that he couldn’t see his life with a partner who did not want to participate in that integral part of his life. Mary was in love with Dave and would do anything to keep him. At the critical moment in their discussions about the future, Mary made a promise to Dave to participate more in his outdoor activities. Dave decided to give the relationship another shot. Mary went on a few hikes with Dave after which she started resenting him. She became passive aggressive, afraid of telling Dave how she really felt, and how much she resented going on hikes with him. Her negative attitude was, however, apparent. She became irritable, moody and unhappy. A month later Dave broke up with her anyway.
The key to keeping a man in your life is not about changing who you are; it’s about making him accept you and love you for who you are and for who you are not.
~ Pressuring your man into staying with you
Often, the threat of a breakup will make a woman so emotional that she’ll try to do anything to save the relationship right on the spot. A woman can even resort to threats, and while they won’t usually be physical threats, she can promise to pull some strings to make a man’s life more difficult.
When Sarah found out that her husband Matt was seeing Anabella whom he promised to end his marriage with Sarah, she started threatening him with outrageous child support demands, threatened to not release her interest in his business and to not allow him to have any part of their family home which was recorded and mortgaged on her name. She also stated that she would do anything in her power to not let Matt have any part of custody of their young children. Eventually Matt and Anabella ended their affair due to the stress Sarah’s threats created in Matt’s life. After Matt’s affair ended, Matt and Sarah tried to make their marriage work, but Matt always felt that he was coerced by Sarah. He resented her so much that several months later he started another affair with a woman he met at the local Chamber of Commerce.
As you can see; none of the strategies commonly employed by women at the treat of an impending break up works. There are, however, real effective tools to save a relationship, prevent a break up, and to get a man back even after the break up occurs. On this page I’ve outlined more common break up scenarios Click Here to Read>>>