Is He Afraid Of Being Hurt?
Have you ever wondered why a man would act inconsistently and give you mixed signals?
And if he is pulling away or seemingly playing games, this could mean that he is just afraid of being hurt.
In this article I am sharing an email I received from one of my subscribers which describes a classic example of a man who is acting this way – he seems to like her, but his actions show that even though he likes her, he may be guarding his heart from being hurt.
She wanted to know my opinion as to whether the guy in question likes her, and to know if something like this has ever happened to anyone else, and how they dealt with the situation to get the guy to ask them out. So, if you’ve had something similar happen to you, go ahead and share in the comment section below!
Here is her email:
I read your emails and articles with a great interest every time I receive them. They have been very helpful in dealing with men.
One question that has not been addressed in your emails is what do you do when a guy you like flirts with me but doesn’t ask me out?
Is there any way I can find out for sure what he wants, and if he is ever going to ask me out or not?
I really like this guy, but if he is never going to ask me out I won’t bother. I want to know one way or the other.
Here is my story:
I and this guy Dan are members of the same club. We met several months ago at an event.
He came up to me and introduced himself first. We had a brief conversation but he didn’t ask for my phone number.
I ran into him on a weekly basis. About a month later he asked me for my phone number and we exchanged numbers.
I called him that same night to tell him it was good seeing him again and to ask if he wanted to go to a late night event that was going on the same night.
He said he had gone out of town, would be back late and wouldn’t be able to make it, but asked me if I wanted to go for coffee the next day.
We met for coffee and had a great time. Since that time he called me regularly, asking me out, and we went out several times. He also took time off of work to go some places with me I needed to go and to help me take care of some things.
We never kissed or had sex. I really liked him but at that time I was seeing somebody else casually. The guy I was seeing casually is also a member of our club.
One day Dan asked me if I wanted to go away for a couple of days. I was very excited and said I would definitely like to.
The next day he called me to tell me he had made hotel reservations.
Although I really wanted to go I felt that I had unfinished business with the guy I was seeing. I decided that since they both knew each other it would not be good if it became known that I was seeing both of them sexually. I was ready to start dating Dan sexually, but was not ready to let go of the guy I was sleeping with because I didn’t know Dan was serious about me.
I had to tell Dan I had decided not to go away with him.
He seemed very hurt.
Since that time he barely talked to me for almost two months.
My casual relationship with the other guy ended because we eventually grew apart without fault to either party.
I wanted to see if I could have a second chance with Dan.
After two months of not talking he finally started warming up to me.
When I see him, he always goes out of his way to come and talk to me. I often catch him looking at me from across the room (maybe my wishful thinking?). But when I ask him if he wants to do something together he always declines.
Recently I asked him if he was going to this one event and if we could drive together. He said yes, and came and picked me up. He drove me there and back, but he didn’t make a move on me.
Later I asked him if he was going to another event and if we could go together. He took me there again but when I asked if he wanted to do something after he said he was tired and was going to go home and go to sleep.
He doesn’t take the initiative to ask me out. I feel like I am the one to always reach out to him. And when I do, he sometimes turns me down, and sometimes he goes along with what I am asking him but doesn’t take it any further.
Elaine, do you think he likes me or is he just being friendly?
Do you think he is afraid to ask me out or is he just teasing me without any intention to ask me out? And is there any way I can get him to ask me out?
Look forward to hearing back from you! And I also would like to know if anyone has experienced anything like this and what others think about this (it would also be nice to hear from men who read your blog)
I have responded to Jessica via email, but before I post my reply here I wanted you guys to share your stories and opinions, so please go ahead and leave a comment in the comment section down below telling us what you think!