He Says He Is Not Ready 3 Choices You Can Make When He Says He Is Not Ready

September 2, 2010 by  
Filed under Commitment

When a man you’ve been dating or even your serious boyfriend suddenly tells you that he has been thinking about your relationship and is now not sure if he is ready for the kind of a relationship you want or the kinds of relationship you deserve; or that he actually knows that he is not ready for a relationship, or anything serious; or that he just doesn’t want a relationship at the moment, or that he is just not ready to date after all, and many other excuses, you will more than likely be devastated and rightfully so.

You may be feeling lied to and mislead. And you are probably wondering, does it mean that all these great dates didn’t really mean anything? All the intense feelings and loving words; are they just fluff?

Unfortunately men do this often and say the exact same thing often; and the reason men say these dreadful words is because they get the vibe from you that you want something more which they are not willing to give you at this time.

What should you do?

There are three choices you can make.

First and the most often chosen by most women option is to stay in a relationship in a waiting mode hoping that it’s the time that he needs.

It’s actually pathetic that men who were the ones to push the relationship forward in the beginning now come up with excuses and even drop hints that they’ve heard somewhere or read somewhere that you need to spend at least a year with the person to decide if you even want a serious commitment with that person. Or two year; or whatever the case is in your situation; he’ll come up with something to justify his lack of commitment toward your relationship.

Ever wonder how that is? He was the one pushing forward and now he is discounting his promises by taking back what he had said.

Let me tell you; staying in a relationship that is uncertain hoping for it to change with time is a sure-fire way to get yourself nowhere in this relationship.

Trust me; because I have seen this happen to so many women. They patiently waited for years since hearing the ‘not ready’ excuse and they are still there in the waiting mode; and he is still not ready, even years later.

The second choice you have (and about ten percent women chose this option) is to tell him that if he is not ready she is ready for a relationship with someone else – anyone, the one who is ready for a relationship with her.

This is a plausible and honorable choice to make; and I am sure a lot of relationship coaches will give you kudos for this.

This is what you want to do, well, unless the guy you are with is the one you want and no one else!

This is where the hard part comes – you don’t want thousands of guys who want a serious relationship and want it now; you want this one guy!

This is where the option number three becomes available at your disposal; unfortunately most women don’t know there is an option three; but there sure is a way to stay with the same guy AND encourage him to take the relationship to the next level.

I explain how to give him that little encouragement and to make him really see the benefits of committing to you on this pageRead This >>>

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Comments

6 Responses to “He Says He Is Not Ready 3 Choices You Can Make When He Says He Is Not Ready”
  1. Dorah says:

    tel me what to do when finding that your boyfriend and a father to your child is cheating on you

  2. s says:

    i have had breakup 4 mths back, and we have been in touch ever since. last mth,we even met and our meeting went great actually…there was fun and chemistry too. it was den i asked him if we cud get back together again and he said no. i tried all the rong methods of convincing etc and he said”i was interested in a future sometime with u but things were going too slow” and we left it at that. a mth later, he again got in touch with me under the pretext of helping me out with something and he said he has decided to go to the states for further studies(i m from india)…i wished him gud luck and said if he thinks its right for him he can do it and he replied”i knew u wud wish me from ur heart”. this was around a mth back and he hasnt got back to me yet.

    so can u plz tell me how to turnaround things to my advantage and how to undo my mistakes with him?anyways i m very much in the dating scene right now and things are going great for me but still i wud also want to give this a chance and this time really work it out in a lasting way.

    i have been planning to send him a text sayin”hi, hope u are doin fine. just wanted to say that i understand y u said no to us getting back. though i didnt intend to, i might have come across as too demanding and pressurising for u. just a brief apology from my side.yours,s”

    does this sound ok ?i fear this is sounding more like a closure, which i dont intend to.should i send him this text or not?can i write something that sounds or makes it much easier for us to be back?or shud i just keep quiet waiting for him to contact me again?

  3. lucia says:

    im currently seeing this guy, he says he is not ready for a relationship yet because he just started working and want to settle his things first and im still a student. we do everythng that couples do even though we dont refer to each other as girlrfiend and boyfriend but then he doesnt mind me telling people that we actually dating.we chat almost all the time on BBM and visit each other. few days ago he told me that im special to him and that im starting to get under his skin and he doesnt need that now. when i asked him what im doing to make him feel that way and whats going to happen if he fall for me, he said that its just me simply being my self and that if he falls for me, will deal with it when it happens.im really confused! does he really like me or im just his temporal stop until he is ready to move on and get another girl. please help

  4. Redstiletto says:

    So what’s the third choice???

    • admin says:

      The article reads that the third choice is to “give him that little encouragement and to make him really see the benefits of committing to you” ;-)

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