How to Attract a Man By Overcoming Your Natural Tendencies
Perhaps the guy you like is ignoring you and you want to draw his attention and get him to ask you out on a date. Whether you are naturally attractive, even stunningly beautiful, or just a plain Jane, it doesn’t matter much to men, as when it comes to the game of love, learning the skills of attraction does not require physical beauty as a prerequisite.
To a man, attraction is not so much physical; it is a combination of multiple components and what it really comes down to is whether the chemistry is there or it isn’t. In this article we are going to dissect the elements of female attraction and help you develop the skills that naturals use to get men literally addicted to them.
The first step in learning how to draw a guy closer to you even when he isn’t interested in you right now lies in overcoming your natural female tendencies that can drive a man away from you.
Those natural tendencies include:
– Playing mind games and playing hard to get
– Pretending that you aren’t interested in the guy when you really are very interested
– Becoming overly needy and possessive toward your boyfriend too soon
– Displaying jealous and insecure behavior traits
– Being a guy-pleaser and a people-pleaser in general
– Seeking approval from your boyfriend and constantly apologizing to a man for who you are
– Not having your own life and making your whole life revolve around the man you are seeing
Let’s look at these bullet points closer. What do they mean and how do they manifest themselves in your dating life?
Some women see the attraction game as a matter of life or death. When they don’t know how to play this game right they get turned down or the man whose attention they are seeking becomes unresponsive to their attempts to get him and keep him.
Thus, women perceive this as a failure. Worse, they think that just because they get rejected by one man, it means that there is something deeply wrong with them.
If that attractive man at the bar gives you a chilly reception after you tried talking to him, it’s not the end of the world. Instead of punishing yourself, just think that he must be having a bad day or he’s already taken. Be glad that you didn’t waste any more of your precious time on Mr. Unavailable.
Don’t allow a single bad experience to leak into your future efforts with men. Otherwise, you’ll be caught in a never-ending cycle of self-fulfilling prophecies.
When you allow one or even several experiences of rejection affect how you feel about yourself, your self-esteem plummets, and you start acting from the point of low self-esteem.
Thus, you start to become insecure and jealous when the man you date looks the other way. Perhaps he is checking out other women, but getting jealous and throwing a temper tantrum is the fastest way to drive a man away.
Another manifestation of low self-esteem is approval-seeking behavior. Have you ever asked your boyfriend what you should wear, what kind of makeup suits you best, and what purse you should buy? Those things are ok to do in moderation. It’s even advisable that you ask your man for advice once in a while. It makes him feel important and can earn you brownie points with your man, but ultimately your decisions should be your own. When you depend on your man for every decision in your life, this helplessness is very unattractive to men. He may feel like your hero in the beginning of a relationship, but it gets old very fast.
Don’t go overboard to refuse something you want just because your man doesn’t approve of it. Asking for suggestions and gauging whether your man has a similar taste in things is very different from trying to be someone you are not in order to get a man’s attention and approval. Instead of attracting him, you will drive him away because there is nothing more attractive to a man than a woman who is confident, and the opposite is also true.
Being jealous is a way in which personal insecurities manifest themselves. In fact, contrary to the popular belief, jealousy has nothing to do with love. It’s all about your personal image, and how you view yourself. If you think that you aren’t good enough to attract and keep a guy, why would your guy think that you are good enough for him?
Knowing your own worth regardless of who thinks what is the true expression of self-confidence.
Many erroneously think that confidence is very similar to arrogance. This can’t be farther from the truth. In fact, confidence is simply knowing your worth, while arrogance is pushing it down everyone else’s throat.
A truly confident woman is humble. She knows her worth and isn’t affected by what a man thinks of her. Her mood is not affected by the man’s opinion, and if a man doesn’t like her, she doesn’t allow that to bring her down.
Instead of dwelling on not being able to please him or changing herself to suit the image of a perfect girlfriend for her guy, she is being true to herself, and loves herself the way she is regardless of what a man thinks of her and how he perceives her.
However, some women are willing to fail miserably with men over and over if they get hung up on the outcome of a relationship with a specific guy, repeating this harmful and distracting pattern every time and in every relationship they get into. They often take it to the extreme and even start to care what an attractive stranger at the bar will think of them. Why should you care about a stranger’s approval? If he isn’t into you, he is not the one for you. He may already be taken, or is not available. Why would you spend your time and emotional recourses trying to get the attention of a man you know nothing about and to get his approval?
One of the other common mistakes to avoid is playing mind games with the man you are trying to date. Some women put so much importance on the outcome of their dating relationships that every interaction with a man is a do-or-die situation. The problem with this is that you over-think and over-analyze the act of getting a man to like you that you end up too flustered to hold a conversation.
If you’re one of these women who are trying too hard to attract a man, you need to stop looking at the game in such a terrifying light. How would you feel if a guy who approaches you at the bar had the look of a deer in the headlights? How much attraction would you feel for a guy who appears fearful and insecure at the first sight?
Women who naturally attract any man they what to meet kill the hesitation by simply walking up to a man and saying hello without worrying of the outcome. They are not attached to the outcome, and can take a no for an answer. They know their worth, and every guy who doesn’t think they are that special is simply not worth the effort.
These women would rather apply their charming skills elsewhere, instead of casting pearls before swine.
They don’t waste time trying to come up with a cheesy line or a witty comment to get a guy’s attention. They are already attractive by simply being themselves, and being authentic. Instead of thinking too hard about what to say to a guy to make him magically fall in love at sight, they make an observation about the situation or something interesting about the man they’re trying to meet.
Breaking the ice with a mysterious stranger doesn’t have to be that hard. And you truly don’t need to play games and wait for the guy who come up with a smart line to approach you. Make it easy for the man by striking a conversation first. If he is attracted to you, he will take the lead and ask you for your number. In not, no harm no foul. You haven’t lost anything, and if nothing else, you may just make a new friend. He might even know someone who might be a good match for you; you never know!
Here is how you can start a conversation with a guy if he is too shy to approach you fist.
For instance, if you’re stuck at the grocery check-out line and there’s a good-looking man is standing behind you, you can make a joke about how long the line is and suggest that you’ll end up having a 4 o’ clock shadow by the time you’re finished. Also, you could ask him about that funky looking watch he’s wearing. One good way to break the ice is to ask him about the story behind his peculiar accessory.
To summarize, if you want to become a man magnet, stop the habit of making things more complicated than they are. The first few steps to dating success may seem intimidating now but once you’ve gained some momentum, you’ll find that learning men attracting skills is easier than you ever thought it could be.
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