How to Tell He Wants a Relationship
Men always say that women are a mystery but if we’re a mystery, then they are an outright enigma. The most puzzling thing about men by far is how men almost never talk about their feelings. It seems impossible to figure out what they actually think or feel about something. Guessing doesn’t work but asking them doesn’t get you much more.
So if men are so awful at talking about their feelings how can a women figure out if a guy wants a relationship? Short of having him hypnotized or finding a truth serum, is there a way? Well, first it’s easier to talk about the ways to know when he definitely does not want a relationship. If you’ve been dating for a while and you haven’t met any of his friends or his family, he’s not ready for you to be a real part of his life.
If he doesn’t want to stop seeing other women or yammers on about not wanting to label what you have got going on here, he is not ready for a relationship. If he waits until the last minute to make plans, cancels dates frequently, or acts slightly annoyed when you attempt any public display of affection, he doesn’t want a relationship.
I know that’s all well and good but it doesn’t quite help you figure out if a man wants a relationship. It’s not as easy as taking the signs of a man not ready for a relationship and reversing them. Just because he doesn’t cancel dates, is okay with a little PDA, or make plans more than a day in advance doesn’t mean he wants a serious relationship. So how do you know?
Keep in mind that this isn’t scientific; it’s just my observations from a lifetime of dating coaching. So in no particular order, here are some of the signs I’ve observed. Just as every human being is different, your particular man might not show all of these signs, I think you need to see more than just one of them.
Relationship signpost A: He wants to see you and make plans to be together twice or more per week for at least a month. That first week or two, it’s normal for things to be hot and heavy. You may talk every other day and go out more than once a week, but if that lasts beyond the initial two weeks, this is a potential signpost.
Relationship signpost B: He introduces you to his parents. Now I know I said above that just because he introduces you to his friends or family it doesn’t mean that he wants a relationship. However, parents—particularly mothers—are different. If he takes you home to meet the parents, he wants a relationship. You get even bigger points if he brings you along for an important family function.
Relationship signpost C: Listen to how he introduces you to people, be it family, coworkers, or friends. Does he take the time to actually introduce you or does he let you do it yourself? If he actually calls you his girlfriend, that’s a no-brainer but if you’re at a party and he doesn’t introduce you to anyone and just leaves you on your own, then he’s not at the relationship stage yet. And if you don’t even go to any events together, and he keeps you in the closet so to speak, then you know you aren’t anywhere near even starting a relationship.
Relationship signpost D: He plans and goes on a trip with you that is more than just a quick weekend out of town. It’s an even better sign if the travel involves airfare, is planned a month or more in advance, or is somewhere that you expressed interest in going and then he took the initiative and arranged the whole trip.
Relationship signpost E: He takes care of you when you’re sick. I am definitely not suggesting that you find someone with a cold and try to get their germs, but if you happen to get some type of cold, flu, virus, whatever when you guys have been dating and he actually takes care of you, he definitely wants a relationship. This has to involve more than just calling to see if you need anything. He needs to bring you something, fix you soup, hold back your hair, pick up a prescription or take you to see the doctor.
Relationship signpost F: He cooks for you more than once AND does the dishes. Any guy can take a girl out to a restaurant, but a guy that actually takes the time and effort to prepare something and doesn’t ask you to help in any capacity is ready or nearly ready for a relationship. The crucial element is that this meal preparation has to happen more than once. Many men will try to whip up something once in order to impress, but if he follows it up another time then that is a much better sign.
Relationship signpost G: He gives up something he wants to do for something that you want to do. I’m not talking about him just buying you something when he could have spent money on himself. Time is way more precious than money. If he voluntarily, and with no wheedling or pleading from you, chooses to do something that you want to do rather than something he wants to do, then you are likely in or nearly in a relationship.
Probably the most important advice I can give though is to not spend all your time waiting for these things or any magical signs that he wants to have a relationship. You’ll drive yourself nuts and overanalyze everything he says and does. Plus if you consistently freak out about trying to figure out if he’s ready, odds are you will turn him off and make yourself miserable in the meantime. Get to know him, have fun, and see what happens. If he shows those positive signs and you’re having fun, you have got yourself a keeper.