Is He Giving Her Mixed Signals? Guys Giving Women Mixed Signals
January 17, 2010 by admin
Filed under Commitment Issues
Have you ever been with a guy who seems to be giving you mixed signals? You know, when one day everything seems great, and the next, he pulls away, doesn’t call you and doesn’t respond to your phone calls? Here is an e-mail from a reader:
Hi Elaine,
This guy I used to date is giving me mixed signals. I don’t understand if he is playing games or if he is just not interested. Sometimes I think if he was just not interested than why won’t he just tell me? Why does he keep me hanging on?
Thank you,
Katie
Dear Katie,
You didn’t explain in detail how exactly he is giving you mixed signals and what you mean by mixed signals. One thing I know for sure – guys don’t intentionally mislead you. If he is loving and caring one day and the next day he doesn’t call you, this is just bad manners. You may want to reconsider how much importance you place on this relationship. If, on the other hand you have just started dating, he is just taking it slow just like most any guy I know. You know, guys don’t usually jump into a serious relationship after a few dates, except those men who are insecure and needy, and who need constant re-assurance.
I explain in depth the dynamics of a relationship development in my Guide To Commitment. But I wanted to briefly mention that the way women and men see the development of a relationship varies greatly. We, women tend to make up our mind about a guy rather quickly. Men, however, come to view relationships from a completely different standpoint, which is covered in Guide To Commitment. Of course this response is brief and doesn’t even scratch the surface of what this Guide covers, but I wanted to briefly mention so that you understand this. He is taking his time.
You may be wondering just when will he make up his mind? It really depends on the guy, the woman and the relationship they build together, but it is critical to understand that you can’t pressure someone into committing to you sooner than they are ready. You have to be on the same wave length. A relationship should unfold naturally, without pressure on either part as I say in Guide To Commitment.
Sincerely,
Elaine
So, this is the question and answer. Do you have an opinion about this? Have you ever been in a situation with a guy who is giving you mixed signals? Please, leave a comment in this post if you would like to share your experience, stories, and opinion.
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I have kinda the same thing going on. I re united with a old friend from my 20′s and he told me to call him we talked he texted and called me everyday. we ended up having sex but i have no problem with that but the calls and text kinda of slowed down but he has still stayed in contact. There is also another thing he just got divorced and has 3 kids so I asked him what happened if anything had changed because i noticed a difference and he said that his kids are a priorty and there is nothing he can do about that which i totally understand that he has to take care of his kids and he just won joint custody of them and gets them every other week so he has his hands full trying to provide for them work is slow and he is currently staying with a relative so i get why he cant get serious because he has to figure out his life first. I like him but im not even sure if i want to get involved with someone with so much baggage and not to mention if he is really interested in me at all?
hi there that’s what my problem is he’s a single dad with a nasty boy age 23 to take care of, he told me he had to settle him first then our things later on.
ladies, these men are not that interested…they have reasonable excuses, but they are excuses used to not encourage you. this is not an issue about a man taking his time. move on and forward.
My guy took his time, he really did. But now he is commited to me and we are living together, his attitude to me and our relationship has changed completely, I feel now that he loves me and wants to be with me, however there were days when I nearly gave him up, such was his procrastination and confusion about the whole thing. I have known from the start I wanted him but he gave such pain till he came to love me too.