Is He On The Rebound? How To Tell If a Guy Is On The Rebound
I received an interesting question. Basically a reader asks me whether I think her ex boyfriend was on the rebound when they met. She says when they first met he had just broken up with his ex girlfriend. She wanted to know if in my opinion it was a rebound relationship, and thus could not be fixed.
Here is my response:
Generally it depends on how long his previous relationship lasted and what was the reason for his break up. From what I see people tend to have relationships such as this – one real, involved relationship following a rebound relationship; than another real relationship; and another rebound relationship.
Sometimes people can have more than one rebound relationship.
Generally, a rebound relationship is one in which we get solely for the purpose of getting over the pain of a break up. If there was no pain in the break up, there is no rebound. Sometimes we get so complacent in a relationship that we are mentally checked out long before the relationship ends. In this case we are very ready for a new real relationship. For instance, from my personal experience with my ex husband; He was in a real relationship with someone whom he met right after his divorce; even though his marriage was a real, and a long term marriage he was mentally checked out when it ended; so the relationship he started immediately after divorce was real and very involved. After the break up with that woman he went out with a couple of women both of whom were rebound. After his break up from the second rebound relationship, three weeks later he met me and we got married. The woman whom he broke up with thought it was a rebound relationship with me, and yet it was real, when the rebound one was her, not me.
So, it’s really impossible to tell without knowing him. Was he hurt when the break up with his ex happened and was he still in love with her? Was he trying to get over her when you met? If so, it could very well be a rebound relationship. If he was the one to break up, and if he had no feelings left for his ex, then it wasn’t a rebound relationship.