My Ex Is Dating Someone New – What to Do When Your Ex Is Dating Someone New
How many times have you seen a man start dating a new woman as soon as you walk out the door?
Unfortunately it is not uncommon for a man to run to a new woman as soon as a break up happens. It’s called a rebound relationship.
Why do men do that? And most importantly, does it mean you can’t get him back?
Well, as they say, the best way to get over someone is to get under somebody else. Can this really be the case in your situation?
One of my clients said she broke up with her boyfriend because he wouldn’t commit and he was active on a dating site they met through that same evening apparently looking for someone else.
Unfortunately, some men (and some women) are just like that. They can’t stand being alone for five minutes, and so they need someone to feel good about themselves.
These people don’t take the time to grieve the loss of the relationship because it is just too painful to not have somebody with them at all times.
Especially in light of being dumped. They need to rebuild their fragile egos, redeem themselves publicly and throw their new dates in your face.
You may have initiated the breakup hoping that your man will realize what he is about to lose and will take actions to change. But he, instead of begging you to stay with him, went onto a dating site and is meeting other women while you are at home alone thinking about him.
And while you are thinking of the things you can do to get him back, he is out on a date with someone else. And what’s worse, he has added his new woman on FaceBook and is posting flirtatious comments addressing her on his wall.
He may even be posting pictures of them together having a good time, potentially at a party, a concert, or some cool fun venue you and he used to go together.
And it seems like he is completely happy with the new woman and a thought of you doesn’t even cross his mind.
Should you be worried?
From what I’ve seen, this type of behavior is only targeted to get YOUR attention. After all, if he was serious about this new woman, wouldn’t he be more careful about flaunting his new (read, fragile) relationship publicly? Wouldn’t he be more careful about protecting it and waiting for it to get stronger before putting it on a display for everyone to see?
If anything, I see this kind of behavior as a pathetic attempt to get your attention and to make you jealous. In which case, this is a good thing if you still want to get him back because this means that he is still not over you and is definitely thinking about you.
As long as your ex is doing things that would normally get your attention (provided you still care), he is not over you and the chances of you getting him back are still good.
But I get asked this question a lot; do rebound relationships ever last?
The answer is two-fold; it depends on whether the new woman he is with is up to his standards.
What does it mean?
Well, often people get into rebound relationships just to numb the pain of the breakup. That’s why they are called rebound relationships. They are meant to serve as a buffer to protect from pain.
When a relationship ends, typically both people feel loss even if the relationship wasn’t always pleasant. Of course, there must have been some problems or disagreements, and this is why it ended. But there must have been something good about the relationship. And when the good part of the relationship is gone, we feel great loss.
So, to numb the pain of that loss, people find someone just to fill the void.
The person who enters a rebound relationship with a new partner may or may not feel overly excited about that new person. But even when he is extremely excited about the new woman, that still doesn’t mean that he won’t change his mind about her later. It all depends on the other person.
If the other person is someone your ex would date under normal circumstances, than the relationship has a potential to develop into something serious. But what I’ve seen rather often is that people who are hurting in the breakup the most enter new relationships or start dating just about anyone who comes along and returns their interest. They don’t care about who the person is, as long as it is someone.
Usually those rebound relationships end quickly, and after the person on the rebound realizes that he isn’t that into the new person anyway. And if this kind of relationship lasts, it is usually not fulfilling at all, and it feels even worse being in that relationship than being completely single.
Being with a new person whom we don’t feel much of a connection with intensifies the pain of the break up, so essentially it worsens the problem instead of fixing it.
In fact, if you are broken up with your ex right now, and know that he is dating someone else, I highly recommend that you let him date that other person or even go on dates with multiple people, because if your relationship had any substance at all (which I assume it did, or you wouldn’t be reading this), he will compare everyone to you, and you will always win.
So, is there a chance that his new relationship will turn into something more substantial? Yes there is. But this will only happen if the person he is with right now is a better fit for him than you were, or at least equally compatible with him as you.
I am not talking about being prettier, thinner or sexier than her. This is one of the most common mistakes I see people make after a break up.
They compare the new person in the looks department, and then they end up questioning their ex’s choices when the woman isn’t as pretty as them.
Looks have absolutely nothing to do with whom we choose. If your ex was with you, that means he was attracted to your looks. If he is dating someone else now, this means that he is attracted to the new person’s looks enough to date her.
What matters is overall compatibility, passion, commonalities, etc.
Do they have a lot of fun together? Do they get along well or do they fight? Do they have good communication? Are they strongly attracted to each other sexually and are they sexually compatible?
One or two dates don’t mean anything. But what if your ex has been dating someone new for a while?
Is there a chance he may end up with that person and leave your relationship behind?
There is. And this is where you need to know how to go about showing him that you are better for him than the new person.
Not only that, but if he falls in love with the new person, you will have missed your chance.
What you need to do right now is to make him fall in love with you again with a renewed passion.
And I will show you how to do that, so Read This Page >>>