You can read his email and questions he asks here.
And here is my response to Ken:
I am afraid to disappoint you, but asking how to get back the person you fell in love with in your specific situation is like asking how to get back something you’ve never had.
Let me explain;
The relationship you had with this woman was a rebound relationship.
You said in your email that when you first met she was fresh out of a relationship with her ex boyfriend.
When people jump into a new relationship days after their previous relationship ends, the only reason they do so is to fill the hole created by the breakup temporarily.
A person is not in any way ready and healthy enough to start a new relationship and to actually offer a good relationship to someone when they have not healed from the breakup.
There are many things to deal with emotionally and those who do not take the time in between relationships do so because they are not strong enough to deal with their issues on their own.
Another reason we choose a very specific person to have a rebound relationship with is because the rebound partner is typically the opposite of the ex in ways we did not like about the ex.
In your situation the woman you dated had a partner who was emotionally abusive as follows from your email. After the breakup with him she choose you because you sound like you are treating her completely differently – with a lot or respect and adoration.
She thought that was what she wanted – a partner who has what her ex didn’t. But after a couple of months she realized that she was fooling herself into thinking that she could replace one person with another, deducting the qualities she didn’t like and replacing the partner who had negative qualities with one who didn’t have them.
Love isn’t that easy. Love is complex. It’s not a puzzle in which you can take one piece out and replace it with another, and live happily ever after.
The reason she keeps going back to her ex is that he must have some redeeming qualities and not everything about him is bad.
I know you’ve mentioned the bad things – and I am sure he has those bad qualities. But along with his bad qualities, he must have some good ones. And those are the ones that make her go back to him.
You may or may not know what those good qualities are, and perhaps they are more important to this woman than the good qualities that YOU have.
The bottom line is, you have gotten yourself involved with a person on the rebound. And as I say in my book Get Him Back, rebound relationships almost never last.
As far as your question, should you stick around and wait for her to decide what she wants to do, my opinion is that whatever she decides to do about her relationship with the ex, you have no bearing on her final decision, and there isn’t anything YOU can do to influence her decision in regard with her ex.
If and when she decides to end that relationship she will need to heal first and become ready for a new relationship that has no encumbrance of the past.
You deserve a relationship in which the person you are with chooses you because they appreciate YOU, not because you are the opposite of their ex!
There is a fair chance if you weren’t the opposite of her ex if ways she didn’t like about him, she may not have chosen you for this rebound relationship in the first place, so I suggest that you move on with your life and not allow her to use you for her own selfish emotional needs”.
Now, a question for you, my subscribers – Have YOU had any experience with rebound relationships? – Please share your story in the comment section below!