Serious Talk In 5 Steps

November 12, 2012 by  
Filed under Commitment

Have you ever wondered if there was the right way to have a serious talk?

One of my clients called me today to let me know her boyfriend had just proposed.

She has been in private coaching with me for six months, since before she met him. They have been together for about four months. Today was the day he asked her to marry him!

You may be thinking it’s too fast, but the reality is that there is no right and wrong length of a relationship that can predict with a hundred percent accuracy the success of a marriage. I have known a couple who have been now married for twelve years and are very happy in their marriage. He proposed to his now wife only after knowing her for three weeks; they were engaged for six months after she accepted his proposal, and have now been married for years.

On the other hand, I have known couples who knew each other for years before getting married and are now going through a divorce.
The key here is how well you know each other before you accept a marriage proposal. Some people know each other on the surface for a long time, and fail to get to know each other intimately. Others get to know the most intimate details and share the deepest feelings and emotions early on. Granted, it takes a special person to make another open up to the extent that the person becomes comfortable with sharing their most intimate details and feelings. I teach you how to become that person a man can truly bond with on a deep emotional level on This Page>>>

So, is there the right way to have a serious talk? There certainly is.

In this article I have outlined the steps to have a serious talk:

1 Step – Make Sure Your Man Is The One Initiating The Serious Talk

Men want to feel that they are the ones making the decision to take your relationship to the next level of commitment. You may have hinted about marriage before, and have made him comfortable by letting him know that you think he is The One, and if marriage proposal came from him, you would surely accept it. Now that he has this information he should be the one starting The Talk.

2 Step – Be Sure He Is Serious About It

Many couples in relationships talk about their relationships and even marriage tongue and cheek. But when it comes to discussing his upcoming proposal, it is important that both of you understand the seriousness of the moment. Don’t turn it into a joke and act as if you are just having fun, as your man might lose interest in discussing the topic. When he is being serious, he wants to make sure you are in the same frame of mind.

3 Step – Be Completely Honest

Most men want to know what they would be getting themselves into if they were to marry. When your man asks you about your plans for the future, your debt and your financial situation, be honest. If you plan on quitting your job to start a family, tell him about your desires honestly. There is nothing worse than getting married and then discovering that your spouse suddenly decides to quit their job. Dishonestly and lack of complete disclosure prior to marriage can quickly lead to huge resentments and quick divorce.

If you have a huge credit card debt, your husband will know about it after you two get married anyway, so it’s better to let him know.

If you don’t disclose information he is entitled to know prior to marrying you that can substantially impact his finances, he will resent you for the rest of the marriage (which will probably not last). This isn’t about the money at this point. This is about honesty, integrity and reassuring your partner in your honest intentions. It is more likely that if one of you has financial problems, the other will be willing to help solve them if you are honest and upfront about them.

4 Step – Assist Your Man When He Asks For Assistance

Many men are clueless when it comes to the clothing size their women wear. Getting the right size ring can be even more complicated.

If your man asks you to go to a jewelry store with him to get your ring size, simply do so without expectations. Don’t expect him to get a ring on the spot. He may just be sizing it up. Perhaps he has a different ring style in mind, a different store, or the ring of your choice can be just out of his budged. Let him get your ring size without pressure, and if he asks for your opinions on what kind of rings you like, the kind of stone and metal, help him out, but be patient.

5 Step – Discuss Your Future

Before a man becomes completely convinced that it’s time to pop the question, he will want to know your views on the future. He’ll want to know where you would like to live in your future, what you want to do about your career, whether you want children, etc. Discuss as many topics as you can come up with. The more you clear the air, the more your man will be convinced you are the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with when he sees your goals for the future are aligned with his.

To find out how to move your relationship to the next level of commitment, Read This Page>>>


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