Should You Un-Friend Your Ex On FaceBook

September 12, 2011 by  
Filed under Get Him Back

Have you broken up with your ex? And if so, you are probably wondering what you should do about your FaceBook status or your FaceBook friendship with you ex.

Should you delete your ex from your friends list or should you keep him on your friends list?

Here is just one of the emails I have received in which one of my subscribers asks, Should I Un-Friend My Ex On FaceBook?

Dear Elaine M.D.

I just read your book, 101 reasons why men don’t call. It was very good and I needed that information under my belt-especially now!

Here is my situation and question:

My Ex and I broke up October 1st. We did not speak for 2 months, yes I emailed him first bc he is a soldier and I found out he got deployed to Iraq. When he came back, he called me, we saw each other several times casually, it was nice, we never discussed our breakup or anything about our relationship. We did NOT get back together nor did it become physical other than he kissed me and held my hand. I could tell he still had feelings for me, though. During that time I found out he was going back to Iraq then to Afghanistan. He has a very dangerous job, he is in a special divisions unit and has a pretty high rank and he is also a Commander.

I freaked out bc we did not clear the air between us or discuss anything that had happened between us. I made a decision to write him an email as if I would never see him alive again. (BTW because of his job, I did this, I have NEVER EVER EVER done this with any guy I’ve dated & broken off with in the past-EVER) Yes, I told him that I missed him, still loved him. I told him how much I admired him and how sorry I was that things did not work out between us, that if he thought it was a good idea, I would like to spend time with him when he got back to repair our relationship. He wrote back a beautiful email, basically saying that he missed me, too, that our break up was all his fault, not mine and he felt terrible about it,but between his kids, and his job and an possible relocation, he was not in a place to be in a committed relationship, but that he wanted to maintain contact with me. I said I understood, not to worry and to focus on his job and staying safe. He kept in touch the rest of the time he was over there with emails. He told me he would let me know that he made it home safe. 2 weeks after he was scheduled to return, I had not heard from him, I wrote him asking him to let me know if he got bk OK without any complications, he wrote me back immediately apologizing, saying sorry he had not written he was so busy, etc…..that he was bk in the country and would call me when he got back from his latest trip. That was 4 weeks ago, NOTHING. I have not contacted him either.

Meanwhile, he is still my friend on facebook. I post tons of photos of myself out, at parties, Balls, events, etc. I have almost 500 friends on facebook and am an ex model who still looks terrific. I have a great group of friends all over the world and make good money as a financial advisor now. I still wear a size 6 and am very popular. (see attached) I know he goes to my profile to check out what’s happening with me, but I have not heard a peep from him. No email no phone call.

Here is my question: Should I “UN FRIEND” him on facebook? I have kept him as a friend deliberately bc I found facebook to be a perfect place to upload all my old modeling photos and photos with family, travel, out with friends, etc. looking marvelous and living a happy life without him.

If you think I should unfriend him, when? Or should I just leave it as it is as if I did not notice? I do not intend to contact him further at this point.

Thank you in advance for your help with this question.

Rose (Name changed for privacy)

My Response:

Dear Rose,

Of course it’s your choice but I do not recommend un-friending him since you already know you won’t contact him first. If you un-friend him, this makes a statement and shows him that you still are not over him. If you didn’t care about him you would not ever notice, and you would not mind staying in touch as friends if you didn’t have any feelings left for him. The only situation in which I recommend un-friending him is when you feel that you will not be able to keep yourself from contacting him through Facebook.

In fact, there is a way to Use FaceBook To Regain His Interest

You can find out more about it on This Page!


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Comments

4 Responses to “Should You Un-Friend Your Ex On FaceBook”
  1. Bruce Ridolfi says:

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  2. Advice on Relationship says:

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  3. Cat says:

    Great post. I’ll be back for more real soon. Thanks..

  4. Treva Dukelow says:

    In the awesome design of things you actually get an A with regard to hard work. Exactly where you confused me was on the specifics. You know, they say, the devil is in the details… And that couldn’t be much more correct here. Having said that, allow me say to you what did do the job. The writing is certainly quite convincing and that is most likely why I am taking the effort in order to comment. I do not make it a regular habit of doing that. Second, although I can certainly notice the leaps in reasoning you come up with, I am definitely not certain of how you seem to unite your ideas which make the actual final result. For the moment I will yield to your point however trust in the near future you actually link the dots better.

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