How to Tell if Your Date is Married

January 16, 2010 by  
Filed under Marriage Commitment

He’s perfect- he treats you well, you have piles of things in common and he’s all about the time you have together. But how come he’s still single? Could it be that he’s already attached? Here are some ways to tell if your date is married.

First, it’s a good idea to remember why it’s not good for him to be married in the first place. After you’ve been single for a bit, and dated a few weirdos, a guy who’s already attached may not sound so bad. At least you can tell he can make a commitment right? However it’s really important to remember that when you enter into a relationship with someone who already has a partner that the final outcome is going to leave at least one of you badly hurt- and it’s likely more than one will be affected.

Many men will say they are separated or living together, but living in the spare bedroom. That their marriage is over in everything but name and they are planning to leave. If you have feelings for a man like this, tell him you are interested in dating once he’s living on his own.

If he’s said nothing about a partner, he still may be attached. It’s important to trust your gut reaction. If you have a feeling that something is not quite right, you are likely to be correct.

The obvious things such as wedding rings, or tan lines are often a dead giveaway, as are the pictures in the wallet or the photo of a woman coming up when “home” rings him. However some men, especially habitual cheaters are good at hiding these signs. They may have a separate phone for talking with you, and keep both lives very separate.

If he hasn’t invited you to his home or gives you strict rules for interaction that’s a big warning sign.  You might be able to tell if your date is married by the fact he is evasive about his home life in anyway, or prefers to always hang out at your house. If he’s an out of town love, this may be because it’s easier for him to build a false life away from home. How does he feel about you coming  to visit him in his home town?

Does he want you to meet other people from his life? If he has children, he may be cautious about you meeting them at first, but what about his friends? Does he want to socialize with you by yourself all the time in quiet and secluded places or is he keen to meet you anywhere?

Use google to do a little background checking. It’s all part of the modern dating life and completely fine to check him out online. Look at things such as facebook and social networking sites where he may have a wife or girlfriend declared. Some have discovered their boyfriend is already attached after they were tagged on a facebook page.

So what happens if you discover the man you’ve fallen in love with is not only yours, but someone else’s? If you discover your date is married, it’s important to recognize how large a deception he has tried to pull over you and ask yourself if that is the sort of person you should commit yourself to.

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