A USA Today article posted on July 18, 2005 claims that there has been a significant decline in the divorce rate all over the United States. The U.S. divorce rate is currently at 17.7% per 1,000 married women. A very considerable decrease compared to the 1980 U.S. divorce rate, which is at 22.6%.
However, there has also been a significant decline in the U.S. marriage rate. From the 76.5% per 1,000 unmarried women in the year 1970, there has been a 50% drop to this day’s meager 39.9.
Does this imply that there is a growing concern among Americans that fewer couples prefer not to marry? Or are married couples trying to keep their marriages strong and fulfilling?
Why Do Married Couples Call It Quits?
The main causes of divorce in 2004 have been determined to be the following (in correct order, from highest rank).
– Extra-marital affairs
– Family strains
– Emotional and/or physical abuse
– Mid-life crisis
– Addictions like, but not limited to alcoholism, gambling
– Being a workaholic
But if you look closely, these situations could have been prevented had there been a viable and strong foundation for the relationship built on trust and fostered by good communication.
Being happily married and staying happily married is not such a hard jigsaw puzzle to put together. It just needs tender loving care and some extra gestures of concern to always keep the fire within the marriage ablaze. Both spouses must always exert extra effort to keep the marriage fresh and interactive. Couples may start the journey to a strong and satisfying married life by avoiding the common pitfalls that haunt marital relationships.
Disagreements and arguments will happen. It is normal in any relationship. Two individuals, no matter how similar or compatible, will at some point clash and get into an argument – be it petty or something more serious.
Leaving the issue unresolved or the concerned addressed allows the issues pile up over time and subsequently result in graver situations that are more difficult to resolve or address later on. This scenario is avoidable had the couples been open to the idea that they can get through any problems if they knew the marriage pitfalls and troubles that they should have looked out for.
Couples, either newly married or married to each other for a long time, should understand that they need to communicate. It may sound surprising but recent studies show that communication issues actually top the list of the most important things that couples hope they had focused on before jumping into marriage.
Talk. It is unsafe to assume that a partner knows the others thoughts and needs and vice versa. Ask, and do not assume. Then pay close attention and listen to what is being said. Don’t just hear. Acknowledge that what has been said is clearly understood.
Take some time to send your partner a heartfelt thank you. Write a card or send flowers out of the blue to let your partner know that you appreciate him or her. An unexpected phone call would also be a nice gesture. If you are on the receiving end, reciprocate the initiative with the same sincere appreciation. It feels good to know that what you have done is acknowledged. Also, making your partners day will give you the same euphoric feeling.
If you are in a relationship currently but don’t know how to get your boyfriend to commit, read Make Him Commit