Marissa wrote to me for the first time after a chain of short term relationships that all ended up the same way – the man she was seeing suddenly disappeared on her after a few dates. She wanted to know what it was that she did wrong that repelled men.
After a few coaching sessions she started to change the way she approached dating and relationships.
The most critical improvement that I saw in her was that she began to approach dating as a fun ‘get to know’ process, without relying too much on the first impressions, and without trusting your gut and jumping to conclusions, but simply going with the flaw and enjoying the ride rather than trying to come to a destination.
She bought all of my books, by she says that the book she found the most useful for her situation was Find Your Future Husband.
She says that it was really a life-changing experience and that reading it enlightened her tremendously and made her change the way she was with men. I just received an e-mail from her in which she was saying she is getting married to a man she met six months ago, and that it was my book Find Your Future Husband that was the turning stone for her. Without it, she said, she’d probably still be in the dark maze of dating horrors.
See, when you approach dating from a perspective of a fun journey, instead of a quick shortcut to a desired destination, you become relax, and men pick up on those vibes.
You are no longer tense. You no longer counting dates. You no longer rely on the taught principles that a woman is expected to follow a certain path in dating, such as, kissing on a second date, sex on the third, and marriage after a year of dating.
See, those pre-programmed, preconceived notions just don’t hold true in real life.
When you approach dating as fun, you don’t become nervous when he fails to call you when you expect him to; you don’t become agitated when things don’t move as fast as you expect them to, and you don’t get upset and give your boyfriend an ultimatum when he doesn’t propose to you after a year.
You carry yourself with pride, knowing your value. You don’t care what everyone thinks. You don’t get upset because your sister is getting married after six months of dating and you still are single after going out with your man for a year and a half.
You are relaxed. You are enjoying your life. You radiate happiness. You draw men toward you. You are a challenge because you don’t chase them. They chase you instead. And your value in your man’s eyes boosts tenfold.
Enjoy your singlehood and don’t count days that you are not yet engaged to be married.