Why Does He Keep Me Hanging On?

January 22, 2010 by  
Filed under Commitment

Perhaps you’ve been seeing a guy for a while, but he doesn’t call you as often as you want him to, and seems to display resistance when you try to get closer. And you start wondering, if he really interested in me or does he just keep me hanging on?

He is not seeing anyone else as far as you know, but your relationship feels stagnated, as if he doesn’t want it to proceed to the next level of commitment. Perhaps not even commitment, but at least something more stable and more consistent.

He calls you infrequently, and when he calls you, it’s usually when you have already given up on him.

It seems as if he does the mere appearance to ensure you don’t completely slip away, but he doesn’t want to get closer, as if he is afraid of intimacy.

What should you do?

It would be nice to know if he just keeps you hanging onto the casual relationship while he is still on the market. Shockingly, in studies I have examined in Guide To Commitment, most men who were currently living with their girlfriends said that the reason they didn’t want to get married was that they did not see their girlfriends as a long-term partner, but rather someone to kill time with until something better comes along.

So, if your guy seems to have one foot in and one foot out, perhaps you should ask yourself, is it something that I don’t fulfill in his desire for a perfect match, or is it just him?

One of my friends, a successful lawyer, in his forties, divorced with two kids whom he shares custody of swore for four years following his divorce that he would never get married again. Well, after a chain of short term dating relationships in which every time a woman got serious he pulled away, he finally found the love of his life.

They met on a dating site. Just like a typical couple they had sex on the third date.

You may be thinking, wow that’s too soon! Guess what? They are now married, only a year later!

So what makes a man commit?

Compatibility, communication, and being a friend and lover in one. And, as one guy said, having a feeling that your partner’s got your back; that she is a true companion, confidant, and a lover in one.

Learn how to become the woman men want to commit to on a profound emotional level, read this page!

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4 Responses to “Why Does He Keep Me Hanging On?”
  1. im.shy.around.girls says:

    I’ve been followers your blog for 3 days now and i should say i am getting to like your post. and now how do i subscribe to your web log? Men who are good when it comes to conquest also happen to be good at enticing, so women long to be around them more because they are so fascinating. So, if you want to tips to attract women beautiful, practice your tempting attainments and crack some pranks. Humor is a great turn-on when it comes to the eyeballs of women.

  2. Anu Joseph says:


    I’ve been seeing this guy from past 5 months and we pretty much like each other. The only concern is I was into a relationship with another man a year before I met this guy and had been through a real bad breakup. So I need time before I could commit or say anything solid about our relationship to the one am seeing now. He lives abroad and whenever we meet, he asks me in every possible ways, what exactly is my take on him and if am meeting him and hanging around with him, what is that makes me do it…. But every time, I’d either change the topic or keep silent… We both talk playfully too… so the last time when we met, he said he’s flying to Taipei and it’d be boring there to roam around alone… n how he wished if he had someone to accompany…. I suggested playfully to get a girlfriend there and hang around with her… He asked me “and what would I do with her after the trip?” and he added, “first of all let me fix the hanging relationship with the one am hanging around now and then think about getting another girlfriend…” 😀 Well that makes me think, if its ME who need to speak my mind out or is it that he’s not getting any clue that I like him even though I dint say anything verbally…

  3. Viv says:

    I have been chatting with a guy on a dating site for the past 2 weeks, he emails me at work and sends me texts, his original emails and texts were very thoughtful and quite normal, some were flirtatious, to which I responded in a flirtatious manner too, but communication seemed balanced. I have grown to like him. For the past two days and more recently last night he became really sexually explicit in his texts, claiming to know that I was enjoying it etc. He has not once asked to meet up in the 2 weeks we have been chatting. I am very confused as to what he wants and I sent him to a text to say – “I am not comfortable texting someone in a flirtations manner who I have never met, it all seems rather vacuous”. To which he replied I agree I just like telling you how much of a fox you are” and then proceded to become rather sexually explicit. He is 30 years of age and states on his webiste page that he is looking for a relationshop. I like this guy and want to know what his true intentions are (this may already be obvious to the reader but when you like someone it is hard to see it). Is there a way of phrasing a question without making an idiot of myself or looking like a desparate woman, a way to find out what he wants?

    • AJ says:

      tell u what? its better to clear things out with the guy right now than getting emotionally involved with him and then repenting later…. so ask him very casually “so what are your expectations from me? or how do you see this relationship?” simple! though don’t push him for a reply… and 2 weeks is not enough time to really know a guy and his intentions…. 🙂

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