Why He Starts Acting Inconsistently When He Is Falling In Love With You

June 9, 2011 by  
Filed under Dating Tips For Women

Have you ever asked yourself, why would a man who used to be all over you in the beginning start withdrawing or acting inconsistently just as soon as things start to progress?

You knew he was developing feelings for you; you could just feel it. The way he talked to you and the things he said all pointed out at the fact that he was very much into you.

He told you that he thought you had something special, and that you were more than just friends. He told you that he wanted to be with you all the time, and how much he enjoyed talking to you, sharing and just being with you in his arms.

You knew it was the beginning of something very special; something that doesn’t happen too often, and that perhaps he could be The One.

He may have told you he wanted a serious relationship in his life and that he was ready. He made you believe you could have been The One for him.

Things progressed so well that he became comfortable in your new relationship knowing that you weren’t going to flake out on him because you were always there for him when he needed to talk, you always willingly offered your help, you offered to do things with him and allowed him to do things for you.

And then something went wrong.

He started developing fear. Fear that he may lose you – the woman who provided such needed comfort; the woman who made him feel so amazing and special.

You and he got along so well that he began to wonder if it was too good to be true.

So he started developing insecurities. His fear made him see things where none existed.

And when he was influenced by fear he started acting like a jerk. He was too afraid that the feelings he has started developing made him vulnerable, and that if the relationship did not work out in the end, he would get really hurt.

So, he started withdrawing. He started avoiding you. Instead of communicating his fears and insecurities clearly, openly and honestly, he decided that he was just going to shut down, stuff his feelings inside and fight them.

But you did not understand why he acted this way. Your friends tell you he is a jerk and a player. But you know in your heart of hearts that what you had was real!

And this is where it is critical to recognize that a man who withdraws from you in a situation like this does that because of his own insecurities.

Perhaps he hasn’t felt this way about anyone in a long time, and now he is deeply fearful of his own feelings.

It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you anymore. It just means that you need to be able to identify what he is experiencing.

On the next page I will show you how you can learn to understand men and why men act the way they do so you can take charge of your own love life and your destiny with your man – Read This Page

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Comments

9 Responses to “Why He Starts Acting Inconsistently When He Is Falling In Love With You”
  1. Segun says:

    How can i know if my girlfriend love and what question i ask her when we are together

  2. mary says:

    hi everyone,
    I got aquanted with this guy in my workplace bt we did’nt have any date together during those time. i quitted my job after 1 month & this causes us to not seeing each other anymore bt we were in touch by phone. our conversation was jst limited about working matters bt we both had a kind of feeling about each other.he wanted me to see each other bt he didnt call me to determine the exact date hour. he did it 2 times & this trigger me to doubt about his feeling. After 1 year later he called me again & wanted me to have a date.finally we could meet each other. we had some conversation on phone after that dating bt he didnt answer my phone in two last times i called him. then i send him a message to finish everything. the only thing he did was sending an email that”i wish u allowded me to talk to each other”. now i dont know what to do. what do u think? is he realy interested in me? what’s his purpose? should i talk to him seriously about ourselves?

  3. so i was married to this man for 7 years he got his citizenship 2 yrs ago anyways he ended up leaving and at first didnt want to have any contact with me cause he said he has to raise his daughters he brought over from mexico then he starts emailing me and coming over and it was just like old times everything was going good then he decides to break if off again dont understand what is going on why? just hard to be with someone for so long and then he just disappear from your life comments? he says he loves me but just has other commitments dont know what to think

    • mchin says:

      Marriage is a lifetime commitment – the most serious kind of commitment. You were with him for 7 years and that’s a long time. What commitments did he have that are more important than his marriage vows to you? When did these “other commitments” come up – before, during or after the marriage? If before or during the marriage, how come he didn’t share these with you? Using his daughters as a reason to leave is ridiculous. Won’t it benefit him to raise his daughters within a family unit rather than as a single parent? Is it co-incidental that he left after he got his citizenship? I think perhaps he had a different motive to marry and stay married to you. Even if he wanted to return to the marriage, I would think twice whether I would trust a man who would find it so easy to break a lifetime commitment in tough times. I’m sorry you are facing this situation. Perhaps it is good to find out the real character of this man, rejoice that you have experienced love, cry over the end of the marriage, stop all connection with him and move on to someone better that will come along.

  4. Aishat says:

    Waoh, you are amazing. thank you so much for this free gift. though I am 29years and divorced now for 3 years, this gift gave me inspiring insights into some of my issues I need to deal with & to understand men & relationships better. I am currently in a relationship with a 32 years single guy who is in a hurry for us to get married. Though he has a job and can support a family, i still feel it will be an uphill task for both os us. my issues with our union are:
    1. He is in a hurry. we met in september 2011 7 all he ever talks about is marriage and my friend says there is always something sinister behind a man hurrying a woman into marriage, which I agree with, I also asked a male friend if this is true & he says he does not beleive in generalisation, in addition I married my ex -husband barely three months after we met & I did not know him well enough & it was part of the reason for the break-up of my marriage.I informed my current date of all this and he said though he agrees with my friend but if he wanted to prettend, he can do so for years and show his true characer after marrying me, but I donot beleive this is true.he assures me he is different.

    2. I beleive with time he might start feeling emasculated since I earn more noney than he does, how do we resolve money issues?

    3. my friend also suggested that he might not be matured enough to handle being a step-father to both of my sons.

    4. All I ever wanted was to be married & happy and now my ex-husband has destroyed my dreams of a happy family as the children now has to move between us. he is a sociopath & has refused reconciliation, though I have finally decided to move on, it is very painful.
    5. my current boyfriend says he loves me becuase of my fear of God & honesty. Also I get the feeling I intrigue him becuase I held out so long before agreeing to a date with him.
    thank you.
    I look forward to hearing from you.

  5. Aishat says:

    I cannot purchase any of your books becuase Nigeria is not listed in the list of countries on your ordering list

  6. Kerry says:

    I started seeing my guy and found out 9 months into it after becoming totally in love with him that he is married. He admitted it but she doesn’t live with him all of the time. She lives in another state and comes home periodically throughout the year. I have tried to break it off with him over and over again. He is truly the most attentive and loving person I’ve ever been with. Even when I tell him I need to stop he will text. He’s not doing anything in a forceful way…we are so drawn to each other. It has been 3.5 yrs. I know he won’t leave his marriage and I don’t ask him to. My heart says one thing and logic says another. When he calls and texts daily it makes it very difficult to stop.

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