Why Men Will Not Tell You This Straight Up
Have you ever wondered why a man you’ve been seeing or even your boyfriend suddenly shuts down, refuses to talk to you or explain what’s going on, and often stops calling and returning your phone calls and text messages?
The reason men refuse to explain the reasons behind their behavior is that men unlike women are not in touch with their emotions.
When a man feels strongly about something, it often scares him. He has entered an unfamiliar territory. He is feelings something, but he can’t identify what it is he is feeling, and why he is feeling this way.
When this happens, a man sometimes will stop all contact with the woman he is dating, leaving her wonder what’s going on.
Men are creatures of action. They want to be able to identify the problem, take action and fix it.
When a man feels strong overwhelming emotions, he cannot identify the problem. He can’t touch or smell it, and therefore he feels powerless to fix it.
There is nothing more frightening to a man than feeling discomfort and not being able to fix it.
He may feel pain, embarrassment, even failure, but he won’t know why he is feeling this way. He may be feeling powerful emotions which he cannot pinpoint, and doesn’t know how to deal with.
There are two ways a man will deal with an argument, depending on his personality. Sometimes he may become defensive and argue back, trying to prove his point. But more often than not he will shut down and refuse to talk. Even when a man tries to prove his point in an argument at first, he will often surrender and stop trying. When this happens, he will go in his hideaway place, thinking that the relationship is over.
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He will hide his emotions, rather than identifying them and taking constructive approach to conflict resolution.
Unfortunately, most men will much rather completely bail out of the relationship than trying to fix it or work on it.
They think that a relationship should be easy, and if it requires work and effort, this is not healthy.
This isn’t the case, of course. Relationships require work, just like a car requires maintenance, regular oil changes and tune-ups.
As women, we end up being the ones fixing relationships and working on them.
It sounds unfair to us, but this is our biological makeup and our function as nurturers.
We, women, bring beauty to life, peace to war, and light into the darkness. A man needs to be shown a way to light.
Your job as a wise woman is to show him how to have a healthy satisfying relationship. If you wait for a man to take charge, you’ll wait forever.
There is a saying, the man is the head of the family and the woman is the neck which turns the head. As a woman, you have the power to turn the relationship whichever way you want it to go and influence your man to your way of thinking.
The man will only respond to your actions and behavior. In a relationship with a man you harvest what you plant.
If your man is withdrawn and shut down from you, he is responding to overwhelming emotions he can’t explain. You, as a woman, can show him by his actions how to take steps toward building the kind of relationship YOU want with him.
But if you become upset and angry because of how your man is acting, you will lose this power. This is why it is so critical for you to understand why men act the way they do in each situation, and to be able to explain his behavior in each specific situation.
Learn to understand your man and to influence him to your way of thinking!