Why Single Men Fear Commitment – Here Is Why Men Are Afraid Of Commitment
Are you wondering why men are afraid of commitment? If this is the kind of question you want to know the answers to, this article will help you understand why single men are afraid of commitment and how their fear of commitment develops. Read on so you can understand the underlying causes of fear of commitment.
The development of any adult (including the single male) will involve transitions. Understanding the various aspects of transition will require a definition in order to establish a foundational point of reference.
According to Moos and Tsu (1976) : Crisis theory asserts that people generally operate in consistent patterns, in equilibrium with their environment, solving problems with minimal delay by habitual mechanisms and reactions. When the usual problem-solving mechanisms do not work, tension arises and feelings of discomfort or strain occur. The individual experiences anxiety, fear, guilt or shame, a feeling of helplessness, some disorganization of function, and possibly other symptoms. Thus a crisis is essentially a disturbance of the equilibrium, an “upset in a steady state.”
At the forefront, this does not sound like a definition of transition; however, Moos and Tsu tie transition theory to crisis theory. In short, without some type of crisis, a transition will not occur. Transitions are brought about through some type of disturbance that creates the need for change or adjustment.
Developmentally, this pattern fits all persons, including the single male. Schlossberg (1984) addresses transitional issues as they relate to being anticipated, unanticipated, chronic, and nonevent. Anticipated changes are those changes that predictably occur during the unfolding of the life-cycle. Unanticipated transitions are nonscheduled events that are not predictable. These types involve crisis, eruptive circumstances, and other unexpected occurrences that are not the consequences of the life-cycle transition.
Chronic transitions are characterized by their pervasive presence. This type of transition may be a different experience for the single male due to the social, emotional, and physical ramifications of singleness. Schlossberg goes beyond crisis theory in dealing with transition; she attempts to tie transition into a specific context of causation rather than a general, theoretical framework.
Understanding the developmental issues related to crisis, transition, and specific causation are an important ingredient to understanding how to counsel the middle age single male.
If you want to learn how to make your boyfriend commit easily and effortlessly, read How To Make Him Commit!